Monday, April 30, 2007

Sand in my soul...

Oh Interpeeps… how I wish I had a laptop?!? I wanted to blog so bad on Saturday morning that I almost couldn’t stand it!

For those of you who don't read past this entry, I went to Florida with my best friend, her sister, and two two-year olds (cousins), that are six days apart.

It was the best vacation I’ve ever had. :)

Thursday was a little rainy, but we were able to get out on the beach after the rain subsided. The sand felt so good in between my toes! Friday was fabulous! The water was cold, I won’t lie, but it was so wonderful to be there! I got sunburnt within two hours. (FYI – Sunburnt is not actually a word, but I didn’t get just medium well, I was Well Done! I even sunburnt my ankles!) Friday we ate at Pineapple Willy’s, which was just a half a mile from the condo we stayed in. It was B.E.A.UTIFUL! (Coincidentally, our condo was less then 500 feet from Club LaVela, and NO, I didn't stop by for a visit!) Saturday just brought more sun, and better beach toys. Yes, I love to build sandcastles!! I was however, in the presence of a two-year old sand castle destructor, so they last only a short time. Sunday, we packed up, and then got back in the ocean. I actually rode over halfway home with a bathing suit on. It was absolutely wonderful!

There were some interesting things:
1) Two year olds will bicker over anything. Let me reiterate ANYTHING. There was a Tonka fire truck that I wanted to anoint and throw out the window in the name of Jesus!
2) Sand is seriously good for your feet. I can’t stress that point enough. I got the best pedicure this weekend too. Nature is better than a nail salon, and it’s free!
3) This weekend was just plain ‘ole therapy for my soul. I have had a MEGA bad attitude lately, and this was what I needed.
4) Flip flops and plastic sharks are good for whippings.
5) I think I said the phrase “poo poo in the potty” like 100 times this weekend. I seriously doubt I’ve used that phrase in over a year.
6) I did not want to come back
7) I’m ready to go again.
8) Soon.

I really couldn’t sleep this weekend; I’m not sure if it was the excitement, or what. I woke up around 6:45 every day, only to realize that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. Saturday morning, I decided to get up and go walk on the beach, and that’s when I decided, it’s imperative that I move somewhere with sand, and ocean, and peace. I had a good prayer time on the beach, and read a little from my Ortberg book about forgiveness and anger.

(**Lots has been happening in my little world, and don’t you know that I would read the section about forgiveness and anger after I’d already let my temper erupt? I’ll hit that topic later.**)

Like I said, it was just good to be out there. I cried and prayed, and took a few picture of the sand to remember what the Holy Spirit was speaking to my heart. I needed a vacation for my body, but more than anything, for my soul.

I even teared up a little bit yesterday when I got back into town because coming back made me heartsick. I know the Lord births different plans in our hearts. I’ve been privileged during the last ten years or so to be blessed by seeing what God is doing in other people. But I know that I know that I know that I know, that God’s plan for me involves sand, and I got my confirmation this weekend.

If you haven’t been on a vacation, I highly recommend doing so, and doing it very soon! And take a two-year old, and your own shovel.

... back...

I didn't want to come back.

I still don't want to be back.

I want to move to some place with sand, and ocean water. I'm losing my propensity to care where either.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The next time I'm on here..

I'll have a tan.

Oh. I'm kidding. Seriously, I'm part Irish, and we don't tan.

I'll have a LOT more freckles.

I'll try to get a seashell for each of you, Interpeeps.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Somebody's Somebody

I’m feeling lazy today. I was totally putting off writing my little blurb about bathing suits. Not sure why the zeal to write has dissipated, but it’s on the fizzle, forrizzle Shizzle.

I have really been wanting to blog about my personal situation (you know, the one that’s still in the healing process), but have been very hesitant to do so. I still want to, simply because it’s my blog and I can. In the past though, I have used my blogs to attack people, and I don’t want to do that. With that said, let me tell you that a dear friend called me last week, if for nothing else, to give another confirmation that I am not crazy.

I prayed for over three years for God to let this “Somebody” be my “Somebody”. Let me say that there were red flags. But I begged and pleaded for God to let us be together. (And Y’all know the together I’m referring to – the three rings and a ceremony “together”.) It’s difficult at times to process the why of things happening, and is thus our defense mechanism to press on. There are some days where, nothing comes to mind, and others where, I am consumed with thoughts. I have been patient and quiet (ask BW, I was NOT quiet), and not said anything to this person because I know that nothing I say will be received correctly, and when that is the inevitable consequence, it’s best to say nothing at all.

But oh how my heart breaks for my former “Somebody’s” new “Somebody”. I do pray for God to bless them. If for nothing else, I pray it because I’m supposed to pray for my enemies. (Yes, you read that right.) This new “Somebody” is at my house on a quasi-regular basis, and no matter how you rationalize it, it’s not easy for me. But my heart breaks for her, because there are so many things she doesn’t know, and if she does, and is choosing to ignore those flags, then God help her. I can only pray for God to heal that situation.

