05.31.2007

God is God. Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to.– Elisabeth Elliot

Today stuff...

I liked today's quote and scripture, so I thought I would include it for posterity:

"The essence of pleasure is spontaneity."
Germaine Greer

"Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11 : 24

Junk..

I'm going to get my hair colored today. I haven't had a good color in almost FIVE months. That's just nuts. I was looking at my hair yesterday, and realized that I have a natural white streak on the left side of my head. It made me think about that AWFUL hair color disaster from last year where I looked like Cruelle Deville with red hair. Almost two months ago, I took a survey of my guy friends to see what they thought about my hair. They were all very nice, but obviously hesitant to offer input because they know me better than that. And in spite of all of their suggestions, I'm pretty confident that I'm going to do my own thing. I'll try to post a picture tonight. I am cutting off about two inches because I have never liked my layers (really), and now my hair looks stringy. Oh, and cutting bangs back was a BAD decision. I look like a pirate in every picture I take, or if I straighten my bangs, they manage to curl up and just look ridiculous. I will be very glad when they grow back out. In a year or two, I may take the courageous step and just cut my hair off again... but for now, I'm really enjoying the length.

I am going to a wedding this weekend, so I'm a little excited about that. Maybe. Maybe not. A friend from UGA is coming in town, and I get to see her for a little bit, so that is kind of exciting too. My friend G. called a few weeks ago, and I believe that she and her husband have opened their pool, so there is a higher than normal possibility that I may go visit them. Yes, it is using people, but as long as I take food, they don't mind at all.

My eyes are finally starting to get better, and I can actually Kinda breathe today. So, that's definitely a good thing! I really tore up my feet this weekend; my brother and I walked all over creation. In an attempt to prevent further damage, I just stayed on the couch last night and chilled. Walking is not as painful as yesterday, but it's not cakewalk, let me assure.

I'm trying to get caught up at work (which is way more of a chore than I realized!), but it's taking some time. HOPEFULLY (fingers crossed), I will have my desk cleared by Friday. We start month end on Monday, and I hate having a big mess on my desk. Contrary to popular belief, I am OCD about things.

When..

Did it become NOT OKAY to be who you are? I see a precious friend struggling with outside criticism of who she is and, I am saddened because it is who she has ALWAYS been. When in the world did it become not okay to be herself? When did it become uncooth or inappropriate or less than (insert your own adjective) for her to do things her way? She is a celebrator of life and love and people for who they are, but for reasons I cannot begin to understand, it's suddenly seemingly impossible for them to do the same for her. What in the world?

I'm a principle fighter, and I would be totally okay at telling these people the errors of their ways. Simply on her behalf. My sweet friend would probably be mortified to know that I would gladly tell her criticizers how it is, but I'm almost to the point that I may do so anyway?? If I were to send correspondence to these people, it would probably be similar to the following:

Dear Ignorant Bliss,

I'm writing to you on behalf of my (unnamed) friend. You know this woman is wonderful, spontaneous, eccentric, and full of life. However, are you aware of how you are MIStreating her??? She has accepted and embraced you for who you are. She cares for you and celebrates in all that you are, what you think you are, and most of what you are not. She challenges you to be more alive. You enjoy her company and love her exceptional personality without reservation.

But for some reason, you've chosen now to be everything you profess not to be. WHAT? You delight more in offering YOUR opinion for YOUR OWN happiness than worrying about what is best for her and what makes her happy? Why? What leads you to believe that what makes YOU happy would make anybody else happy? Have you suddenly become the litmus test for appropriateness? Might I advise you to seriously rethink your position here. I seriously doubt you will lose a friend. But, I am confident that you will lose the respect that this precious person has given you, undoubtedly undeservingly.

Sincerely,
- jlc -

Pics from the last few weeks...

My brain is a jumbled mess this morning as I try to write an entry. I have a thousand things to say, and am at a loss to put them together in a coherent form. So, how ‘bout a bulleted list?

