If I even knew where to start all this, I would be so much better!!
The last three months have been so revealing for me. To many of you, I have been unnecessarily (and some even perceived as disrespectfully) silent. Totally not my intention. I've just been focused.
I've had to learn a lot about me. Acknowledging that I can have a defeated attitude when I want to. There's a spiritual parallel here, but for time's sake (and the fact that I am EXHAUSTED), I'm going to skip that tonight.
But here's the Real Deal: Today, this lovely sixteenth day of October, I ran a 5k. Mind you, snails passed me, but I stayed in motion the entire time. I ran with another lady from my church, who'd had gall bladder surgery in September no less. In my mind, she was my fellow miner. She was someone that I wasn't going to leave. Running alone is not something I really love, it's something I find myself having to do and know that I need too, but still, not something I enjoy. I knew this morning, from the get-go, without having to be told, that I needed to stay with her, and that she would stay with me. It was so weird and awesome at the same time.
When we got to the last .10 of a mile, she broke down bawling. (And for reasons I don't want to uncover, I did not. SHOCKER!)
Here's what else I know: I am not a pushover. I am not less than. I deserve God's best for me, and regardless of what I do to screw things up at times, I know God is faithful. He ran right alongside me this morning. He is my comfort and present help. His grace will sustain me, and his mercy engages me. His love is everlasting and his promises are good!
I ran this race, and I can run a lot of others. That doesn't mean I can quit training; it doesn't mean I'll place first or last. It means I CAN run them. It means I CAN finish.
and I will.