tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27859511253292616042024-02-18T19:30:05.820-08:00{just the lovely things}Sometimes we're moved by beauty. Sometimes we're moved by pain and sadness. One of the joys of life is being able to look past the bad and celebrate just the lovely things. - anon -Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.comBlogger1100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-77860728015371235252013-04-14T09:02:00.001-07:002013-04-14T09:02:36.117-07:00Thoughts on churchI can't help but wonder if God is grieved when (we) try to pack so many to-do's in on Sundays that we miss out on the beauty of sabbath? <br />
<br />
My heart grows weary when I'm so exhausted on Sundays and I can't think about any part of my day that I geniunely enjoyed. That we are so desperate to pack in activities that have no value? It's heart breaking. <br />
<br />
I am growing weary of the routine. I'm going to sound hypocritical because I love routine. I have a morning routine and a work routine. I have routine. But on Saturdays and Sundays, routine drives me crazy if its wasteful. I don't want to be a people babysitter. (Nor do I want anyone to babysit me.) I want to do things that are meaningful and intentional. That doesn't necessarily translate to complicated. I don't need some big splash, some unnecessary hooplah that is just a show. But I do need things that are intentional. <br />
<br />
I'm struggling to find that. I still wrestle with putting expectations on people. But I don't want to look back at 2013 and see the frustration that I've seen the last thee months. <br />
<br />
Plainly put, I'm craving a change in my routine. <br />
<br />
Help me Jesus. Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-70495394311135741012013-01-12T09:22:00.001-08:002013-01-12T09:22:38.228-08:002013 word.I need to start this post off by saying how thankful I am for bloggy friends that have become good friends! Over the now 8 years I’ve been blogging (including the year that no one really knows about), I have been so blessed. I pray that you all have a very blessed New Year in 2013.<br />
<br />
With that said, it’s One Word time.<br />
<br />
If my memory serves me correct, I was skeptical about this idea that first year I wrote mine. I really didn’t think I’d make it 2 weeks without somehow screwing up and dropping the ball on the word I chose. Last year I know that I felt similar trepidation because balance is not my strong suit. But I could have never guessed how wrong I would be, both times, and how optimistic it makes me for this year!<br />
<br />
My 2011 word was intentional. God definitely started a reshaping process in me that I can only describe as being thrown in a fire. I had more people in 2011 that wanted to hold me accountable than ever before. People that depended on me. People that I needed to give my word to, and mean it. I wish I could tell you I was on my game 100% of the time, but I wasn’t, and that was okay. Fortunately those same folks that needed me had a lot of grace. But I am better. Daily I continue to get better. For every stumble, there is a corresponding and reactive victory.<br />
<br />
My 2012 word was balance. I was apparently blogging prophetic and poetic when I decided on this word because WOW at the difference a year makes. Balance is hard. And this year was no exception to being pushed and prodded at being a better, more balanced person. While I didn’t make any progress in my weight, I make a HUGE advance in my finances. I stuck to a budget book for the last 10 months. I bought a car! (My first time buying a car!) I kept (and still keep) a balanced checkbook. I know where every penny is going. I started keeping a notebook at work to not be so scatterbrained. I started keeping my house in better balance. I know that I need accountability, so having someone come to my house at least once a week prevented my house from looking like Hurricane Sandy stopped by. I started telling people no when what they were asking was too hard for me. I ROYGBIV’d my closet at home. I haven’t lost a pair of pants in 8 months. I still haven’t achieved full balance, but that’s okay. Also, that’s realistic. Balance for me is also dependent on what is going on. Sometimes balance just means being flexible.<br />
<br />
2012 was hard for me. There were so many things going on in my life that I never blogged about, but I carried the weight and stress every day. At the end of the year, I had a day where I got a break. I told someone that it felt like I could breathe deeply for the first time in 14 months. It didn’t mean all of my problems went away, but one very important stress factor was eliminated. And PRAISE GOD for that. I traveled the world (almost by myself) this year. I flew 68 hours in 9 days. I visited another continent. I spent New Years (last year) in Washington DC. I rejoined the online dating world, and then quit it again. (Dear Sweet, Wonderful Husband of mine, I would LOVE to just meet you IRL. Also, please come quickly!) There were relationships that healed this year. I had to grow and stretch, and even though it was painful at times, I know I am better and stronger because of those trials. I have loved more deeply this year than ever before. My best friend’s baby stole my heart all over again. (And He knows it too!) I watched another bestie marry the man of her dreams. I dyed my hair tangerine by accident. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But none of that matters if I’m not changed. That’s why my 2013 word is TRANSFORM.<br />
<br />
It’s often said that, if you don’t have a goal, then your reasons for starting something are futile and you’ll quit (whatever you’re doing) in a matter of weeks.<br />
<br />
Achieving balance in my life was only one part of the transition of life. The beauty of balance to me, is that it frees you up to some growth and opportunity in areas where you’d only seen chaos. Now it’s clear.<br />
<br />
And I need some transformation!<br />
<br />
2013 has already started as the year to transform my body. I hate the changes I’ve chosen to me, but my weight is not going to magically fall off. And I have to do something about it.<br />
<br />
Romans 12:2 admonishes us that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. Spiritually? That’s where I need to go. I don’t think I’m fundamentally wrong in my theology, but I need the Holy Spirit to radically transform me this year. Whole new level, if you will.<br />
<br />
Daily I have thoughts and attitudes that are wrong. I need them to be wrecked and transformed.<br />
<br />
I still have some work behaviors that need to be transformed too!<br />
<br />
More than anything (and I know this is a lofty (and will be at times a painful!) goal), but I want to look back at 2013 and not recognize who I was, for the good. I need my heart and head and body to be completely transformed.<br />
<br />
I’m ready!!!!!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Xoxo,<br />
<br />
JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-5713623519229451322012-12-08T09:22:00.001-08:002012-12-08T09:26:13.651-08:00Love in the JointI posted a photo the other day on Instagram and realized that I may not have ever shared this story! Here goes:<br />
<br />
Labor Day Weekend 1997 (I feel like Sophia Pettrillo). We had a gas leak in my neighborhood that weekend. We smelled a little bit of that rotten egg smell on Saturday, but by Sunday, we knew we had a big problem. Several neighbors called the city and even though they would have preferred to wait, we all knew that if this leak wasn't fixed, it was gonna be bad news. The utility trucks arrived around 5 that evening and when we got back home from church that night, they were still there. All in all, they would up digging five or six 6'x6' holes in the road to find the leak. (As an aside, my parents only live about a mile and a half from the Chattahoochee. If that leak has blown up, there would have been major damage to the river and water system.) All of us were assured that the city would not leave giant holes in the road. <br />
<br />
