Thursday, April 23, 2009
My parents divorced when my brother and I were 7 and 9 (respectively). My mother threatened numerous times to leave us in various places after John Mark and I got on her nerves. Being the divorcee of a minister with a 9-year old (going on 30) and a 7-year old boy (let's just acknowledge that for what it is) would be enough to have any grown woman committed. How my mother managed through those difficult years, with ridicule from church people, frustration from family, dealing with her own turmoil of a crumbling marriage, and of course, raising JM and I, is a true miracle in and of itself.
But... it also made me think of a little incident that happened two days after I got my driver's license. My birthday is in December, and was 3 days before we got out for Christmas break. Getting my license was a huge deal! It mean independence! It meant freedom! It meant growing up! Unfortunately, it also meant that I was now the second official chauffeur. I had to take my brothers to school. ARG. I was supposed to get my grandmother's car (a baby blue 1989 Buick LeSabre), but it needed to be serviced, so I had to wait until the weekend. In the meantime, I drove my Mom's Navy Blue 1987 Chevrolet Caprice, AKA, the Big Blue Tank. (Seems I have a theme with big cars, no?) Well, being the official grown-up, I was super-duper excited to drive to school, but my fare... was a PUNK. He wanted to mess with the radio. I was a super-prude, so I listened to NOTHING but Christian music (J93.3!), but John Mark wanted to hear the Devil's music. Sufficed to say, there was biting on the way home from school that first day over the radio. Did I mention how mature we were?
I was determined to win the second round! The ride is was pretty easy, except that JM wanted to leave his breakfast trash in my car instead of throwing it away. School... well I have NO idea what transpired that day. I did, however, stay until most of the cars left the parking lot because the big car? It was hard to park and backout easily. If you know me now, you know that I still stink at parking. Some things never change. We headed home, and before we were even out of the parking lot, the Radio Wars started again. It felt like the longest ride home. I would set the station; he would change it. I would change it back; he would change it again. Over and over and OVER again. I told him that I wished he could walk home or ride the BUS! I would change it back; he would change it again.
When we got to our subdivision, I stopped the car and told him to GET OUT. He could walk the rest of the 1/2 mile home. I was furious, and I was going to prove my point.
As I started to pull away, I heard a loud thud come from under the car. My heart hit my knees, and my feet slammed on the brakes. I jumped out of the car to find my brother laying on the road.
In that moment, I thought I had killed him. All of the trouble of the radio faded away instantly at the thoughts that my pettiness had hurt JM. He came to, and started crying, and Billy and I loaded him in the car. We drove the 1/2 mile home in silence, then carried him from the car to his bed.
I was panic-stricken. I immediately started calling my mother, and in those days, getting a hold of her was no easy task. After 20 minutes of pacing the house, checking on JM, and dialing my mother, I finally got her.
Tearfully and hysterically, I told her that I hit JM with the car. I was crying and was loud and didn't ever want to drive again. I needed her to come home immediately and take him to the E.R. (becuase I wasn't driving him there), and punish me to the fullest extent.
And about that time, John Mark picked up on another phone and started laughing. Maniacally laughing about how it was all it was a prank.
I have never wanted to kill him as badly as I did then.
As it turns out, it was all a big joke that he and Billy schemed up, with me as the punch line and recipient.
But in lieu of the story of this lady, I can sympathize with her COMPLETELY.
First: Don't just show up at my house at 7:00 in the morning. I will get whatever weapon necessary and use it on you until I determine you are not 1) crazy, or 2) an intruder.
Secondly: Don't call me at 6:30 in the morning. Unless we are leaving for a roadtrip at 6:00am and I'm late, do you know what I assume when you call me that early??? That someone is DEAD. I don't want to chat, or hear about your night, or think about you really. 6:30 is either me + sweet dreams or me + Jesus. You are not included.
This PSA was brought to you by people who called me at 7:15a on Tuesday and 6:38a this morning.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
the next few weeks are crazy busy:
- 4/25 - CF walk in Chatty, birthday party for roomie
- 5/2 - JM in WP. YAY! Early Mother's Day celebration. Wedding.
- 5/9 - Wedding.
- 5/16 - OFF. PTL.
- 5/23 - NYC. WOO!
- 5/27 - NKOTB in the ATL
Man... that's a lot of capital letters. sheesh.
On the flip side, all my bloggy snooping led me to a blog that has "reviewed" fabric stores in NYC. I think I blogged about this yesterday, but I'm still superduper excited about it. All the ideas I've been swirling around in my head are about to come to some fruition! I cut out the fabric to make an apron last night, and I'm really excited!
I'm incredibly unmotivated at work.