• Friday night, I took a cab from the airport to my brother’s apartment. I was on the phone with a friend of mine and she asked what I was doing. So, I told her, “I’m in a cab on the way to meet John Mark”. Her (priceless) response, “BY YOURSELF?”. (Yes, I’m an adult now, so I should be able to take a cab ride solo and be O-kay. Very funny!)
• Finally got to go to the Statue of Liberty.
• Went to church Sunday, and my brother willingly agreed to go to the singles class. It was not what he expected, but I am so happy that he went. This also let to a conversation in the airport yesterday to remind him that I am the big sister, and sometimes I actually do know better.
• Saw Waitress this weekend with Keri Russell. I was stunned to hear about Adrienne Shelley (I mean, where have I been???), but must honestly say that this was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a REALLY long time. And I wanted to beat Jeremy Sisto up mid-movie for his role. (P.S. Yay for my fav Nathan Fillion! He will always be One Life to Live’s Joey Buchanan in my heart!)
• More reading and reflecting on the plane with the book, amidst programming a playlist for the screen on the seat in front of me. Delta is officially stepping up their “A-game” when you can program a music playlist that includes Def Leppard and the soundtrack from High School Musical.
• David Caruso is now on my refrigerator. I purchased CSI:Miami magnets and a t-shirt. That’s right… I slept with David Caruso last night without any shame.
• I’m now the proud owner of a Price is Right mug. Don’t be hatin’.
• I got dehydrated TWICE this weekend because JM and I walked so much.
• I did damage to my feet too. Not as bad as Thanksgiving ’04, but pretty darn close. I hope I don’t have to run after anything today or for the next three days, because that won’t be happening.
• Can anybody explain to me why, at the South Terminal at Atlanta’s Hartsfield Airport, you can only access floors 1, 3, and 4 from the elevator? Do you remember when Bono counted 1, 2, 3, 14 in Vertigo? Is this the same kind of situation????? And why, pray tell, do I manage to foolishly park on Level 2???
• I believe that I, ALONE, keep Kleenex and Kimberly-Clark in business. I use more Kleenexes than anyone should EVER have to.
• My eyes are still not well. I think I’m going to self-diagnose and keep myself in glasses for a few more days.
• I’m totally addicted to Burger King’s Chicken Biscuit.

I think that’s all for now. I have a lot more to say, but I’ll work on getting it together later. There’s work to be done. Happy Tuesday Interpeeps.

Just meet me North... of the sky...

Isn’t this a gorgeous picture? I just love it. I couldn’t help but grab my camera and take a picture. I'm borrowing a line from East to West. I took the picture in the plane last night. Honestly, that's the first time I've used a camera on a plane since I went to D.C. in '87.

two hours on a plane...

Right now, it's about 10:00 am, and I'm sitting in my brother's apartment. I've run errands this morning, dropped off laundry, been to the store, and I love it.

I could TOTALLY be a New Yorker.

Last night on the plane, I started re-reading a book I read a few years ago. It's called Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. After reading just a few pages, I came to the humbling realization that I am not the same woman that read that book two years ago.

I am changed.

I am not saying that to be conceited or arrogant, but I remember how humbling it was to read that book the first time, and how it made me feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I remember the challenge alone of the title, how trust is to the core one of the hardest things we will ever deal with, and that THE truth, God's truth, is something that can be so difficult to grasp, but so vital and crucial to what being a believer is.

Maybe the realization I came to one the plane was that, in spite of everything, I do trust. I have to trust with reckless abandon to everything I know to be stable and in control, because my perception of control is not God's. God's ways are not my ways. That is an absolute. And yet, I still trust.

"Wallowing in shame, remorse, self-hatred, and guilt over real or imagined failings in our past lives betrays a distrust in the love of God. It shows that we have not accepted the acceptance of Jesus Christ and thus have rejected the total sufficiency of his redeeming work. Preoccupation with our past sins, present weaknesses, and character defects gets our emotions churning in self-destructive ways, closes us within the mighty citadel of self, and preempts the presence of a compassionate God." Brennan Manning

"Trust is our gift back to God, and he finds it so enchanting that Jesus died for the love of it." Brennan Manning

Leavin'... on a jet plane..

But I'll be back. :)

Happy Memorial Day!

See... I told you!

Go Here

And y'all pray that I find me a Good Man who loves Jesus AND enjoys serving his country, o-kay??

Various and unsundries... Part Deux

• I've lost my phone. If you have called or texted me in the last four days, I am not stuck-up, I'm PHONELESS (well... at least the 423 one).
• I will call/text/return messages when I get a replacement
• I got turned down for one of the jobs I applied for, and I'm very frustrated.
• I've contacted my HR department to find out what the deal-io is.
• My friend at work, who found out she had stage 4 Melanoma last year, who's now in remission, who found out the other day that she had fluid on her brain -- she found out it's been there all along. So, it's not new. PRAISE THE LORD.
• I learned alot about me yesterday that I didn't expect, and actually stood up for myself.

"Everything we do affects other people." Luke Ford

UPDATE: On the J.O.B. front...

Networking is a VERY powerful tool that should not ever be underestimated. Long story really short, we had a lunch today as a result of a SS project that I helped work on last year. At lunch, as would be expected, we were talking about all the jobs and such.

Then it came out that, the first job I applied for, (we'll call it THE BIG ONE), well, I'm only one of a few candidates left in the pool. The guy that everyone thought was a dead ringer withdrew his name from eligibility. The guy in the office next to me withdrew his name for eligibility. Another guy cannot apply because of a transfer less than 12 months ago. So, indeed I am in need of prayers. There is talk to moving to a 4 day work week (4 ten-hour shifts), and I would be okay with that too. There is talk of a few other changes, but knowing that, I'm still in the running, is a strange, but important comfort.