The next morning, my Mom woke me up to tell me she was going to my grandparents. So, I got dressed in a hurry. I grabbed a teal Disney magic music days t-shirt, hunter green and navy Disney shorts, my gold round frame glasses, threw my hair in a ponytail and ran out the door. My mom and I got in the car and left.<br />
<br />
This should be the end of the story, but, no. <br />
<br />
The following Sunday night, as we were getting ready for church. My mom handed me a letter. It was addressed to "Babygirl" and although my address wasn't right, I thought it was a joke. <br />
<br />
That is, until I read the letter. <br />
<br />
Apparently, in the 30 seconds it took to walk from the back door of my parents house to my Mom's car, I'd made quite an impression. <br />
<br />
What detail I'd seemingly forgotten is that the city, in an effort to save money, didn't want to pay the regular city workers time-and-a-half to patch those holes in the street on a holiday.<br />
<br />
So they opted to use free, available labor -- the inmates from the county jail. <br />
<br />
That's right, I got a letter from a prisoner. <br />
<br />
So, if you're keeping track, my options for a beloved are as follows: a 17 year-old, an Inmate, and guys on the Internet. Lucky me!<br />
<br />
(You should know that I wrote this post in Waffle House this am.) Just as I was finishing up, a 2-toothed cook lingered a little too long asking how my food was. So I'm guessing I should add him to the list too.<br />
<br />
God help my future gene pool. And somebody help me.<br />
<br />
That convent is looking better and better. <br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
Jenn<br />
<br />
<br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yiCdHFsOnBbP-PvH_DoJEg1I6PyNNJB9ynVQdnkUUcVfxu334YFba-1sC5rK2yt2eCnpkG-iTWscPEc6q8JMAw9QLJtDaiSkzQMK0RsxLhL_pk_gNfuhYsZKQvM2oi0iQ6kp7pj8wFEw/s640/blogger-image-176989441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yiCdHFsOnBbP-PvH_DoJEg1I6PyNNJB9ynVQdnkUUcVfxu334YFba-1sC5rK2yt2eCnpkG-iTWscPEc6q8JMAw9QLJtDaiSkzQMK0RsxLhL_pk_gNfuhYsZKQvM2oi0iQ6kp7pj8wFEw/s640/blogger-image-176989441.jpg" /></a></div> <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-_wSxaFyHaRD8V2NZ4vmJSncugaSl28Qett6DBTEe41ihgryMiTvpW_cT-4dUbYma0tc4sO4ZJmPuirFQK5Nu0R_dDeiS99YHqgrIhqtpw0fzQjMuQLYoFn9l8cqdfNouldcWNdVBLXw/s640/blogger-image-1373567541.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-_wSxaFyHaRD8V2NZ4vmJSncugaSl28Qett6DBTEe41ihgryMiTvpW_cT-4dUbYma0tc4sO4ZJmPuirFQK5Nu0R_dDeiS99YHqgrIhqtpw0fzQjMuQLYoFn9l8cqdfNouldcWNdVBLXw/s640/blogger-image-1373567541.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-17702522060211780132012-12-07T09:09:00.000-08:002012-12-07T09:34:28.932-08:0030 days of Christian Mingle(I need to preface what I write with this: I will do my best not to mention a single screen name. I am thankful for dating website and realize this posts could get me banned for life.)<br />
<br />
Currently, I'm listening to a cover of a Celine Dion song that transports me (regardless of the artist) back to my 17 year old self. I'm not proud of this, but I was so cruel to a few boys. Boys that I never, ever in a million years meant to hurt, but now see very clearly, how badly I hurt them. (I'M SO SORRY. TRULY I AM.) Ironically enough, they're all married now. With kids.<br />
<br />
(Maybe it's not karma, but it's definitely the golden rule. How you treat people will affect how others treat you.)<br />
<br />
And even though I swore that I would never do it again, I joined Christian Mingle.<br />
<br />
Right now, you're judging me. That's fine. I'm still judging me, so we're even.<br />
<br />
I had one of those weirdo nights where I got very sad about being single. I have days where it truthfully just sucks. (There are also a lot of days where I have no time to dwell on my lack-o-relationship.) I joined and promised myself that I wouldn't tell anybody. And that lasted about two days. I was intrigued. <br />
<br />
I justified my actions by not paying for the site. You can just be a member for free. You don't have to answer a million questions (I'm talking to you EHarmony) but what you write, and the pictures you want to post have to be approved. It just takes a day or two. Not a big deal. Very early after I joined, I got an email. Because I wasn't paying, I couldn't read the email. This is my one big Christian Mingle regret. (Later on, once I paid, I read the email and nearly cried because it was so sweet.) It was from a very kind guy and I honestly don't think I deserved the nice things he said about me – a complete stranger. Sadly, he's not on CM anymore meaning I missed my chance. <br />
<br />
What I have gotten so tickled about though are the screen names that people choose. And the places they take photos. And the animals they take photos with. When I tell you that there are a few folks that have provided HOURS of entertainment, I'm not kidding. One guy was wearing an eye patch and I wound up speaking in a pirate voice for almost two days. ARGGH. One guy's photos all included his ex-wife. (He mentioned her in his profile. UUMMM, NO.) One guy was having a LOT of mental health issues and went into great depth to detail those issues. One guy took a photo in a windowless white van. (Thanks to a bevy of lifetime movies in my latter teen years, I am afraid of being kidnapped in a windowless white van.) A LOT of guys take photos in a bathroom. With visible toilets. Often lid up.<br />
<br />
Side note: if you can't take a better photo than that, I must conclude you are NOT the man that God has for me. Thanks for playing. True story.<br />
<br />
There are a lot of dogs that make photos. Strangely enough, no cats. One guy had a ginormous iguana/kimodo dragon/lizard that could eat him. Nothing screams "I'm sexy" like reptiles. (I should make a shirt that says that. #winning) <br />
<br />
And the screen names. OH MY WORD. Every superhero, superpower, James Bond, bible verses, and more "Christian-ese" phrases than I can shake a stick at. I have seriously loved every one.<br />
<br />
I went into this process with my very short list of non-negotiables: must love Jesus, at least 5'9", gainfully employed. Now my list is longer and I'm contemplating chucking the whole list out the window. (Seriously, who am I to know God's best for me?) <br />
<br />
I haven't found love. Instead, I've started googling how to join a convent. Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-3407477113609119672012-11-04T21:40:00.001-08:002012-11-04T21:40:33.434-08:00Single part 1A friend of mine posted a hilarious tweet the other day:<br />
<br />
"Me to Jesus: If I can't have sex, I better have some words of knowledge & miracles all up in here"<br />
<br />
First off, I died laughing because my friend is hilarious. Secondly, I amen'd her because she's so right. This is how I feel more often than not. <br />
<br />
Today I got a text from a lady at church:<br />
<br />
can anybody take my place helping in the nursery tonight at 530? i feel awful n 2 ppl already cancelled. <br />
<br />
I hate that this lady is sick, but her stinkin' thinkin' barely skins the surface of the frustration I feel sometimes, especially from church people. <br />
<br />
Mostly because church people are the worst offenders when it comes to single folks. We have leprosy. We are undesired and unloved. That is, until there's a need, and then it's assumed we have no life and thusly no excuse to not jump in and help do the things that no one else wants to do because they've been blessed with a spouse (and possibly kids). And we should all be jumping to help because, hello... PURPOSE. <br />
<br />
I feel that the older I get, and maybe, hopefully it's just a season, but I'm struggling with singleness. At night, my heart aches out of frustration. I get angry when people justify why I'm alone (God's just preparing somebody for you!), and as of the last few days, find myself more and more restless. It's exhausting. <br />
<br />
I'm not angry at God. I would just like him to move a little faster. Expedite His plan. <br />
<br />
And then there's sex... I should probably pace myself and save that for another post though...<br />
<br />
JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-69288320637721970842012-10-02T09:00:00.001-07:002012-10-02T09:00:39.881-07:00Thankful things, part 3I know, bad blogger. (Do not guilty eye me.) life is fun and busy!<br />
<br />
But I'm thankful!<br />
<br />
31. Back on some medicine but no nausea!<br />
32. Cooler weather!<br />
33. Long sleeves<br />
34. Not having to shave as often. Ha!<br />
35. Friendships that are worth fighting for. <br />
36. My mom (whose birthday is today!) I love her.<br />
37. 5Ks and Fun Runs. <br />
38. Carmex healing cream lotion (try it. It'll change your life)<br />
39. Homemade makeup remover that keeps me from looking like a raccoon!<br />
40. One of my best friends getting married next weekend!<br />
<br />
Xoxo,<br />
Jenn<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jiFIuncxN2Sd2t5cBJn12zZgYq2tMs29p9U5vXMIxojyLBNzOnv1gsHzIsyLwp4oX8GYGQqG9Lp1030f0hYzIc4j6I1gCyCdAu-3zNnPavDeZnwx2p9tDkmhlHuQ86p67s82qCLB-PtG/s640/blogger-image--1932313871.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2jiFIuncxN2Sd2t5cBJn12zZgYq2tMs29p9U5vXMIxojyLBNzOnv1gsHzIsyLwp4oX8GYGQqG9Lp1030f0hYzIc4j6I1gCyCdAu-3zNnPavDeZnwx2p9tDkmhlHuQ86p67s82qCLB-PtG/s640/blogger-image--1932313871.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGv2f3NSC8C1sKTMRSiW5OfFGdRfzrAWetZKuXjBhQMJUwyxHbA60DWgGl8KaDaScJdkyVurqjJ0Cnvwh_-Wbyifqvoq5RJKKcei6JzLfvKz_jgbh5lzxgBP7W_-T9nJ3BDG96vj0x1G-/s640/blogger-image-411348618.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGv2f3NSC8C1sKTMRSiW5OfFGdRfzrAWetZKuXjBhQMJUwyxHbA60DWgGl8KaDaScJdkyVurqjJ0Cnvwh_-Wbyifqvoq5RJKKcei6JzLfvKz_jgbh5lzxgBP7W_-T9nJ3BDG96vj0x1G-/s640/blogger-image-411348618.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScApaePG7_CqwcgjUsiPzKU7K3NAkdj8WGDSqqNtRiuiBiBlXO-pVd2t7AjSAFj5j496kG1XqUkICtuEGhxb03E7vJt4aDc8pt8XLt-hU0EhxIXfRO7z_FJRDf58MgHL2-hfTG6m47sQd/s640/blogger-image-1089170781.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScApaePG7_CqwcgjUsiPzKU7K3NAkdj8WGDSqqNtRiuiBiBlXO-pVd2t7AjSAFj5j496kG1XqUkICtuEGhxb03E7vJt4aDc8pt8XLt-hU0EhxIXfRO7z_FJRDf58MgHL2-hfTG6m47sQd/s640/blogger-image-1089170781.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XkMmcdefJscQlvyxDwCo_nmyKT9jurHeaeykKcQuHbV2H7nBn3rP3pvNGWLEcmU7HeA-GwFLBroVjSHM59YHgPCkH2xRN9Ha4IVFRrtVUpZQKmEoqKbOcEE_7qeC-1rG2fKWGY-8oFam/s640/blogger-image-2110707690.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XkMmcdefJscQlvyxDwCo_nmyKT9jurHeaeykKcQuHbV2H7nBn3rP3pvNGWLEcmU7HeA-GwFLBroVjSHM59YHgPCkH2xRN9Ha4IVFRrtVUpZQKmEoqKbOcEE_7qeC-1rG2fKWGY-8oFam/s640/blogger-image-2110707690.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52tvvWE-DhYda3-Ci0ovNRFIXaQz1j4qVDUmsSu-vGDUtUczETNU6JzFVqU4UAOOQ2FaohNw3vFx-DCJqvEhmk3hnxDsbmn2nGKGFIbZ2yYnkAzbkwRYtyashFfsiIi2i5vwB6Ng6uE0d/s640/blogger-image-1564144135.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52tvvWE-DhYda3-Ci0ovNRFIXaQz1j4qVDUmsSu-vGDUtUczETNU6JzFVqU4UAOOQ2FaohNw3vFx-DCJqvEhmk3hnxDsbmn2nGKGFIbZ2yYnkAzbkwRYtyashFfsiIi2i5vwB6Ng6uE0d/s640/blogger-image-1564144135.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-49681419916418123762012-09-10T11:27:00.001-07:002012-09-10T11:27:00.405-07:00Thankful things part 214. College friends getting together<br />
15. That regardless of time, distance, or crazy -- these people love me, and I them. Deeply. <br />
16. Making buckeyes candy with friends! Yum!<br />
17. No traffic and beautiful weather for Sunday drives. <br />
18. Quality time with teen girls discussing Jesus & life. <br />
19. Heart friends. <br />
20. Being able to smell fresh cut grass. <br />
21. Saturday am walk. Woo hoo!<br />
22. Snuggling with Ada!<br />
23. Videoing Hudson telling me he loves me. <br />
24. Meeting my best friends fiancé. <br />
25. Alabama football. ROLL TIDE!<br />
26. Laughing on the phone with my brother. <br />
27. Worshipping my Jesus.<br />
28. Tweets to start a Jericho march in church. :)<br />
29. Focus at work. <br />
30. People in my house! (I've missed it)<br />
<br />
Hope you are having a great day!!Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-3652228226406027722012-09-04T10:41:00.001-07:002012-09-04T10:43:26.946-07:00progress.Nearly a week has gone by since my last post. I've been living. I make no apologies for that. :). I had a fantastic non-stressful weekend. I was able to accomplish several things that weren't on any to-do lists but that needed to be done. I got ALL of my clothes washed, folded, and put away/hung-up. For that reason alone, I'm giving myself a peach milkshake from Chick-fil-A tonight. (and all God's people should be saying AMEN.). <br />
<br />
Last week, I bought Lysa Terkeurst's book Unglued. Granted, I don't have kids, but having kids is not a prerequisite for having poor reactions. This season of my life is heavily focused on how I react to things, and (more important than that) how others react to my reaction. I think I'm level headed until I'm in the proverbial hot seat, and then I'm as human as they come. I want my faith and my love for God, and His love for me (and you) to show in ways that my temper doesn't allow. I want to be a better example for me! Lysa spends time in the book talking about progress, and the baby steps of life. Sometimes, it really it just moving forward, regardless of the pace. And I like that. I want that to bleed over into other areas of my life so that I can fully give God the control of my life that He wants and I need. <br />
<br />
I generally don't speak to those who read this blog directly, but today I pray that you are making progress too... in whatever area in your life is most burdensome! And that your Tuesday is fabulous. <br />
<br />
xoxo, <br />
JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-86602887053396416912012-08-28T06:50:00.001-07:002012-08-30T11:02:04.861-07:00thankful things...<br />
<br />
1. For the love of God Almighty<br />
2. for grace that I know I don't deserve<br />
3. A fabulous funny mother who is my best and loudest cheerleader. <br />
4. Dr. Pepper.<br />
5. Monday night dinners with my girlfriends.<br />
6. A heater in my office that keeps me from freezing.<br />
7. Barrettes for when I'm too lazy to dry my hair!<br />
8. Chocolate covered marshmallows.<br />
9. The best brother I could ask for!<br />
10. Sorority sisters that are some of my best friends, even 11 years later!<br />
11. Red comfy couches.<br />
12. Being able to coupon for my extended family.<br />
13. My favorite arab. <br />
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I hope you are thankful today! God is good!!<br />
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xoxo,<br />
Jenn<br />
<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5AHVP2SEOahkuQdBEF12D_ZSeaGGjusk9A7uPwZJX8A1pBAGStlzduty6QckVE0gDKXJKAf_vxUY8sv3-3AIke30FDWzCeLcXdD_n9M4ZFKbb29VddOupkVwwlGvohmkCOSywqVS_6C2-/s640/blogger-image-2032057636.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5AHVP2SEOahkuQdBEF12D_ZSeaGGjusk9A7uPwZJX8A1pBAGStlzduty6QckVE0gDKXJKAf_vxUY8sv3-3AIke30FDWzCeLcXdD_n9M4ZFKbb29VddOupkVwwlGvohmkCOSywqVS_6C2-/s640/blogger-image-2032057636.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-47045672600667697452012-08-27T07:32:00.001-07:002012-08-27T07:32:34.982-07:00Love is...Performing a choreographed routine for your wedding guests. <br />
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A grooms cake in the shape of an armadillo. <br />
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Kissing your beloved for the first time in front of God and 100 of your friends and family. <br />