I don't have the self confidence it takes to burst into a room believing that a party starts only when I arrive.
I do have the self esteem to know that you should never take boys back under the guise that either of you has changed. If you have to say it, you invalidate it. Change should be evident, it doesn't have to be spoken. And I'd go so far as to say that the girl was the weak one anyway.
I have the common sense to google things instead of calling my friends.
I'm trying not to write to 'hurt anyone's feelings' but I will. Therefore, I choose to keep on writing.
Sometimes, life sucks. But God is still God, even in the sucky times, and if we'd focus on him, we wouldn't be able to focus on the things that discourage us as much. (I.E., if we spent more time in HIS word, we'd have spent less time wallowing in our sorrow.)
You should ALWAYS clap for soldiers in an airport.
30 days have September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31 except for February.
Fall Back, Spring Forward.
Strapless, sleeveless dresses are NOT appropriate for funerals. I don't care if you're burying Uncle Ernie in the middle of the Mohave Desert in the dead of summer. Have some courtesy for the ones who are living.
I judge people by their hands and their eyes.
Be original in context. You may not like me, but I love me, and that's okay.
I will never be a "Pink" girl. Seeing all that pink and princess stuff makes me queasy sometimes. And I have NO idea why. My Mom and I were discussing this, and neither of us gets why. I think it's cute for my friends who are, but I'm not and never will be.
The older (and somewhat more cynical I get), the more cleavage annoys me.
"The minute I heard my first love story, i started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Cleveland/Bradley Co. population (as of Census) - 37,192
Dalton/Whitfield Co. population (as of Census) - 33,045
West Point population (as of Census) - 3,382
HI, my name is Jennifer. I am LITERALLY from Small Town, America.
My town... is itty bitty. Fortunately, the area I'm from is a conglomeration of three towns... Valley, Alabama, Lanett, Alabama, and West Point, Georgia - -an area that locals refer to as "The Valley". (That's right folks, I cross the state line like 100 times when I'm home. It's just the way it is.) Valley is a merger of five mill communities into one, and Lanett was a merge of two families (Lanier & Bennett). And Yes, I've spent extensive time at the "Libry" to know these things. The three towns together have approximately 20,000 peeps but only a handful are from "The Point".
But... my town is working it's way up! The first American Kia plant is actually finished about 2.5 miles from where my Mom and Stepfather live, and life in The Point... it's changing. Everytime I go home, something is new, or land is completely cleared, or some new shopping something has popped up. The entire downtown was renovated, and before that sounds illustrious... it was just A STREET. LIKE 6 BLOCKS. But hey, progress is progress, right?
Well I was ridiculously excited to call my brother this morning and tell him that West Point? MADE THE NEW YORK TIMES.
You can read the article here. I should mention, the Mayor, he's also a dentist. :) And his Dad and Granddad live in the same subdivision as my Mom. And the Chief of police's daughter tried to teach me to drive a stickshift. And we say "Why come?" and "How come?" and you run into people in Givorn's, or at THE WalMart, and people still get their hair done, and we have Merl's diner, and The Chicken Stop, and lots of other really good local stuff.
And before you tell me that you're from a small town, check the census and then we'll talk.
In response to my title, this weekend, I found out the town my grandparents live in, which is maybe 6 miles from my Mom, was completely wiped off the map due to local corruption. We may only have a handful of folks, but you'd better believe we've got some SCANDAL!
I broke out my sewing machine!
I can actually sense the disappointment coming from you.
But... I'm determined to get my own etsy store off the ground, so I worked on a few things! And now, I'm all intrigued about sewing. Wishing I'd learned to do this years ago, when you know, I could have really done a lot of things... like say,... IN COLLEGE. Ah... regrets.
Better late than never, huh?
Monday, April 20, 2009
But just to show that I HAVE A HEART DEEP IN MY CHEST, I thought I'd share this little snipit. Yesterday, I had to cross train new guy on a report, and we started talking about one of my bosses. With the saddest countenance, he mentioned that this boss in particular was rude and disrespectful to him, and y'all, it broke my heart. I mean, I know I've griped (both here and IRL) about not wanting him here, but it made me sad that he's just NOW getting it. He's not a bad guy, he's just 1) a guy and 2) a little goofy.
And I don't if enough can be done to salvage things. And it makes me sad for him.
At least this is how I feel today.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
If I were to get married by my birthday, I'd be 91 before I ever achieve that.
They are 77 and 79, and happy as larks.
Okay, so #4 is made up, but that would be cool, right?
I wrote my thousandth post and realized that I could ACTUALLY say I'd written a thousand things, and honestly, it freaked me out.