God is still in the Working Business:

• working all things for my good
• working things for HIS Glory
• working in His time
• working according His Will
• working with my sometimes crappy broken vessel

He's still working, if for nothing else, on me. And I love it.

Today's scripture

I just love this verse. Especially during times that are hard, and difficult, and we don't understand what in the HooHaa is going on.

I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?
Jeremiah 32 : 27

You should be shouting, because we KNOW the answer to that rhetorical question!!

Intuition

I have it.

I doubt it MOST OF THE TIME. Because deep down, I know I'm usually right.

With that said, I think my crush has a crush on one of my good friends. OH! LAWDY! HOLY! MOLY! do ya'll realize how this will change things?? I'm contemplating asking him about it too. 'Cause I need to know. I'm not going to stand in the way of anyone's happiness, but I AM NOT going to have it rubbed in my face again. Those days are over thanks to You-Know-Who.

Speaking of, I'm going to a wedding in a few weeks where the person I secretly want to fall off the face of the earth and their life partner, who I also want to fall off the face of the earth, will be in attendance. I've given early warning to a friend of mine that if a friend of theirs starts something, then we'll be having a brawl. Because the days of Me sitting there and just 'takin' it' are O.V.E.R. So, if I make the news for pressing assault charges, y'all will know why.

Other than that DRAMA, I had a nice weekend.

Today, I went to the bathroom (you were dying to know that, weren't you?), and a coworker who's been battling skin cancer got a bad report that she has fluid on her brain. And so, in one of those moments where I least expected it, I got to share and pray with this dear lady.

And my friend R. is coming to town tonight. :) I haven't seen him in over two years. Craziness.

And... I'm going to NYC this weekend. And it's Fleet Week too! (That means over 3000 Sailors will be landing in and moving around New York City.) So, if I come back married, you've been warned about that too.

I MEAN... COULD LIFE BE ANY MORE EXCITING???!!!???

My parachute

Thought this would be a nice little story to share...
Enjoy!

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk.

You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

:D

I had to walk next door at work to do a few things. A gentleman (who's asked me out before) called me "Doll", and it made my day.

I would never date him in a million years, but it was a very sweet gesture.

Reality TV

I sent an email out this morning. I thought I should post it too!

If I Was On A Reality TV Show...

If I was on THE AMAZING RACE... I would take my friend Chris T. because 1) He’s hot, and we’d totally need viewer ratings, and 2) He’s a natural outdoors and would probably be willing do to most anything. And he’s a Firefighter.

If I was on THE CONTENDER... I would get TKO’d in the first round. :)

If I was on AMERICAN IDOL... I would ask Randy if there’s another word for “Pitchy”. I would also ask them why they would pick me for the top 12 and then attempt to demolish my self esteem on national television in front of 30 million viewers. ‘Cause inquiring minds wanna know.

If I was on SURVIVOR... I would lose a ton of weight because I don’t eat coconut, fish, or bugs. I would also have the greasiest, nappiest hair on record, because mine gets oily after a day, much less a few days on a deserted island.

If I was on DANCING WITH THE STARS... Y’all would be impressed to see how flexible I really am. I would be slightly out of my element though, because I can say with confidence that I would have never worn that little clothing in public or that many sequins on purpose.

If I was on WHAT NOT TO WEAR... If any of you would like to nominate me, please do. I know I’ve got fashion issues, and I’m not afraid to admit it. I would be thankful for $5K to get a new wardrobe too. Plus, I like Stacey & Clinton.

If I was on THE BIGGEST LOSER... I would be BEYOND ecstatic since I’ve auditioned for this show TWICE. I would have to confess to Bob and million of viewers that I have been in love with him since season 1, and that I want to have his beautiful, fit, gorgeous babies. OH, and after ten weeks with Bob, I would be so hot, your TV’s would sizzle!!!!

If I was on BIG BROTHER... I would probably get voted off first.

If I was on THE BACHELOR... If I ever wind up on The Bachelor, would y’all shoot me please???

If I was on THE REAL WORLD... I would spend most of my time CRYING in the confessional. Ha Ha Ha.

If I was on ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?... I would smoke those fifth graders. Plus, I would have to tell Jeff that I worked at KRGR too!!!

If I was on THE NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR... All of America would see that I secretly wanted to be the love child of Julia Child and Martha Stewart. Because I love providing imaginary commentary (to my imaginary studio audience) while I cook.

If I was on PROJECT RUNWAY... I would be able to do funky stuff with my hair and not worry about the world judging me. I think my friend C. would beat me on this show… ‘cause she knows how to bring it on the runway!

Confirmation that I'm not crazy...