(I know the ambiguity of those last two paragraphs have kept you on the end of your seat.)

And then I’ve been wrestling with other things. The Wednesday night class I attend has been focused on forgiveness and making things right – whether its just forgiveness that is needed, or restitution, or reconciliation. And my mind has been wrastlin’. (My Aunt Sandi says that.) I’ve contemplated asking for forgiveness, but at this point, am not sure why I would need to ask forgiveness except for having hateful/hurtful thoughts again the “Somebodys”, and I ask God for forgiveness on those on a regular basis. And since me and the original “Somebody” aren’t speaking, do I need to ask forgiveness?? I understand more and more why Jacob wrestled all night long. Maybe I need a wrestling ring and an angel.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Silence is...

Sorry for the bloggy absence as of late. It comes from a combination of lack of time and lack of anything really good to blog.

Sometimes, silence is golden. I do, however, appreciate the comments that I've been missed. It truly warms my heart.

Because of my long absence, I think a list is appropriate:

1) Haven't heard anything on the J-O-B front. Three more positions opened up, and I have applied for them, so I appreciate any and all prayers that hit the Throneroom on my behalf. :)

2) I spent the weekend with my parents, and LORD-Y was it wonderful. I feel like I have been in a funk lately, and have had a bad attitude, etc, and getting away this weekend was good for my soul. I truly feel like myself again.

3) I am going on a mini-vacation. I haven't seen real Atlantic Coast sand in almost six years. There was an almost in Tampa a few years ago, but didn't pan out. I am pumped!

4) Allergies. Me and Pollen are not friends. In trying to be a good daughter this weekend, I helped my parents and cut their grass. On the allergan scale of 1-6, with 1 being little or no allergy, and 6 being off-the-richter allergy, I have 5's and 6's for every type of grass. I actually blew dirt out of my nose. (I know you all were just dying to hear that.) In praying for my husband, I want him to understand that I love cutting grass, but grass loves to get me more. And I never win.

5) I got the last of my tax money. I know that's probably horribly conceited to mention, but it's been frustrating, and I'm glad that all is said and done now.

6) Although I haven't found my husband yet (or, ... we haven't found each other), I did find the perfect wedding dress. I would share the address, but I'm afraid somebody might try to be sneaky and steal it, and you know, we'd have to have a layin'-on-of-hands-service, and I don't mean the good kind. :)

Alas... my list is short.

I do want to mention a few things that I have enjoyed as of lately:
a) Swoozies catalog. You should check this place out. I just love it!
b) My Teva Mush Flipflops. I didn't own flipflops (you know, the kind with the thing between the toes) until my Jamaica trip in '01, and I have misstakenly purchased cheap ones for not finding the real deal. Mush's are the real deal.
c) Thanks to Sunburned's 2006 CD Year in Review, go buy Paul Baloche's CD. It has blessed my soul.
d) Another good CD is Kari Jobe. She's part of Christ for the Nations.

Sorry for the brevity. Maybe I should ask ya'll to help me pray for inspiration?

Oh. Tomorrow I will blog about my experience trying on bathing suits. Stay tuned. You don't want to miss it!

Much love,...

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech...

I had an overwhelming urge yesterday to post a blog about this, and refrained, but today, after reading article after article online, and receiving an email from a dear friend, I feel compelled to do this.

One of the German instructors, a young man named Jamie Bishop was a Georgia native, and a childhood friend of a friend. As always, this is one of those things where you pray that no one you know would be involved. I have no details about his family, but I know they need your prayers, as do the families of those who were murdered, as well as the entire VT community.

The discussions that ensued yesterday regarding this massacre just broke my heart. I cannot imagine what that entire campus is going through. Having been an R.A. myself, and having several friends involved in residential life at my alma mater, I realize that this tragedy could have happened anywhere. There is no level of security that can truly prevent something like this from happening.

A good friend served as a resident director for one of the women's dorms at Lee. We joked, even this weekend, about how over-the-top her boss could be with meetings. They literally had meeting about everything, and had them all the time. My friend and I joked (as respectfully as possible) that we know that the Director of Res. Life will go into "Meeting Mode" and have her staff come up with several plans of action in case something like this were to ever happen.

You can't plan for something like this. You can have plan A, B, C, ... Z in place, but you really can't plan for this, Ever.

I think it's imperative for us, as humans, but also as believers to get on our faces, and pray for God's protection.

I'm a preacher's kid, a pentacostal, and a woman who believes in the Word and in Prayer. In high school, I had a christian t-shirt that said "DON'T FIGHT NAKED". The back said "Put on the whole armor of God", and went through Ephesians. Every morning, my mother and I pray on the phone, and armor our family up.