Words that I've written that will never be removed from the Internet (truly), and they could all come back on me. I have no idea why that post nearly set me over the edge, but I decided I needed some kinda change. Some kinda fresh start. And, for those of you who have been kind enough to email me, No, I didn't delete everything forever really. I just removed them off of here.
After three years, I needed to stop rereading my history and start writing a better future.
A brighter future that was all mine and not me living through other people's drama.
Let's face it... THAT is crazy.
On top of that, I took a few days off to go to my mom's and just relax. I also learned how to use a sewing machine and actually made a skirt.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED THAT MAKES ME.
Although, I hope the capitalization conveys what I'm trying to say. I felt, complete. Er, completely domesticated. Oops... that involves marriage. Whatever. I could reincarnate myself as Laura Ingalls, although I know NOTHING about Laura, so I'd have to read up. Or I could just make you a skirt too. WHATEVER GET OFF MY CASE GAH.
While at home, two different friends lost two different parents, one guy a Mom, one guy his Dad, and my heart is broken into pieces because you know what... WE'RE NOT PROMISED TOMORROW. And I know the media wants to say that Christian America is dead, but we still need Jesus. All of us. Everyday. Literally in Every way.
Also, on an unrelated note, I'm still working out the kinks of finding my newer blog voice, so bear with me.
All my love,
Friday, April 17, 2009
I read the entire book (which is thin anyway) in one sitting. Reading the words was both beautiful and heartbreaking. I found myself over and over again sympathizing with the writers because in six words, you could actually get an entire story. I cried and I gasped and I laughed out loud. And then, for a few, I sat in silence because I felt the pain.
And it's made me think about my six word story. What would I write?
You? Idiot. Me? Strong. Us? NEVER.
I'm glad it didn't work out.
I'm the diamond You can't have.
I won't compromise for you. Ever.
I thank God everyday for you.
Thank You for saving my life.
It was God that changed me.
I hate your Drama. Go away.
Too bad You're Only a Dream.
I wish you'd lived for me.
Clarity comes at your expense. Oops.
or maybe just...
My Life is Bigger Than This.
Thought I'd be married by 30.
What would you say? What is your Six Word Story???
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The downside to working in one state and living in another is that, unless you're willing to pay for the RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED SOFTWARE that does support partial & non-residents, you have to file Old School.
I did file my federal in January, but I kept forgetting about this one, even though it's been calculated since then.
Anybody else headed to the post office?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I dream all the time, and have good dreams where I have understood concepts and feelings. And I dream in vivid color too (some people don't!).
Last night, I married one of my (present) guy friends, and we were happy. We had two daughters, and after we had the second one, he and his mother decided that I was unfit and tried to take the two girls away from me. I remember having to go to his mother's house to get the girls a few times. He would just take them and not tell me where he was going.
I had to file for divorce in the dream and figure out how to keep my kids. And then I woke up.
WOW. It really freaked me out! Not to mention that, in spite of the fact that the friend I married is cute in real life, this definitely puts a damper on ever dating him. Scary stuff.
Monday, April 13, 2009
I CANNOT STAND the word: CUZ. My cousins refer to me as Cuz (both over the internet/email and in person) and it literally makes my skin crawl. I know I'm from Alabama, but the whole world does not need to know you're a redneck. I'm just sayin'.
And they won!!
Ceremony to Honor Chipper and some other guy...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
And you can take that ever how you like.
As I get ready for this Resurrection Sunday, I still think about the sacrifice that Jesus made in dying for our sins. But what blows my mind the most... is that HE. GOT. UP.
I own Gene Edwards The Day I was Crucified, and he gives a chilling and beautiful perspective of Jesus final three days in his human body. I literally cried the entire time I read the book, from Jesus' thoughts in the garden, having to drink the cup of iniquity for me, and rising up out of that grave.
And the real story is incredible. I can't help but write, with tears, how overwhelming and indescribable and unfathomable it is that Jesus knew me before I was born, and how much I needed his grace, his love, his forgiveness, and his sacrifice.
For me... HE GOT UP.
For my sin... HE GOT UP.
For all my junk... HE GOT UP.
For my flawed humanity... HE GOT UP.
For my sick, depraved world... HE GOT UP.
For you... HE GOT UP.
For all of us... HE GOT UP.
It's more than just dying on the cross, it was the taking the keys to Death, Hell, and the Grave (and depression and anxiety and fear and hurt and anger and sadness and loss and a LOT of other thingS), and THE GETTING UP.
And it was proving that nothing, no power can defeat him or keep him down. And HE has given us that power... that authority that if we ask, in HIS name, it can be done.
All because HE. GOT. UP.