I haven't shared (nor did I have any intention to share) what's kind of being going on with me lately.

But, you know, God has to just show out and all, and then I get excited, can't contain it, and well... here we are.

God is good, isn't he? Let me rephrase that: GOD IS GOOD, AIN'T HE? He is so marvelous. Just absa-stinkin'-lootly-fabulous. And he rocks my socks off. (Literally. I am barefoot as I type this.)

I think you all know (unless you read from a disassociated frame of reference) that I have been in a funk, to say the least, as of late. But then there comes a jolt of "Get it together" juice from the Holy Spirit, and I wind up back to where I started originally.

The last few weeks have been busy, at work, in my personal life, and with friends. And I've gone to bed each night with a heaviness about stuff -- different stuff based on the day. And each morning, after awakening to New Mercies :), I find small confirmations that: 1) I'm not crazy, and 2) God is in the business of confirmation.

And I just love it. And I want to tell EVERYBODY.

So, I'm telling y'all!

The reality is that the actual details don't matter, but I'm excited to see that God is moving and shaking, even when I'm not moving and shaking like I oughta be. He's still God. On my bathroom wall, I have several quotes. I'm kinda of a quote junkie, if you will. But last night, something clicked, something in one of those quotes that I have read 100+ times got in my brain, and saturated my heart and is marinating in my spirit.

"Dullness, not doubt, is the strongest enemy of faith, just as indifference, not hate, is the strongest enemy of love." Peter Kreeft

And thus the realization that I've been DULL. A few of you are snickering now; I know who you are and God does too. (LOL!) Spiritually speaking, I've been dull. Kinda like the Taj Mahal. It's dirty y'all. DIRTY. And the best way to clean it is to pack it in mud, let it soak for two weeks, and then wash the mud off. The mud will take the grime that has coated that edifice and turned it yellow.

And that's what the Holy Spirit has been doing in me, and longs to do in each of us. God knows that we are dirty. (Insert anecdoctes relating sin to dirt HERE.) But the Holy Spirit has been packing us in mud, (No wonder we've been uncomfortable), to loosen up the grime that has covered our hearts and live.

But the water that washes all of that away is coming. It is here. So get ready to get wet and be clean. And not dull anymore.

Things that make you go HHMMmmm...

So, I know you have been sitting on pins and needles since my last update. You should be. Furthermore, you should move the P&N and have a seat, because I have no doubt that reading what I’m about to write will drop you on your butt if you’re not already there.

Are you sitting yet?

My mother’s pastor asked me to preach a service.

(I’m going to give you a few more seconds of silence to get out all the stifled laughter or wipe the horror off of your face.)

Let me start by giving you the rundown…

Friday night – I drove to my Mom’s house. (Shocker and all with it being Mother’s day weekend, right?) I didn’t actually get there until 1:30 AM Saturday morning because I didn’t leave until late and then hit reconstruction traffic in Chattanooga. (I. Do. Not. Like. Three. Lanes. being. Shut. Down. To. One. for! the! sake! of! repaving! one! lane!) So, I got home in the early morning, and went straight to bed. (I’m learning that I don’t enjoy driving late anymore; it’s totally showing my age!) Saturday morning, my mom woke me up, we ran a few errands, and then cleaned. My mom had to work, so she left around 5, and then I got suckered into a mother/daughter banquet with my aunts and grandmother. So, I had to scramble and find something to wear and then head to the church. The pastor likes me (as a person I mean) fairly well, but I know that I can be intense, so I’m willing to give anybody the benefit of the doubt. He came and was joking with me about myspace. Let me backup and say that several months ago, he preached a sermon about how bad myspace was and how bad the internet was. I COMPLETELY disagreed with his sermon simply because, while I think anything can be used for evil (Yeah, I can’t believe I wrote that either). But I’m a fan of relevance in that, if you aren’t aware of what people are into, then you lose the opportunity of being relevant and ministering the gospel to them. I want to say officially that relevance does not necessarily mean participation. I am cognitive of a drug addict or porn addict’s weaknesses, but I choose to understand them to reach the people as opposed to participating/using/watching the weaknesses.

I’m veering far from the topic here. I will be more than happy to give my myspace sermon again at a future date. Probably after the aforementioned speaking engagement too.

A sermon? Are you kidding? So yesterday, the pastor preached an awesome sermon about Numbers 6, and literally blessed, via anointing oil and prayer, every single person in the congregation yesterday. After service, he let me know he was serious about the preaching thing, and that while I probably felt the most inadequate (only if it were Pharisees in the Pulpit Sunday), then that was an indication from the Holy Spirit to get my junk straight and get my words together.

Alas, I am still in a state of shock. Because I’m not a big fan of Women Preachers, you know.

And I am the last person who should get up and preach to the masses.

