10.13.2006

I thought I screwed up my blog and was very bothered by it. I figured it out, but can I tell you the angst it caused in the mean time?

I have too many stinkin' thoughts in my head! Sometimes, I frustrate me!

I'm antsy for change in my life, although I don't even know where to start, and less than two weeks ago, I had decided that where I am at is actually really good. AARRGGHH!

I have been sharing a nugget from my Beth Moore bible study lately:

Daniel 3:27 "... and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them." The nugget is this -- when we go through fires and trials in our lives, God intends for us to Not smell like smoke! My house caught fire in 1986 while my parents were at General Assembly in Atlanta. I have a baby blanket that one of my aunts made, and today, 20 years later, it still smells like smoke. It's just something that, no matter how many times it's washed, just won't go away. But God never intended for us to smell like the smoke of our sin; his blood washed us white as snow (and we smell good), and no longer smell the residuals. I want to grow in the Lord so that I don't smell like the smoke of my old life, or sins, or sins of my family. I think I still hold on to the "smoke" of my parents divorce, and God is really dealing with me about it. I believe we hold on to smoke in our lives, but continuing to share our old testimony over and over, for example sharing Too Much Information, when we only need to share the highlights or general overview. Everytime we dredge up all that history, we bring that smoke back up. It's time to stop smelling like smoke!!!

10.11.2006

Two words I do not use enough:

Extrapolate and Innocuous. I mean, seriously people, let's expand our vocabulary.

Sometimes...

I am too silly for my own good. Sometimes.

And, I'm about to take Belly Dance class #2.

10.10.2006

I deleted most of my blog from yesterday, because it was just foolish. We are told to be angry and sin not, right? I should be told to be angry and BLOG NOT. Ha ha ha.

Belly dancing is kicking my butt. This stuff is SO not easy, but definitely worth the workout. All kinds of things hurt. :)

Peace out kids!

10.09.2006

Yesterday was NCCOG’s 100 Years Celebration. The church was pretty well packed out, and there were a lot of historically important people there too. I got a little emotional during the video presentation, mostly because I am so thankful for the spiritual heritage that I have. There is a book with the same title that is a book for one of the religion minor classes at Lee. I read it. I am thankful for Camp Creek. I am thankful for Azusa Street. I am thankful for the gentleman who spent $1.00 to have the land registered for my church. His small act has ministered to people all over the world. I hope there is a jewel in his crown in heaven for that. Today, more than ever, I am proud to be a Pentecostal. I am thankful that my family was blackballed for Jesus. Their sacrifice, and it was the greatest sacrifice, changed my life and my future forever, nearly fifty years before I was born. I am thankful for Godly examples in my life, who are unashamed and unafraid of their faith, even when I have been. I am thankful for a denomination (as wild as it is) that, even though there are faults too numerous to mention, we are still dedicated to the cause of Christ. I have learned through the mistakes of others that, the denomination is not too blame, the problem is us, and our sin. The COG ain’t perfect, but who I am to blast it? The Pot or the Kettle? I am thankful for the intercessors, prayer warriors, unwavering evangelists, and little ‘ole hanky waving ladies who prayed through tough times. They saw the miracles. They saw the wind. I am even more thankful for God’s mercy. I mean, we are all really screwed up, you know? I am more unworthy of grace and mercy, and God continues to gush it out each day, brand new, as though I deserved it. I’m glad that God is God, and I am not. I am thankful that God’s word is alive, and I only have to speak it to see that.

10.03.2006 - Unerasable Marks

Happy October!

This was the devotional in my inbox this morning, and I thought it both beautiful and poinient to share:

As a sign of her undying love and faithfulness, a certain celebrity permanently tattooed the name of her beloved on her arm. This act of devotion was “permanent” until she and the love of her life broke up. Then the tattoo was promptly removed and another’s name tattooed in its place. So much for everlasting love!

Unfaithfulness abounds. Selfishness defines our society. Relationships are seen as an expendable part of life. The world is littered with broken hearts and shattered relationships left in the wake of deceit and rejection.

When someone we love turns away from us, we’re left wondering how a love that seemed so true, turned into such a lie. Why didn’t we see it coming? Rejection spawns a downward spiral into grief and despair, filled with more lies that we are worthless and unlovable. Once we start believing these lies we set ourselves up for more rejection. It’s a dangerous cycle in which many find themselves.

At the depth of our pain, in the darkest moment of the night, God speaks words of truth into our hearts: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV).

Though others may forget their promises to us, God will not. To make sure we know He’s serious, God made two eternally permanent marks of His faithful love. First, in Isaiah 49:16 God tells us, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

Get that! We’re not written in a Sharpie marker, not a semi-permanent henna tattoo that washes off in a week, not even a “permanent” full color tattoo that can be removed. But God has engraved us on His palm. That’s a mark that can’t be erased.

Then, God made His second mark of faithfulness with the blood of Jesus. Ephesians 2:13, “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.” The cross is our reminder of that love.

Though many may fall around you, you are cherished and loved by the Almighty God. Today He holds your sweet face in His hands, nail scarred hands that are engraved with your name, and reminds you that He chose you and will never leave you.

My Prayer for Today:
Heavenly Father, You are faithful and true. Thank you for never changing and for loving me with an eternal love. Help me to love others with the same type of love. Forgive my selfishness and the times I have not modeled Your love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Weekend

“Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart, for I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16 NKJ

Was in NYC this weekend to work. I helped my brother clean his old apartment and get his new one together. God is merciful, and good to us when we don't deserve it. Even with furniture. Never underestimate what God will do. :)

I'm exhausted, I gained four pounds, and my legs are really sore. JM's apartment is a five story walk up with 64 stairs one way. I think I probably walked 1000 stairs this weekend, Easy. I did have fun though, and he lives in a great neighborhood.

I wanted to be very pensive yesterday on the plane, but I had no paper or pen. :( I am continually amazed at how the Lord works in our lives. A year ago, I was terrified to fly. Yesterday, I was still apprehensive, but it was very different. On the plane yesterday, I did think about the day that Jesus comes back and splits the Eastern sky. I have a whole new perspective on that now,... to know that he's going to roll back the clouds like he did the Red Sea. It's just awesome. God is just way cooler than words.

And where have I been about Stephen Baldwin? Not only did he get saved, but he pimped out some vehicle and drives around now telling people about Jesus. Wow.

Today is also my Mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Mamie!