"On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' " Then they remembered his words." Luke 24:1-8
Friday, April 10, 2009
- Anonymous -
Thursday, April 9, 2009
(You can catch them in sequence here.)
I've been slacking on this because I forgot to upload the most recently purchased songs to my iPod.
- 1, 2, 3, 4 - Plain White T's -- I heard this on the radio a few weeks ago, and can't help but love this sweet love song.
- That's not my name - The Ting Tings -- I can't believe I'm putting this on here, because I hated it when I saw them on Jimmy Fallon, but this song gets stuck in your head like those CheckIntoCash commercials.
- Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts -- I love RF... I've mentioned that a thousand times before. Gary has a way of hitting notes that hit your heart... you know? This song should probably drive me to drink, but I find myself just singing louder in the car.
- Poker Face - Lady GaGa -- I. Can't. Help. It. I like it, even as ridiculous as it is.
- Dancing Shoes - Gavin DeGraw -- I really like this song, but it was the title that caught my eye.
- I only have eyes for you - The Flamingos -- I have no idea how old this song is, but it's definitely a classic, and made a visit in my repetoire this week! (It's from one of my favorite movies... "Don't tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead".)
- Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen -- REALLY? DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?
- Sweet and Low - Augustana -- Found this by accident. I get caught up in the melody.
- Give me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath -- Love the lyrics.... give me your eyes, give me your arms, give me your heart...
- Free to be me - Francesca Battistelli -- this is for my friend Crystal (who couldn't remember the artist)... I'm thankful that in Christ we ARE free to be us!
- All we are - Matt Nathanson -- this was on DWTS this week, and I love it, even if it's older.
What are you listening to? Leave a link or comment!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Anybody else experiencing this?
That is until the last few months. I have discovered in my age that, people volunteer you for civic stuff. And it's actually a lot of fun!
Last year was the year of United Way for me, including a lovely trip to our local boys & girls club, as well as the incident where one of the Meals on Wheels recipients thought I was driving my car into their house. In November, I was asked to be a part of my sorority's Alumni Association as a board member, and I can't even begin to tell what fun and what a privilege that's been, as well as the work involved. And of course, I'm finally getting more active with CFF, including some events that NONE of my friends know about because I like keeping some things on the DL.
In the last few weeks, I've been invited to sit on an alumni committee/panel (of another sort), I've received formal invitations to 3 luncheons, and was voluntold to write a column in a newsletter.
All the while I am saving to buy a house (THERE I SAID IT), talking to bankers, regaining my life from my bout with the plague, attempting to start a business, navigate through month end close, act like a lady, encourage two women in my life who REALLY need it right now, try not to destroy one or both of my cells phones, successfully use a straightening iron so I don't look like a hag, embrace my red lipstick, not mame New Guy, show people that I AM domesticated, contact friends whose calls I've not returned in months, plan a reunion, and sleep on occassion.
I'd like to take this opportunity to inform the powers that be that I actually do have a life, but am grateful for every chance to serve my community.
And I'd also like World Peace.
Sequins and Sunshine,
Miss Jennifer Calhoun
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
HOW ABOUT THOSE TARHEELS!!!!??!!!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
High ambitions, no?
I dreamed of my own office, letterhead and business cards with my business/married/professional name, an assistant who would get me coffee in an exquisite mug, an endless office supply closeet, my own classroom with massive chalkboard and unlimited supply of chalk, or getting to wear really cool scrubs all the time.
And somehow, I fell into a drastically different third options.
I really thought those women who sat at front desks and punched in stuff on keyboards with their long beautiful nails were cool.
I don't even like coffee. Chalk makes my hands gross and dry. Clearly, I was also dellusional at a young age. Where the heck were my parents?
What I didn't dream of were uncomfortable power suits, bosses that were nasty and coworkers that were even nastier. I sure as heck didn't dream of my current commute. I somehow fantasized that the corporate life would be hard but awesome and that I would have this really great man to come home to every night who'd let me throw my heels off, order me chinese, and we'd watch tv together until we fell asleep.
I miss being so naive. And I really wish that man would be at my house when I get home tonight. Although... my roommate may be a little weirded out.
And then, in life's cruel joke, I find myself very much in reality with a printer printing almost invisible ink, in need of anew toner.
Just now, I was walking from the copy/production room with an old toner in one hand and a new toner (in the box) in the other.
And while I was daydreaming, somehow managed to drop the old toner on the floor.
And strangely enough... it's just now as glamorous as I imagined. And what's ever weirder, as I sit and type in my office with my long painted fingernails, is that's it's different but better. And I kinda like my life... toner and all.