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Best wishes and blessings to Brad and his beautiful bride PJ!!!<br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXDzQp-vynjZBa7ZHhK-WJH1DuI4fPqiCkDnKx9ch210D-at6PT-3MfzfTmziS_8JX2qjvTTfmPJbqNS5VrFbUxst6UH_Nx-BEGXBAc-FxpeNIvgoFzWJGmXIouNUJmx2kLct_Pwlll3Y/s640/blogger-image--1357202221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXDzQp-vynjZBa7ZHhK-WJH1DuI4fPqiCkDnKx9ch210D-at6PT-3MfzfTmziS_8JX2qjvTTfmPJbqNS5VrFbUxst6UH_Nx-BEGXBAc-FxpeNIvgoFzWJGmXIouNUJmx2kLct_Pwlll3Y/s640/blogger-image--1357202221.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUf5eSFNtPLWQefsatLVDlv0w3eKxMsaZZcXzDQEYhLG_tkhcaceU4lTbkaQlYbBAhHAtXgGbb_hZp6Nc8dyRaULUvAO2c8OpUTsaUHYDZTf8HH0Aol-3nFEaA5Y3M1c3hXz2pj4G6iLjn/s640/blogger-image--1204039910.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUf5eSFNtPLWQefsatLVDlv0w3eKxMsaZZcXzDQEYhLG_tkhcaceU4lTbkaQlYbBAhHAtXgGbb_hZp6Nc8dyRaULUvAO2c8OpUTsaUHYDZTf8HH0Aol-3nFEaA5Y3M1c3hXz2pj4G6iLjn/s640/blogger-image--1204039910.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWE4wMMJTeYfuIUWc7AJkFjVPFLXnUJcP3UVGDzMLGZjitMxHugaVQhyphenhyphen1TdE7RNZWGNUF2LSEfmTVVHd68w44yjMnE74LIeimziJ5-lSgulWhdRa7qn6Teb_4unprZ6K2H7wihgltY9IXY/s640/blogger-image--2128904076.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWE4wMMJTeYfuIUWc7AJkFjVPFLXnUJcP3UVGDzMLGZjitMxHugaVQhyphenhyphen1TdE7RNZWGNUF2LSEfmTVVHd68w44yjMnE74LIeimziJ5-lSgulWhdRa7qn6Teb_4unprZ6K2H7wihgltY9IXY/s640/blogger-image--2128904076.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-79320332535677211412012-08-24T07:41:00.001-07:002012-08-24T07:41:55.349-07:00Hurricane Isaac needs to slow his roll...This weekend I'm heading out of town to attend my friend Brad's wedding. He's the third in a litany of births, weddings, engagements, and showers that have filled up my calendar! <br />
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I am so excited for my friend because I can see what God is doing in his life and in his bride's life too! <br />
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6,000 miles from home to find your best friend and bride is pretty cool! After they've officially tied the knot, I'll try to share they're love story. So sweet!<br />
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Hope your weekend finds you blessed and busy with people you love!<br />
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Mine will be at the beach! <br />
xoxo, <br />
JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-49554022272475501162012-08-22T13:35:00.001-07:002012-08-22T13:41:36.415-07:00rose-colored glassesI've had a busy few weeks! <br />
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apparently I needed a reminder of a few things. I have always struggled with how I view me. I really am my own worst enemy. But lately (and by lately, I have to be real vague!) I've been forced to reevaluate how I view me so as not to skew others view of me. <br />
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Case in point: I found this photo today. This was half my lifetime ago. I was a baby. <br />
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I thought I was ugly. <br />
I thought I was fat. <br />
I thought I was unlovable. <br />
I thought I would never be good enough. <br />
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I was dumb!<br />
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I cannot go back and impart wisdom into that girl. But the grown woman in me needs to remember where beauty comes from and that an overly critical nature of one's self is a personal disservice as well as dishonors God. <br />
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I will say that I would give a great deal of money to have my 16-year old neck. Lucky girl. :)<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil4I2WfIn64EAC4wqr_L9i3dfEBDm3VHubI0LCuYhWGRSHMiqwgRYb36XD50Rf1-xeCpm8RVKlYZ2yzw5wZ-f81tF6d5Uw3xtfdLeTO-ZKkZ0omWOnzS5TC84BuNbVpdVOEpipAOiLtOrv/s640/blogger-image-260628548.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil4I2WfIn64EAC4wqr_L9i3dfEBDm3VHubI0LCuYhWGRSHMiqwgRYb36XD50Rf1-xeCpm8RVKlYZ2yzw5wZ-f81tF6d5Uw3xtfdLeTO-ZKkZ0omWOnzS5TC84BuNbVpdVOEpipAOiLtOrv/s640/blogger-image-260628548.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-53935475802753779442012-08-10T12:06:00.001-07:002012-08-10T12:06:42.551-07:00picture timeJust thought I'd share some photographic proof of the last few months... <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDKFpTE9AhyOI8M8EBlu9LtvWiBbAv-dheVO7TvPt0T6cph-icY9CbyE5CIeCNUToBs2D7qn5uOYEKMrVP4DTFVU7zpzTBqCiFf6k8ypSqZRqSLnychXu3f4Pgb1H7avresNWdU0q0IttW/s640/blogger-image--2121280996.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDKFpTE9AhyOI8M8EBlu9LtvWiBbAv-dheVO7TvPt0T6cph-icY9CbyE5CIeCNUToBs2D7qn5uOYEKMrVP4DTFVU7zpzTBqCiFf6k8ypSqZRqSLnychXu3f4Pgb1H7avresNWdU0q0IttW/s640/blogger-image--2121280996.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisrIUN9She3iNbZW83Q25sir-GSFp4SvOYRXP27ce5upwCcLjXU0W0S8a2xCOPHk2o90HEXbEeK94W2HHir3piGzVn3Adqa9PW5rY0sGs39PTBAYCjQi2bWSdXJhRQ6SO8xjoAf6DcvPfS/s640/blogger-image-317437583.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisrIUN9She3iNbZW83Q25sir-GSFp4SvOYRXP27ce5upwCcLjXU0W0S8a2xCOPHk2o90HEXbEeK94W2HHir3piGzVn3Adqa9PW5rY0sGs39PTBAYCjQi2bWSdXJhRQ6SO8xjoAf6DcvPfS/s640/blogger-image-317437583.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cQ9nHm_IWwDGIkq2Mqm-ZXEMWOSn17aQhxyE7ohOGxfOG5kCROLrUQ684u7HgllW3Fo4x5Ku5IbPSB0USXLBoMC936gyQnKaxN8Bp6vk2nxIiHFBso7T05eGrXyYEe4drIQOAJiSrAGD/s640/blogger-image-172566830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cQ9nHm_IWwDGIkq2Mqm-ZXEMWOSn17aQhxyE7ohOGxfOG5kCROLrUQ684u7HgllW3Fo4x5Ku5IbPSB0USXLBoMC936gyQnKaxN8Bp6vk2nxIiHFBso7T05eGrXyYEe4drIQOAJiSrAGD/s640/blogger-image-172566830.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnQMWuFA3fEtV7l-WesyGi7D0yGnDH5A0oZt9z-gCzlGgQsgcLocfBixVm3XC3jTdU7u66-fxVDMNh6BafkrWMXntEcCNDY_YyPSj_oUDQfSVd8f_qPIeCGb-KCHJE7vXIMyQt8pcXPS5/s640/blogger-image-1803934415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnQMWuFA3fEtV7l-WesyGi7D0yGnDH5A0oZt9z-gCzlGgQsgcLocfBixVm3XC3jTdU7u66-fxVDMNh6BafkrWMXntEcCNDY_YyPSj_oUDQfSVd8f_qPIeCGb-KCHJE7vXIMyQt8pcXPS5/s640/blogger-image-1803934415.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6YwUE9aJWJlsWhqGC290JkbxOYpP42JSLJ3Hxk6I1HZRenNJYhVxv8yeRAv1TtqtkXKNxUIhpZUZtzbkM5UshqxvSk5Gp2qylPy3pD8d-LKGwYvO75Y_KJywZ6I4UQ9tD0X61IQ7ayR5l/s640/blogger-image--1958452626.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6YwUE9aJWJlsWhqGC290JkbxOYpP42JSLJ3Hxk6I1HZRenNJYhVxv8yeRAv1TtqtkXKNxUIhpZUZtzbkM5UshqxvSk5Gp2qylPy3pD8d-LKGwYvO75Y_KJywZ6I4UQ9tD0X61IQ7ayR5l/s640/blogger-image--1958452626.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8fVnihNBHgjQoIgmb98pN0RJkjHaX7Hsb05Ro2jrtlCK7F-1g7XoQuP63nfBETJB96PpSaT9Nde6yF69YBxM6HEx-1lPp9Ixq_YGo3EjI-eqrAUqW1rUZEHeonN09i54lTs2rn20JmDZ/s640/blogger-image--1337829901.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig8fVnihNBHgjQoIgmb98pN0RJkjHaX7Hsb05Ro2jrtlCK7F-1g7XoQuP63nfBETJB96PpSaT9Nde6yF69YBxM6HEx-1lPp9Ixq_YGo3EjI-eqrAUqW1rUZEHeonN09i54lTs2rn20JmDZ/s640/blogger-image--1337829901.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6VV4yzxK9KN4CEvlKQZRRZHHPPjE4IsVg2wgP5ZbXTMQSrOo_i4N0bSPiHtJMxd9lmmIRkIpY_D_8IL2ImeiaI9RJBWCQVO0P_JnNul4_KPoGEy__Dqenqn1E6HJNNMNkWUOoZCDLnhe9/s640/blogger-image--1469405671.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6VV4yzxK9KN4CEvlKQZRRZHHPPjE4IsVg2wgP5ZbXTMQSrOo_i4N0bSPiHtJMxd9lmmIRkIpY_D_8IL2ImeiaI9RJBWCQVO0P_JnNul4_KPoGEy__Dqenqn1E6HJNNMNkWUOoZCDLnhe9/s640/blogger-image--1469405671.jpg" /></a></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-57061636443382067922012-08-06T14:20:00.001-07:002012-08-06T14:20:15.653-07:00the literal icing on the cake.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Because I’m not completely back in my niche of writing again, I’m still struggling with titles. <i>Y’all are just gonna have to bear with me until I can get myself together again.</i> </div>
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I am continually thankful for the friends that God has placed in my life. This was one of those weekends to celebrate my friends! Friday night was low-key as some friends and I headed to Chatty to buy decorations for a second grade class.</div>
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Saturday, I woke up with the cleaning bug. Four hours, two garbage bags, and 7 target organizers later, my bathroom looked like a brand new place! As a sidenote, thanks to Pinterest and a few too many episodes of hoarders, I reorganize my cabinets with some frequency. I never cease to be amazed at how often things expire. Also, I need people to stop pinning highly coordinated, perfectly organized cabinets/pantries/spaces on Pinterest because I can’t make myself stop trying to recreate them in my home! Sadly, I have no photographic proof, but I will say that I’ve enjoyed an immaculately clean bathroom countertop for approximately 36+ hours. Hoorah.</div>