But I’m thankful that this man sees something in me that I don’t let a lot of other folks know about. And that’s all I can tell you.

Oh, and my heart is so encouraged.

Quotes and such...

"When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge. " Proverbs 14 : 32

"Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for." Lawrence Block

“Life is as a jelly roll. When you think you have it eaten, it comes out the other end. ” - Christopher P. Buonanno

"For now we see through a glass dimly; but then face to face: Now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known."

"Open the doors of opportunity to talent and virtue and they will do themselves justice, and property will not be in bad hands." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Mama's, Don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys"

This song has been stuck in my head pretty much all day. And it's made me smile. :)

I just want to give a shout out to God for only making a week seven days, because I don't know what I'd do if there were eight days. I am SO thankful it's Friday, and even more so, that I get to go visit my Mama this weekend. I can't wait! I'm probably going to sleep alot (still battling some effects of all this medicine), but at least I'll get to be in the same house with her, and frankly, we both just sleep better.

I'm excited to get to see my brother in two weeks.... I just can't wait! Someone special to me blessed me the other day so that I will be able to go up there and visit. Thank you Lord!!

With that said, I haven't had a good inspirational post lately. Yes, it's very reflective of what's going on in my life, but at the same time is not indicative of what's going on in my heart. I've been too busy (haven't MADE time to share some of the stuff that I've read/written/heard), but by no means do I feel like my heart is suffering. Quite the contrary, God presence and control is more obvious than ever in a few areas of my life.

Prior to, during, and after my friend's mother's death, the Lord kept laying on people's heart to share John 11 (The story of Lazarus), specifically verse 6: "Yes when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was for two days more." I'm not going to give you too much detail about the story, (because I'm a huge proponent that you will gain the most by opening the book by yourself), but I wanted to share some relevance in my life.

Jesus loved Lazarus and his two sisters. They were very close. With the friends that hang out at my house on a frequent basis, I feel like Jesus could just drop in anytime, love on his friends, and then head out to do more stuff. (This happens at my house more than three times a week, and I love it!) But in this passage, when Jesus heard that Laz was sick, he stayed.

HE STAYED WHERE HE WAS FOR TWO MORE DAYS.

I know this, God will take control of a situation to get the greatest glory, whether or not I like or agree with what He is doing. If for no other reason than He's God and I'm not. (Kinda like when your Mom says "Because I'm the Mama and I said so".) But most importantly, because He has creative control and sees the big picture of our lives. He will get the glory, and we will get the greatest good, whether that good is easy and smooth, or requires us to be purified a bit.

I shared all that to say that, life is not easy, and for some, especially lately, you are left scratching your head wondering what in the world is going on. To you I say, He Stayed. He stayed so that when He appears, you will see Him, in His fully glory. But He IS coming, we are not forgotten, so get ready.

"Drop a bomb...

on your Mom" was the gimmick running on the radio this morning. The girl that won finally told her Mom that she got married the day before her wedding. And the Mom was so mad she hung up on her daughter on the radio. It was priceless, and maybe repeated again in the future.... cross your fingers.

Mother's day is upon us, and is one of my more favorite holidays. To quote the illustrious Randy Jackson, "Let me break it down for ya' DAWG", but my Mom is forrizzle the coolest woman/Mother/friend Ever. I realize that some of ya'll are thinking that your Mothers are special, and I'm sure they are, but there is No one like Shirley. NOBODY. And I love her, and a day to celebrate her excites my heart! I will try to get together a photomontage this weekend (because me and Shirl have had some style issues over the years that will no doubt provide a healthy ab workout for some of you from laughing so hard). Here's a few pics from March with JM to get to started... :)

Wisdom Wednesday

It's 11:00, and I've done a lot of stuff, but nothing important. Yikes. I've been shirking on a lot of things in my personal prayer time, and can we all just say aloud that it's catching up? Last night when the guys were at the house, I talked about some junk in my life, and I think I stunned them, without ever the intention to do so. I've reiterated (to the people in my life) my complete responsibility for my words and actions. I still don't think it's sinking in.

It's funny this morning that, I was thinking that today is going to be a happy day. I have to believe in Happy days, you know? And then my daily devo arrives with the title: The Happy File, and how we need to store memories, thoughts, scriptures, etc. for those times when life is not going as smoothly as we'd like, and we need to be reminded to be happy.

So, I propose Wisdom Wednesdays. I wish I had the bloggy/html skills to create a button for this, but I don't, so bear with me until I can find somebody who will create one for me. Wisdom Wednesdays need to be an opportunity to impart something, a quote, scripture, picture, anything that can inspire and (please excuse my overuse of this word) impartion of wisdom. I think that King Solomon should be my starting point for this one, don't you?

"Many are the plans in a (wo)man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Prov 19:21

American Idol Part Deux

I just want to say that AI is terrible.