In another twist of fate, I prayed for bosoms and fingernails as a kid too... and I got those. Too bad I didn't have the common sense to pray for flat abs.
I almost started this post with 'Hello Darling', but then realized how ridiculous that sounds. How are you? Long time no blog, right?
Well peeps, I blame the Pneumonia brain. (It's like Chemo Brain without the cancer)... you know where you get into a medicine induced fog where your reflexes and responses don't work right, you constantly forget things, and your temperment is all over the place.
THIS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HORMONES, Thank you.
Anywhoo... Friday was the first time in over two weeks where I haven't felt Fuzzy. It's been weird, and strange, and I have been SisterMeanandCrabby and not nice all rolled into one. Bad Stuff! Let me introduce you to the starting lineup of characters who are helping me get better everyday...
I sound like a walking pharmacy with all these bottles and pills clanging and clacking in my purse these days, but whatever keeps the pnuemonia away is worth a try!
This weekend (finally feeling better) I ventured out to Lee Day (briefly for some DZTAA stuff), took a trip to the junk store (total waste of time), and then Target to buy a table. I'm venturing into some a *hopefully* successful new business, and needed a table to accommodate my needs. Plus, those grey tubs sitting in my room are unsightly! My roomie helped me put the table together, and I got a good bit of stuff organized yesterday... but there is so much more to go!!! Hopefully, I'll have some "stuff" to post/sell by the weekend, but keep your fingers crossed! Yesterday, I woke up in a lot of pain (it happens), but I was able to make a batch of cakepops. Let me tell you... those little things are tough! I forgot to take a picture of them, and will get one soon. (I did buy edible markers, and drew faces on five of them last night... SO cute!)
It's my busy time at work... so I'm gonna run, but hopefully I'll be back to my regular posting self soon. OoH! I forgot to mention this is post #983... I've got something special planned for post #1000!!!!!!
In the mean time,... go check out this video posted by my friend Josh. It's AWESOME!!!!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I'm pretty sure the Lord is about to dish up a long overdue slice of humble pie, and I'd rather that be done in private, you know.
I am still having CRAZY dreams lately, and have noticed some discoloration on my teeth that I can only assume is a result of the meds I took. Since I've taken none of them before. I've got an appointment to meet with the dentist to see if any of this is reversible or correctible quickly.
I tweeted last night something to the effect of: Men and Women CANNOT be "just friends", and decided after a series of ridiculous commenters who did not ask WHERE my tweet originated, took it down. I'm sticking to my story, but only in context of the situations at hand. I'm not looking to exile men and women to separate parts of the country. Not to mention one of the commenters was THE REASON I tweeted at all.
My top desk drawer at work is filled with:
a bag of Buttered Popcorn Jelly Belly Beans (favs)
a random pair of earrings (red, gaudy)
Strawberry Shortcake Lip balm (in the sliding tin)
7 1964 Pennies that I'm saving for a project
a 3 and a 0 from my 30th birthday cake
6 Church of God Christian Education service pins
2 different hole punches
and a First Aid Kit.
WHO DO I THINK I AM? McGYVER???
I'm jammin' to:
- Beautiful Beautiful, Francesca Batistelli
- Better than her, Matisse
- Came to my rescue, Hillsong United
- Crushcrushcrush, Paramore
- Everything Glee, Glee Cast
- Half of my heart, John Mayer
- I never told you, Colbie Caillat
- Marry you, Glee Cast
- Mighty to Save, Hillsong United
- Misery, Maroon 5
- Touch, Nathasha Bedingfield
Books (sadly I lost many of them!!)
- ► 2012 (19)
- ► 2011 (30)
- Mom, I think I killed John Mark.
- PSA: Early Morning Manners
- Just wanted to wish a very Happy Birthday to my R...
- Happy Earth Day!
- "The minute I heard my first love story, i started...
- One town gets wiped away, but mine made the NYT!!
- fruits of my labor
- The continuing adventures of "New Guy"
- forgot to mention
- me again.
- A fresh start.
- Six Word Memoirs
- thoughts on 30.
- I'm headed to send in my GA state tax return.The d...
- Over the last ten months or so, my Mom and Stepdad...
- I'm pretty sure I'll be giving up caffeine after 5...
- Things I Do Not Care for:
- Braves Game
- HE. GOT. UP.
- Thursday iPod
- Just keepin' it real here...
- I may have to give up blogging to accommodate my s...
- Snow, How 'Bout Them Tarheels, and Cakepops
- UNC, Cake, Snow.
- Somehow it's not as glamorous now,...
- Various & Unsundry: Part TwoTwo
- ▼ April (32)
- ► 2008 (329)
- ► 2007 (333)