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Saturday afternoon, I headed up to Cleveland for a birthday party, specifically the ninth birthday part of my sweet Riley Jo. I cannot believe she is nine! Nine. 365 days from TEN. I love this sweet girl and her funny heart. The way she squishes up a smile on her face when she’s being mischievous. The way she draws in her shoulders and purses her lips when she gets shy. She is such a talented softball player too. To her mom’s credit, I’ve been to a lot of birthday parties, but this was the best turnout I’d ever seen. Seriously like thirty-five kids showed up. I hope she racked up with some fun stuff. As her Mom’s best friend, my gift was cash. <i>Praise God and pass the Alexander Hamiltons</i>.</div>
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Saturday night (I know, shouldn’t I be done with this day already??), I drove back to town to have dinner with some friends. All of my close Dalton friends are teachers. Ashley was kind enough to let me get my “I wish I’d been a second grade teacher” fix this weekend. There is something deep within me that gets very excited when I see laminated sheets that need to be cut out. <i>Accountants aren’t really known for their arts and crafts skills as you can imagine.</i> After church yesterday, we worked hard and finished up Ashley’s classroom. I have always loved handwriting and was that nerdy little girl who practiced her a lot! Yesterday, I was able to write the names of her twenty-one students several times, on paw prints and owls and helper sheets, and the like. I couldn’t help but say a small prayer over each little student, praying that God uses my friend to touch their little lives. This was a good weekend for my “love tank” to get filled up. Lots of friends, a lot of quality time, and cake.</div>
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Let’s be honest, icing has a way of making things a little bit better. Or at least a little bit sweeter to swallow.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Jenn</span></span></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-60399625656133488172012-08-03T22:43:00.001-07:002012-08-03T22:43:47.706-07:00the sparkMy mom finally asked me about my date tonight. Dating can be a touchy subject with my family, if for no other reason than it seems to highlight an apparent "failure" in my life. I get defensive in convos about it, so I'm generally hesitant to discuss much. <br /><br />I have been so lucky in my life to feel "sparks" with people. (Sparks are not grand fireworks, just small flickers of something exciting.) Each of the three loves of my life all had some magnetic, some electric quality about them that I felt. I know it's corny, but so true for me. I don't base how I feel about platonic relationships on sparks. That's not realistic. (and I would have missed out on some incredible folks in my life.) But because I've felt them before, I need them again. <br /><br />I had the privilege to go on a lovely date with a very nice guy this week. He was very nice and straightforward (a refreshing change from most guys I know!), but after talking to him on the phone and in person, I felt nothing. He made it very clear that he was interested to pursue me. And despite my mother's protests, I cannot in good conscious continuing seeing someone who has feelings that I don't share. Because I have had people do that to me, and I know how it feels long term, I think it's cruel to do to others. <br /><br />But in the course of the conversation with my mom, she shared that she never once felt a spark. She just didn't want to be alone. <br /><br />My mom has raised my brother and I to be fiercely independent people, almost too much at times. So I couldn't help but be intrigued to hear her say no sparks. Ever. Nothing. Nada. <br /><br />And I don't know what that feels like. I am not looking for a warm body to fill a space in my bed. <br /><br />But I am looking for a spark. Even if it's a little one. <br /><br />JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-13551784493315334912012-08-03T12:26:00.002-07:002012-08-03T12:26:20.157-07:00... with evidence to back my story up...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Since I quit writing for a spell, there are some very hilarious things that I feel I should have shared. </div>
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I got proposed to. (I have a video that I will try to post.) At the time (this past spring), he was 16 (to date, he is 17), and I told him no strictly on the merits that the state of Georgia frowns on that via misdemeanor/felony. And that I’m old enough to be his teen mom. It should be noted that, if he were ten years older, this would be the blog of a very happily married woman. I kept my fake engagement ring as a memento though.</div>
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There is another sweet kid from church (he actually just graduated from high school, but once you turn 30, everybody under 29 is a kid) who will only refer to me as “The AMAZING Jenn Calhoun”. In what I can only describe as his version of a superhero commentator voice. <i>I am not amazing. </i>Also, I have text messages that I will try to photo to prove this.</div>
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(Sidenote: This past Wednesday night, I had a lady ask me if I would be opposed to a green card marriage to her nephew in another country? UMMMM… yes. I want a real husband, not a spouse on paper! She was visibly disappointed that I wasn’t open to the idea. Although my coworkers suggested I ask how much it was worth... (KIDDING).)</div>
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These boys make me laugh. Who knew that in my 30’s, I’d have an entourage of teenagers following me? Jennifer Lopez, I am not. What I do know, is that I have a hard time receiving compliments. I can lavish them on you with fervor, but I am not good at receiving them. But sometimes, God has a hilarious and humbling way to give you what you need, even when (and how) you wouldn’t expect it. I have told each of these sweet guys that I know without a doubt, that God is using them to pour into me for my husband. </div>
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And there’s still the issue of the date… but that’s gonna take a post of it’s own.</div>
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Somebody needs to like IT and put a ring on IT,</div>
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Love,</div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px;">Jenn</span></span></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-59316764424108921652012-08-01T13:52:00.000-07:002012-08-01T13:52:28.916-07:00exposé.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Recently, I finished a book. For me, and maybe only me, there is something deep inside that inspires me to write. I would also like to assume that, based on my lack of writing, it’s obvious that I haven’t read anything lately. Life, it happens.</div>
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The subject matter, ultimately a story of coming clean, only drives why I think I need to write. To be vulnerable. To be honest, even at the prospect of not getting any response in return. I have a date. And I’m terrified. I think I’ve finally hit that place where I’m equally as terrified to move forward as I am terrified that I’m going to stay in a state of permanent singleness. It’s the relational version of Schrodinger’s cat. (Five points if you can tell where I referenced that from.) </div>
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I took an entire year (May 31, 2011 – May 31, 2012) where I took dating completely off the table. For the first time in my life, I genuinely put it aside, completely acknowledging that there is more that I want God to do in me and through me. To be alone with just Him. At first it was easy. A sweet peace. Until a guy crept in. And flirted. And flirted so shamelessly that friends pulled me aside in bathrooms and pointed out that He. Flirted. It was all very Saved by the Bell. Except that I’m the girl that falls hard and fast and can’t move on. But of course, he can, and did. (Without a doubt, this is a perfect time to mention that he moved on by trying to ask out not one, but TWO of my friends. You are not as smooth as you think, Rico Suave. Girls talk.) And so I tried to regain my focus. And repent and just love on Jesus. And my year ended, just as seamlessly as it had begun. </div>