And every commentary think so as well.

See America, aren't you sad you sent Phil home?

Last night, I had two grown men at my house. We were watching ballroom dancing. They were critiquing everything. And it was hysterical.

And my medicine, well, one of the four I'm on, it's making me not sleep well. I'm supposed to be at work at 8:00. I woke up at 8:05 this morning. And I got sunburned at a 6:30 softball game because one of the meds makes me four times more sensetive to sunlight. Oi Vey.

Lots more to blog about,... later!

Have you ever had your heart feel like it's beating out of your chest?

I did last night. There was a memorial service for my friend D.'s Mom last night. One of those memorial services where they want family and friends to get up and talk about the deceased.

I haven't been to one of those in a long time. LONG time.

Even though I've been to so many funerals. I never cease to be weirded out by death. For those of us (outsiders) the process of mourning/grieving is relatively short (a week or two), while the process for the family is much longer, and involves taking care of details that the uninvolved never had to sort through.

Not to mention I have what some might consider bizarre views about death. Here are a few for your reading pleasure:

1. Death is not the end. It is a culmination of life on earth, but the beginning of life (in the loosest possible term) in eternity.
2. I am a concrete believer that God heals. He made a covenant with believers, and He cannot break that covenant. He is our healer. Period. Location, however, is totally in his hands. So -- if God doesn't heal people on earth, then it's merely a circumstance of location, because you can bet the walk/dance/skip into Glory with a glorified, whole, healed body (again a loose term because I can't imagine my soul having the same skin confines in eternity as it does on earth).
3. Funerals should also include humor. I, being a ridiculously serious person, think this is imperative. Funerals that only shoot for massive waterworks are just wrong.
4. Please remember that these are MY thoughts, but I think of death as necessary. I believe that God will get the glory no matter what, and when He (Yes, I think of God in male terms (Father, etc)) chooses for one to die and another to live, then I Have to Believe that there is purpose in that. The pastor who spoke (after the rest of us spoke) reiterated that point based on perspective. We can't see the big picture, ergo, we can't see the big purpose. There have been people that I've known to die, that their ENTIRE FAMILY gets saved as a result of their death. In other cases, it's forced the family to mature and not hang on to a parent/loved one. I can't expound on that point very well; I only pray you understand what I mean. We can't live off of our parents coattails and prayers forever. We are admonished to mature spiritually, and in some cases, the death of a parent is followed by a desperation and seeking for God to be real and present in the live of a survivor. And it's truly a beautiful thing. God so longs for our dependence on ONLY Him.

But, alas my point for blogging. Wouldn't you know that in the midst of that service, early on as well, that God would start dealing with me about saying something? Me? Seriously? I was praying hardcore for alot of people to get up, because I didn't want to. I mean, my crush was there. (I know,... feel the liberty to take a shot the next time you see me.) Seriously, a LOT of people I know where there. And then came the violent beating of my heart. I could hear it pounding in my ears. And then one of the kids got up, and reiterated that they really wanted people to share. And the beating got faster, and harder, and louder, and I knew I was going to have to get up or pass out in the pew to avoid this.

So, I did.

I was trying to put together words as my heart was going nuts, and although I didn't get to see even 2/3rds of what I wanted, I wanted that whole family to know how much I loved them and their Mom. I can only pray that they received it like that as well.

But I have a feeling that this won't be the last time.

Kierkegaard

"Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward." Soren Kierkegaard

Update

Thanks to a shot in my behinee, and under my tongue, I've rejoined the ranks of the nosebreathers.

Life is better when you can breathe and talk at the same time. :)

The music when they put you on hold...

for my ENT was a Mexican techno-remix of some 80's song and was cracking me up today. It's a movie themesong, but I can't remember the movie. I will try to find out later. Seriously, it's hysterical.

But not the reason I'm calling. I'm having to call the DR because I can't breathe. and my ears are popping. and I had major hot flashes last night. (Which I realize my ENT can't handle, but I thought I'd throw that in there too.) So, it's been a rough two days.

I have severe allergies. If you don't have allergies, or just minor ones, then you need to get on your knees and shout to the Heavens that God spared you from all of this. The best I can assess, I am allergic to a friend's dog. Yes, I'm allergic to dogs. (My roommate's dog is a hypo-allergenic breed, so I'm not allergic to Harley.) And cats. And horses, and gerbils, and alot of other creatures that have hair. And grass. And dust. And pollen. And OH LORD so much more. My grandmother went with me to have my first allergy test, and even though it's been nine years, she still swears that they almost killed me adminstering all those shots. Long story really shortened, let's just say that I woke up tucked under the mattress of my daybed two days after that test, hallucinating and running a fever of 103.5. It was a very rough experience.

When I was at the beach, I could breathe. Anybody sensing an urgency to move to a saltier climate? YES! LORD!

