Thursday, October 28, 2010

will the circle be unbroken?

Oh lawdy-mercy, there is so much happening with me these days!!!  Unfortunately, none of that translates to (me) making it upstairs in my hizzy to blog.  Sadness!!  Please accept my apologies for these random points I desperately need me make!

1) I'm just now getting around to responding to your comments from the 5K.  Talk about feelin' the love.  I am overwhelmed!!  It's still weird to me that I ran the whole thing, and even weirder that my body is revolting.  I have gained 6 pounds in a week and a half.  BOO.  Regardless, I am scheduled to run another 5K this Saturday and next Saturday. I am keeping this up!!

2) If you've not been following the arrogance of the blogger from Marie Claire, here are a few links:  Here and  here.  This is SO OFFENSIVE that I don't even know what to say.  I'm boycotting Marie Claire, and I'm asking you, whether you're a Double Zero or a 52, to do the same. 

As an aside, if you think fat girls are disgusting here are a few suggestions 1) stop reading my blog or 2) email me your address and a few of my fat friends and I will be happy to have a "come to Jesus meeting" with you in a parking lot.  That's just how I feel.  Jen Lancaster's response was respectable, in case you'd like to read it here.   I don't care how big (or small) your behind is -- that should not be the litmus test to judge people by, anymore than skin color, race, religion, or height.

3) For Halloween, my friends and I have a costume party.  We have for the last four years now.   This year, I was beyond psyched to dress up as Sue Sylvester.  Sadly, I cannot find a plain red track suit in my size in Eastern Tennessee or North Georgia.  Either there are going to be a LOT of Sue's, or the track suit manufacturers (I'm talking to you Adidas!!) missed their chance to really boost sales.   Buncha 'tards.  I have decided (thanks to my Mom) on another equally recognizable costume.  I will post pictures after the party so as not to give away my superfun costume.  Also, this year's costume does not involve facial hair, thank the Lord.

4) On Monday (my last day searching for a costume), I got really frustrated.  I couldn't even find a red jogging suit to modify for a costume, so I decided to try on boots.  My calves are too big.  (P.S. I really like my legs... always have, and this hasn't been a problem in years!!)  I was discouraged, so I decided to drown my sorrows and do something I've never done.  I bought myself a real piece of jewelry.

I walked into a store, and saw something I immediately liked.  It's part of the Everlon collection (although I cannot find it online).  I had a ring that I bought at American Eagle ten years ago.  It was a simple silver band that I adored.  I paid $6 for it.  I wore it all the time.  Shortly after I started training this summer, my ring disappeared and my finger has been lonely!  Out of disappointment for the boots not fitting, no costume in sight, and the loss of my favorite ring, I splurged. 

And I love the symbolism. 

My single heart has been very heavy the last few weeks.  I am blessed (I'll be the first to tell you that), but my biological clock is starting to tick louder, and my heart has ached.  It's frustrating and I've been thinking about some heavy decisions for my life.  I know that God is woven so intricately into my life that not trusting Him is not an option for me.  Doubting him (or not fully remembering his promises) however, is a part of my own frail humanity.  I get sad.  I get disappointed.  I wish.  You know? 

But this ring, this everloop with the Lord, is my reminder that He is in control of my life.  He sees the desires of my heart, and while I can come up with 1001 ways to "help" Him, I know (down deep) that he doesn't need my help.  He needs my doubt to vanish, and my questions to quiet. 

and so I hold on to that.

5)  A few months ago (during my "I shall read everything I can get my hands on" phase), Mimi asked me to be a contributor to a book blog.  For reasons that have nothing to do with her (or anyone else) that incident somehow turned into my reading Kryptonite and I've been unable to pick up a book... that is, until this weekend. (I'm so sorry Mimi!!  Y'all make a point to stop by the book review blog!!)

Getting ready to fly home, I grabbed Hoda Kotb's book -- Hoda -- at the LaGuardia airport.  I never watch the fourth hour of the Today show, and really couldn't tell you anything about Hoda until now, but I. COULDN'T. PUT. THIS. BOOK. DOWN.  I absolutely loved it!  And it was a challenge to women too.

I leave you with something from her book:

"Don't hog your journey.  It's not just for you.  Think of how many people you could have helped on the plane ride home.  You can take your business, shove it deep in your pockets, and take it to your grave.  Or you could help someone.  It's your choice."

Why I blog (although not on such a consistent basis anymore) is because I want my journey to matter.  It matters to me, I think it matters to God, and I want to it matter to someone else.  I need that random affirmation that I matter.  My guess is that you do too.  So don't hog your journey.  Keep sharing your lives with people around -- the good, the not so good, the heartbreaking, and the hilarious -- because you never know when somebody will need it.  Sometimes even you.



Anonymous said...

LOVE those last thoughts.

Sorry about the costume but glad you came up with something! Sounds like an amazing time with your friends.

That ring is gorgeous!! What a beautiful reminder...and I know how that single thing can be sometimes. I definitely need the reminder to keep trusting (I got a ring for my birthday that is my reminder!)

Hope you have a FUN weekend!

slommler said...

I love your new is beautiful and a wonderful reminder. Looking forward to seeing your new and improved costume!! Bet it is fabulous!!
I am going as the Bride of Frankenstein!! Cool, huh?
Got the hair and it will be hard to sit in a car with it on! Ha!

Gina said...

Can't wait to see the costume. :O) Don't have anywhere to dress up for. We're having a pajama/horror movie party tonight. So I guess I'm going as a sleepy person.
Love the ring! What a great idea. I wear a plain silver ring that says "hope" on it for pretty much the same reason.

Thanks for the encouragement as well. I need to be a better blogger!

Stephanie said...

Jenn, I have been away from blogs for too long and was so happy to read your post today! So excited about your 5k and as always, enjoy your witty insight. Happy Halloween! Can't wait to see pics from your costume party!

Staci said...

Love the ring! And you know I'm right there with you. Some days (or months) are better than others. But it's the bad ones that scream the loudest and hurt the worst.

Hang in there girl!

Mimi said...

Great to hear your updates! I have not been reading at all either. Weird how it goes in cycles isn't it.