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And here I am, two months post commitment. A boy asked for my number. (I shudder.) He calls. (I am so terrified that I contemplate throwing up or showering instead of listening to the voicemail.) I listen to the voicemail. (I also take a shower.) I call back. I am judgmental of him based on what I heard. He asks me out. I say yes, with only hesitation in my head not my voice. I am completely freaking out. (Present tense intentional.)</div>
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I do not have an inflated image of who I am. I know I struggle with a gaggle of insecurities that would baffle most men, including all of my friends. I work tirelessly to hide them, only showing them when I have to, when the cracks are so large in my heart that I can’t hide them, or at least can’t hide them all.</div>
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I pray and I hope and I dream, but when I am presented with reality, with this reality, I can’t help but find my stomach in my throat and my knees shaking. Singleness is safe. Saying you want something and actually pursuing it are two completely different things. </div>
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What I know (and MUST accept) is that I have doled out enough advice that it’s time for me to shut up and listen to those who love me. Who will pour into me the same way I have poured into them -- with love and respect for their advice. </div>
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I have no idea what sharing this means. It’s just me being vulnerable. I guess this also probably means that I should keep you posted.</div>
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Over and out.</div>
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Jenn</div>
</span></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-75861742989357647852012-05-16T13:19:00.001-07:002012-05-16T13:19:10.637-07:00Low-ballThis past weekend I had time for some long overdue spring cleaning. My guest room closet has been taunting me since I moved it. I wish now that I had taken before pics, but alas I did not. <br /><br />Cleaning was pretty standard except that I'm a keeper of paper. I tend to hold on to paper that I deem special or important, not limited to but including birthday cards, wedding invitations and programs, and Christmas cards. While this is not inherently bad, I've lived on my own for 12 years and I'm blessed with lots of friends. On top of keeping what I'm given, I'm a repeat offender of the infrequently used journal. I have probably started 15(?) journals in the last decade never finishing them. The result is always funny to me, providing a snapshot of some thoughts I had at some random time in my life. Sometimes I talk in code to myself, and thanks to time, forget whatever code or inside joke I was referencing. Sometimes, it makes me look crazy. <br /><br />But every now and then, I run across a note that reminds me that I shouldn't doubt God and just how faithful He Is!<br /><br />In 2005, I wrote a note to God and asked Him for a husband, favor with work, and a very specific salary. What I found so crazy is that I low-balled God! I didn't trust Him to provide and bless me. It's having a cheap grace and shallow theology. I'm thankful that He saw that number, laughed in heaven, and then blessed me beyond my faith or trust in Him. <br /><br />Now, I just need to remember to trust Him in some other areas of my life!!<br /><br />XOXO, <br />JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-51193707556875309152012-05-08T20:50:00.001-07:002012-05-08T20:50:56.782-07:00SeasonsSomewhere on my butt, tattooed in invisible ink are the following words:<br /><br />He's still working on me<br />To make me what I ought to be ...<br />How loving and patient He must be<br />Cause He's still working on me.<br /><br />I am a perpetual work in progress. I'm thankful for God's grace, although I'm deep in a season where I'm reminded constantly that in the same measure I receive grace, I'm commanded to give it. <br /><br />I want to get back to blogging regularly because I miss it.<br /><br />I bought a car! This was a huge deal for me. <br /><br />I'm slowly stepping back from working with the babies. It's breaking my heart but it has to be done. <br /><br />I'm going to Asia and Australia in less than 8 weeks!!<br /><br />Craziness!<br />XOXO, <br />JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-75358457545233035862012-01-24T19:09:00.001-08:002012-01-24T19:12:13.800-08:00... What I'm listening to...I’ve not really posted a play list in almost a year. Music is still KEY to me! Right now, my heart is happy and the songs I’m listening to (I hope!) reflect that! Here is my current playlist:<br />
We Are Young – Glee Cast – I’m totally addicted to this song!<br />
We Belong – Pat Benetar – I’m a sap. I will not apologize for it either. This is a classic!<br />
I’m Not That Girl – Wicked Soundtrack – This song resonates with me for reasons I can’t articulate yet, but still – LOVE.<br />
A Drop In The Ocean – Javier Colon – such a beautiful song.<br />
Not Over You – Gavin DeGraw – for the single heart. I adore!<br />
The Only One – Joel Piper – This song just makes me happy.<br />
Lessons In Love – Fire & Ice w/ Kaskade – this is one of my new favorite running songs. Gets my heart racing!<br />
Pumped Up Kicks – Foster the People – this is not new, but I can’t bring myself to take it out of my active play list.<br />
Faster – Matt Nathanson – (I never said these were all appropriate), but I still love this song. And Matt. J<br />
I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver – this song is so hauntingly beautiful that it made me cry the first 20 times I listened to it. It’s a cover, but still… wow.<br />
We Found Love – Glee Cast – I’m a sap. What more can I say? J<br />
New York – Snow Patrol – I’ve been an open Snow Patrol hater for a while, but this song… just something about it. Repeat and repeat again.<br />
Dark Blue – Jack’s Mannequin – this song makes me want to run a marathon.<br />
Hold Me Together – Royal Tailor – I still can’t remember how I found this song, but I absolutely love it.Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-55728797805174806812012-01-23T11:18:00.001-08:002012-01-23T11:20:19.608-08:002012 Word.2012 Word. <br />
I could give you a litany of excuses as to why I haven’t posted this already, but it has more to do with what I’m posting than anything. :)<br />
My 2011 word was intentional. Although I mentioned this earlier, it’s important for me to write again, that I could have never imagined living out last year’s word like I did. If I had any idea how intentional my year would be, I don’t know that I would have meditated and prayed on that word! I’m kidding.<br />
Honestly, there were (and truthfully still are) some fractured relationships in my life. I want to heal those, but I don’t know how. But last year I was able to mend a few of those, not to the same level as before the fissure, but to a new level of respect. I actually like that better too!<br />
For the relationships that are the most precious to me, I tried to be and am still working to be more intentional with those friends. I will still fall short, but instead of beating myself up and being fearful, I’m learning to own it.<br />
What I hope to do, is not forget integrating intentional-ness into my relationships, but to add with it this year’s word:<br />
Balance.<br />
I firmly believe this is the word that scares me the most because it’s so hard to achieve. My prayer is that, through 2012, I learn exactly what balance is and am conscientious that balance in my life doesn’t look like balance in the lives of others. I do not walk in your shoes, and holding myself to any standards other than me is unfair and ridiculous.<br />