So... my appointment is at 11. I am going to have to have a shot, maybe two. Probably by some sweet nurse who's only been out of nursing school for two years, and will make me cry.

Oi Vey.

In other news, the burial for my friend's mother was yesterday. The interment (which I've probably been to at least 50 in my lifetime), only last five minutes. I can't recall one being that brief. Please keep the family in your prayers as the next few weeks undoubtedly hold the responsibilities of going though personal effects, taking care of financial matters, and just being able to make it through the day.

More randomness... I had company in this weekend. And I hope that you all read this, but Oh! LAWDY! I'm pooped. And one of my phone chargers is awol. Hopefully, I just misplaced it. My friends make me laugh, because together we are just a hot mess! I can't count how many times one of us would say something goofy, and the rest of us would just look and shake our heads. Or laugh so hard we couldn't breathe. I'm so thankful for my friends. And I wanna give a shout out to M.C. Hendizzle for her mad rapping skills. She is da bomb diggity. I know there is more than I wanted to write down so that I would remember it, but alas, I forgot to write it down. Oh yeah... Be the Crown. And don't let that Bear gitcha.

We did see SpiderMan 3, and it was good, but here's my favorite kinda movie. The kind that the plot gets wrapped up in the one movie, and doesn't have to be held over for the seqeul, or third, or fourth. But Peter Parker turned Pimp in this movie, and I loved it!

P.S. I'm going to NYC for Memorial Day. :) Yaya!!!!!

Of life, and death...

This week, I've been so excited with the birth of "Belle" and "HW". I am still so excited for my friends K. and H. and their expanded families!

But this morning, I was reminded that life is truly precious, and that we are not promised tomorrow. My friend D. called to tell me that her mother, Lois, who had been battling Mesothelioma (lung cancer resulting from exposure to asbestos) went to be with Jesus during the night. And thus, my heart aches for my friend.

Being a pastor's daughter, I cannot begin to count the funerals I have attended, or the countless hours spent preparing food and visiting the families of those who have lost loved ones. The daunting task begins for D.'s family to make arrangements. Those are arrangements that none of us ever want to make. On top of the loss, D.'s youngest sister was scheduled to graduate from college in the morning. So, if you could remember her and her family in your prayers during the coming days, I would really appreciate it.

I have company at my house, and when I got the phone call early this morning, I woke almost every one up. A. and M. and I said a prayer this morning, and while I was praying, I rejoiced in knowing that Lois is not in pain anymore. This week alone, she's been on oxygen, forced to have a fluid line because of dehydration, and had to be put on valium to relieve pain. For the last several weeks she's also been on pain patches just to be able to make it through the day.

But this morning, she stepped into Glory without a single pain in her body or cancer cell in her lung. And though my heart breaks at her absence here in earth, I know that heaven rejoiced with her grand entrance into heaven. And I rejoice too. I will never understand God's ways, but eternity with Jesus without pain or suffering is better than anything this earth can provide.

So, for the one life that left us, I count it the greatest privilege to know the two new little lives that joined us. And God is So good.

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere." Psalm 84:10a

A WHOLE lotta birthin' going on!

I want to congratulate my friend H. on the birth of her beautiful baby boy, HW who weighed in at 12 pounds, 3 oz, 20 1/2 inches long.

She is OFFICIALLY my new hero. She deserves a standing ovation and purple heart for that. But I am so glad that HW has arrived and is healthy! God is so good.

Daniel 2: 20-23

“Praise be to the name of the God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes then. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king.” Daniel 2: 20-23

On the J.O.B. front...

I have another interview tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.

Any prayers are appreciated!!

Love y'all!

True Dat.

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."

John F. Kennedy

Wordless Wednesday

In my own skin again

That title may seem strange, but OH! how glad I am to feel like myself again. A few days ago, I got a little perspective in the last place I would ever expect. (This is going to sound foolish, so consider yourself warned.) I was browsing through a few blogs, and hit a wikipedia link, and realized that a celebrity (whose name I will never mention for the shame that would surely ensue) is younger than I am. And it made me realize that I've really got to get my act together! And I really enjoy unexpected perspective. It's good livin', folks.

On to other things... this weekend, my Mom will be in NYC. Without me. :( She and my two aunts are going to see the city (it will be my AR & AS's first times in NYC), and visit JM. And I.WANT.TO.GO. However, I will be having a girls' weekend with dear friends in CleveVeg and the ATL. And I'm geniunely excited about that! We just saw each other in February, but it is critically important to get together regularly, so that's what we're doing. And it looks like we'll be having a big group for dinner on Friday night. I can't wait!

Last night, I got to go see Belle. She is too cute! She's not my kid, so I'm not going to get a picture up until her mom has time to post on her own myspace. (I figure that's the least I could do, right?) But, she is a cutie-patootie baby! I just love that she's not so small that you feel like you could break her. And for the record, I will almost assuredly have these kind of babies. BIG ONES.

My friend H. is probably being prepped right now for her new baby to make his grand entrance into the world! I'm so happy for her and can't wait to see her!

I realize that reality TV is kinda vapid, but my buddy Phil did a GREAT! JOB! LAST! NIGHT!. (I have totally stolen BooMama's exaggerated punctuation. And without shame, too.) I am proud of Phil because I know that he and his family love the Lord, and that God is going to use him to bless so many others. Plus, he makes me so proud of my Alma Mater! Yay Phil!

We have two cute little kittens at my house if anyone wants them. My roommate found them, and couldn't stand the thought of two tabby kittens starving or getting killed at the house. I can't blame her, but my allergies are on the fritz, so we gotta find Tigger and Tiger a home before my nasal cavaties REALLY start rebelling. And my roomie's dog, Harley, is eat up with the green-eyed monster. It's the funniest thing to watch.

I'm at a loss for profound deep words today, but I did tell my boss to "fake it 'til she could make it". Although I'm sure there is some deep theological term that says that much sweeter, it is so true that we have to press on through a difficult and/or frustrating period in our lives.

OOHHH... I have some hopefully very exciting news coming soon. Stay Tuned!

Mean Girls

There is a song by that title on the Sugarland CD. I think the song is kind of stupid, but after an email I got this morning, it's appropriate.

PREFACE: I'm taking a backseat to sensetive blogging today. Stop reading if you don't like what I have to say. Or,... better yet... POST A COMMENT. I am not perfect. I don't profess to be ever. I have to ask for forgiveness DAILY.

I don't normally have mean posts. I get frustrated; I'm human. I get aggravated; I'm human. I do foolish things; I'm human. When I get angry, I lash out; I'm human. But I really try HARD not to be a mean girl, because I know that God will get me. He will find some way to humble me, privately or publicly -- God doesn't care.

With that said, I've had a recent situation with someone who used to be in my life. Things didn't work out, THANK! GOD! ALMIGHTY! PRAISE! JEHOVAH! HALLELUJAH! I really thought the situation was resolved, until I posted an entry last Tuesday, simply expressing concerns and thoughts. And then I got an email from the last person on earth that I thought would ever email me because I thought they had better sense than that. And then, in a bizarre turn of events, I responded. And then all HELL broke loose.

And then I went on vacation.

And then I come back to some FOOLISH emails. For the record, I gave the folks involved the benefit of the doubt. But I've just decided that there are people who are malicious and mean. AND THEY'RE IN MINISTRY!?! (And having been a preacher's kid MY ENTIRE LIFE, I reserve the right to say that unashamedly.)

I know this much -- I can't do anything to change people. My life is an ever-constant process of growth and change, and it's good, hard at times, but growth is and should always be good. (Unless of course, it's your waist size, and then you need to check on that.) LET ME STRESS THAT I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS EVERY DAY, OFTEN MORE THAN ONCE!

However, if you WILLINGLY do something that you know in your gut is not kosher, and your friends (those people who are close to you and you keep in regular contact with) are advising you to reconsider, or at least reassess a situation, but you do it anyway, then I'm at a loss for sympathy for you. Furthermore, if you don't deal with stuff, then YOUR CHILDREN will. THAT'S SCRIPTURAL. I've been on that road, and finally got the hint. God is the redeemer of our lives. He will cover us, and our foolishness, but that doesn't mean He will Bless it to the fullest, because it's not perfect will.

And... what comes around, goes around. You can call it Karma. You can call it what you want, or pretend to ignore it. But if you don't deal with it, then it will come back and deal with you.

Mean Girls make Mean Women.

Challenge!

Thanks to BooMama, I found Tales from the Scales: An internet weightloss challenge.

At work, we've been doing a Biggest Loser challenge for well over a year now, but I love blog challenges, and will incorporate my BL weight/info into this!

I have set up a private blog with my weight stuff on it, to get ready for the challenge. If you'd like to join with me, drop me a comment or email, and I'll email you the link to my weight blog!

"Miss Scah-lett..."

"I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies!" (Gone with the Wind)

Mammy (Hattie McDaniel's character) might not, but my good friends do! My friend K. gave birth to a BIG baby girl this morning, G.B.S "Belle", who entered the world with the following stats:

Weight: 9 lbs, 7 oz
Length: 23 inches long

You did not misread that either. 23 INCHES LONG. A miniscule inch shy of TWO FEET. Wowsa.

My friend K. is only 5'2", so I've decided that she all but gave birth to a half-grown basketball player. Maybe Belle can grow up and play professionally so K. and her husband can retire in their 40's.

Do it right.

I like today's quote:

"You only live once." James Brown