Here is my hope and prayer:<br />
Finding balance in my heart and mind. Remembering that 18 inches is the most critical and if my heart and mind aren’t in line, nothing else will be.<br />
Finding balance in my emotions. As a woman I feel like one of my greatest struggles is always “feeling”. It’s exhausting and I want to find balance (or maybe accountability?) in putting my emotions in check, primarily in scripture. God’s word is the BEST place to find balance for all my feeings!<br />
Finding balance in my daily routine. I struggle with this so bad! I know that’s silly to share, but years of living alone is not cultivating the good habits I want to exhibit.<br />
Finding balance at work. I’ve historically been all over the place in most areas of my life, but I’m really seeing the magnitude of finding balance at work. I spend most of my week with these people. I love them, but I need balance in cultivating relationship as well as getting things done. Balance in this area really looks like I need to realign my pyramid into God, ME, Family, Work, Other – instead of it’s present order.<br />
Finding balance in health. I still haven’t blogged about my health issues, so I’ll be brief. Around Thanksgiving, I had some blood work done. My dr. gave me a diagnosis as to why I’ve gained some significant weight over the last four years. Things in my body have been broke, and while I shouldn’t praise God for that, I’m thankful for HIS touch on my physician, and that she caught it. The result is that I’ve lost 20 pounds in the last month. I feel SO MUCH Better! But now with this diagnosis, I have a long way to go, but I see the light! I think it’s time to put on my running shoes again.<br />
Instead of focusing on every single area to find balance, I’m going to stop here. I think that’s where balance starts. It’s one foot in front of the other, with God at the beginning.<br />
Here goes!!!<br />
Xoxo,<br />
JennJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-47427924945688032022011-12-13T12:29:00.000-08:002011-12-13T12:29:54.849-08:0032<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: small; ">Today is my 33<sup>rd</sup> birthday… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!</span></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">So let me tell you a little bit about 32. </font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">If I had begun my 32<sup>nd</sup> year knowing what it would hold, I would have never believed it, never in a million years. I would have thrown my head back, laughed deeply (and possibly loudly) and thought I was dreaming.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">But it really happened. And it's been beautiful, and wonderful, and heartbreaking, and inspiring.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">This has been 32:</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I traveled to the other side of the world.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I realized how much my heart belongs to God alone.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I loved.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">God brought a sweet, completely unexpected family into my life that have shattered my misconceptions about what love really is, and how much I had to give away. (READ: more than I even dared to dream)</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">All my sweet Resonate babies. (They aren't babies, but I adore them to no end.)</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I sat under the stars in the most gorgeous place on earth, and just breathed deeply. </font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I held a little boy in my arms and just loved on him for no reason.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I've watched a few friends fulfill their dreams.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I cleaned out more bugs than I could have ever imagined, and realized that I would do it 10,000 times again.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I watched one of my best friends, marry her best friend, and got the chance to stand beside her. </font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">More babies have been born this year than I can count, and many more to come.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I got a diagnosis that validated that I wasn't fruit-loops, and has some AWESOME side effects.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">It sounds corny, but I did not realize how much I wasn't giving of myself, until this year presented itself. This year was less about waiting for a husband, and more about realizing that I needed the chance to love deeply, passionately, and selflessly in a capacity that I didn't even know was capable. I am so much more amazed as God's grace this year. I understand in a new light how much HE loves me, and that it's more than a calling to love others.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">When I go to write my 2012 word, I will probably rehash this point, but my 2011 was all about being intentional. I don't know how I could have possibly gotten any more intentional this year without bursting at the seams.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I am so thankful for my family that loves me just for me.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I'm thankful for friends that are life blood.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I am thankful for a church family that is more than just church.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I'm thankful for a job that helps support all my hobbies.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I am grateful and indebted to coworkers who keep me sane and push me to be better.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I am thankful for God's amazing, abundant, lavish grace and mercy. More than I can comprehend or spend in one day…</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">And is that's been 32, then 33 …. Here I go!! :</font>)</p><pre></pre></div></blockquote>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-38666016466704167352011-11-01T10:42:00.001-07:002011-11-29T09:07:20.687-08:00personal care.<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: small; ">I feel like I need to be light-hearted. I went back and read the last few posts, and it appears that I have lost my funny bone! (This is totally not the case. I make ME laugh daily, and either my coworkers are just kind, or they're laughing along with me too.)</span></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">But I'm sitting here trying to think of something that is funny, and I can think about is what happened yesterday.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I am intrigued, on a regular basis, at things we do as women, to "maintain". Regular visits, shaving, tweezing, straightening, bleaching, frosting, texturizing, shadowing, layering, coordinating, and accessorizing – all in an effort to impress somebody else, or the collective somebody's. And sometimes, we do it because it's just the thing we're supposed to do.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">(Warning – this may be TMI – you've been advised.)</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">Yesterday was a Girlie Doctor Visit day. I would honestly rather be SHOT AT than endure that visit even though it only takes like 3 minutes. Yes, I realize that most of it is preventative, but still. BLECH. I put it off as long as I can. </font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">I feel like a woman's body (especially her intimate parts) is a roadmap of sorts. Some girls are the Indy 500 track. A few are the Autobahn. Some of us are drying up like a pathway through the Sahara. Some of us are surrounded by terrible landscaping. And some of us need to be repaved.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif"> And maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't like everybody seeing my roadmap, you know?</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">Plus, I always get tickled when I have to visit this Dr. I mean, where else (besides a family holiday gathering) can all your failures in life be condensed into one room? Oh you're single? (As you're being started at the by the young guy across the room.) Oh you're childless? (As the very pregnant lady across the aisle eyes you like a holiday turkey.) (In her defense, sometimes it's hard to tell if her expression is pity or envy. Totally depends on the size of the ankles and her levels of morning sickness.) Oh, you're really childless? (Silently says the pregnant mother while her three kids under 4 run around the waiting room like banshees.) THEN… when you walk into the actual room, the nurse will ask you a litany of questions that are a balance between "Are you a whore ?" or "I've never met a 30-year old virgin ".</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">And to think… most of us do this under the guise of preventative care. I don't want any type of cancer and so I know it's good, and should be necessary. But I can't help but laugh hysterically at the set up of it all.</font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">That is until the nice doctor accidentally pokes my cervix so hard that I fly off the table. <i>Dear Really Nice Dr that I will visit again, my cervix should not be mistaken for a dart board at a pool hall. Thanks.</i></font> </p><p><font size="2" face="sans-serif">Good times I tell ya'… good times.</font></p><pre> </pre></div></blockquote>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-68013292269030919772011-10-31T20:04:00.000-07:002011-10-31T20:04:51.057-07:00renew.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What an interesting month October has been!!! Because my blogging has been so inconsistent, I have not captured all the things that started this year, and strangely changed in October.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In July, I got so overwhelmed that my body freaked out on me. Stress manifested itself in a new way, and I got thrown a curve ball. I spent the month of August trying to reign things in.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Some of those things are things I've been transparent about. I don't even want to be one of those people that writes, but writes from a hypocritical perspective. I have started to write, and promptly deleted posts after getting in, and realizing that I was preaching to the choir.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've had issues with money as far back as I can remember. Some people are gifted savers. I am not. I struggle with finances on such a ridiculous level. I've had some amazing seasons of my life where I get out of credit card debt, but only after I become deliberate daily about staying on top of things. This summer has not been one of those seasons! But I am determined to get things back on track.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lately, my friends have been nicknaming months -- Janky July, Snatchy September, Oh-no-You-Didn't October. It's funny only because it's been indicative of the month.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But I? I am taking November as New November. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One of my favorite scriptures, and one commonly referred to at the beginning of the year is: </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;"><i>"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, I'm taking November as new. I'm going to do some NEW things... like be extra aware of my finances and my relationships and my weight. I'm reminding myself daily to reNew my mind, but focusing on good things, God's word, and prayer. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And I challenge you to do the same.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In three weeks, many of us will sit down at our collective tables and reminisce about what we're thankful for... while I have so many things to be thankful for, I want more. I want New. I don't want to waste any time anticipating the new year, I want to blast through the remainder of this year with a renewed energy and zest for life. :)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Out with the old October... in with the New November.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">xoxo,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jenn</span><br />
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</span></div>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2785951125329261604.post-18739628042719876402011-10-19T13:56:00.000-07:002011-10-19T13:59:22.849-07:00changed.<blockquote type="cite"><div><br />
<font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000">I </font><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: medium; ">had a run-in with my past a few weeks ago.</span><br />
</div></blockquote><blockquote type="cite"><div><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">I do not mean that I sat down and reflected on my past. I mean, I actually had to be in the same room with him for the first time in years. It was very strange.</font> </p><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">For a fleeting moment, I thought about how well I knew that person. And then it occurred to me that I know so little about who that man is today, and how little he knows about me. </font> </p><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">It took me a long time to stop thinking about him. As women (in this type of circumstance), one of the hardest things to get over is thinking that we are forgettable. Especially when it comes to people we love, either platonically or romantically -- as though the impression (I've made) was a complete waste of time. </font> </p><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">When my world fell apart five years ago, I (mostly) opted for silence, except to those closest to me. I did blog a little but never in a way that I felt gave me any kind of closure. (For the record, closure – and the wanting thereof – is dumb.) I was broken and hurt, but in a different way. I was angry. A few months later, he emailed me and I had a chance to speak my mind if for nothing else, but to take away the fear and the shame. I no longer had to be afraid of this person. They'd made a choice that I didn't want, but had to live with anyway.</font> </p><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">When you are 2:2 in relationships, you have to determine that You are the common denominator. Admitting that to myself did not come easily, but it did come. I made decisions in the moment to step back and analyze, re-evaluate things, and not do anything drastic. I was known for constantly changing my hair. In the heat of my life changing, I made myself a 90-day promise – to not change my hair. I needed something to be constant, something I could control, and that became my thing. If in that 90 days any situation changed, then my 90 days started over. I wound up not cutting my hair for over two years. When I finally did cut my hair, it was cathartic. It was finally letting go.</font> </p><p><font size="3" face="sans-serif">So much has happened in the last five years. I cannot ever imagine [him] being a part of any of it. To think that I ever held on to [his] opinion (and held on for so long) is silly and small. When I tell people that I know what God's grace looks like, it's realizing what my life is NOT, and how blessed I am that God spared me (or closed the door in front of me) from that.</font> </p><p><font size="3" color="#4f4f4f" face="sans-serif"><i>"This is what I know: we're all a volume on the shelf at the library, a story unto ourselves, never possibly described with one word or even very accurately with thousands…we are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers. And love – it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can rip us apart or hold us together. A book is worthy of a strong embrace, but, too, you must be gentle with one. Careful in whose hands you put it. Layers, by their nature, are fragile things." – Deb Caletti</i></font></p></div></blockquote>Jennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05604517426980557480noreply@blogger.com3