Too Many People fight NAKED spiritually. You can never leave the house without being covered in the blood of Jesus. For me, yesterday reiterates the importance of getting up and putting that covering, that hedge of Protection that God gave us, albeit invisible, but Divinely powerful, over ourselves and our families.

I don't close in prayer as often as I should, but I want to do this today. I want to pray for you. I'm including some names of those people I read (their) blogs (Sunburned, Mother's Serenity, BensMom, MulierSapien, Charis, BooMama, etc.) and others whose names are too many to mention. There's no day like today, and we are not promised tomorrow.

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you for this day. You see the tragedy that occurred yesterday, and our frail capacity to understand the horror that took place. You see the families of each person who perished, as well as a campus of students, staff, and faculty who are experiencing so many overwhelming emotions. You see the rest of us, who are trying to grasp what happened, process why, and figure out what we can do. And ultimately Lord, we know that there is No One like You. Right now, Heavenly Father, I lift up my friends, and cover them with your precious blood, from the top of their heads to the souls of their feet. Father, I cover them in your armor, the Helmet of Salvation, the Breastplate of Righteousness, Gird their Loins with Truth, Shod their Feet with Peace, give them the Sword of the Spirit, and the Shield of Faith. Protect them today. Help us to all understand, as best we can, this horrible tragedy that has occurred. Lord, be with those families today who have experienced this incomprehensible loss, and comfort them. Thank you for sending the Holy Spirit as our Paraclete. Let this serve as our reminder that we are not promised tomorrow, and that today is the day to make things right with you. In the midst of all that happened, Lord remind us that it is your Glory that will prevail. We may not understand why this "wake-up" call had to occur, but I thank you in advance for those who will turn to you. Lord, give them zeal and strength, and encourage their hearts. Lord, I just want to thank You and Praise You for all that You are to us. Continue to touch our Hearts. In your precious name I pray... Amen.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Stupid quote

Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. Andre Gide

This is the quote on the side panel below my archives.

Why do I think this is stupid???

Maybe because I'm born into sin. and if I'm faithful to sin, then it's in complete disobedience to God.

I understand the flip side of that answer, but I still think the quote is dumb.

Maybe... I'm too analytical today.


Food for Thought.


I should be working right now. I'm not. I have my checkbook ready to balance. I haven't put make-up on yet. (It's 9:45.) And I'm kinda okay with it.

My interview went really good. No matter what happens, it was a good interview. I am very, very thankful. Thank you Thank you Thank you for your prayers -- I appreciate them more than you know.

My weekend was not the best. I ran into someone that I wanted to go the rest of my life without seeing. This person makes me physically ill. I want to blog about the situation, but, after two days of careful analysis, it would truly do NO GOOD, and is therefore, not worth mentioning in detail.

I am excited about going home this weekend. It will be the first time I've been able to be around folks at home in two months. My cousin and I are going to have a long talk. My intentions are to do most of the talking. She's up to her antics again, and I just refuse to allow The Enemy to wreak any more havoc on my family through her.

On to more exciting things...

I did make a birthday cake for the crush. :) He's older than I am, and I love that. A dear friend of mine got engaged. I'm so happy for her. I realized that I have not taken pictures in a long time, and want to take a few this coming weekend. I had to buy a toilet seat this weekend; it's the first time I've ever had to purchase anything on THAT side of a home store. It was very weird. I did purchase a Paul Baloche CD, thanks to Sunburned 2006 in Review Mixed CD. I have been singing at the top of my lungs, LITERALLY, to track 5 "Your Name".

Singing like I do... I become more attuned to the lyrics and the emotion behind them.

Jesus is a Shelter like no other.
And Nothing has the Power to save like Jesus.

Your Name By Paul Baloche
As morning dawns and evening fades
You inspire songs of praise
That rise from earth to touch Your heart
and glorify Your Name

Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name

Jesus, in Your Name we pray
Come and fill our hearts today
Lord, give us strength to live for You
and glorify Your Name

Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Request for Prayers

I don't solicite for prayer requests often, but today is one of those days where I'm choosing to ask.

Several days ago, I applied for a job (within my company) that would be a very large step for me personally, professionally, and being honest, financially.

Yesterday, I got the phone call for my interview. It's schedule for tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. The person who is hiring does not have to interview, so I really feel honored that I've been called for one.

But a co-worker stopped me in the hall today to tell me about my competition, and it made me nervous. Her brief words highlighted my nerves and my own inadequacies.

So, I'm asking for prayer. Prayer for the person who is hiring to have Godly wisdom and discernment. Prayer for me to have calmer nerves (I think it's okay to be a little nervous), and to have the right words to say.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I got to work way earlier than usual this morning. It was after 1:00am before I fell asleep, and my exhaustion is making me totally rethink going to this DVD taping. Yes, interpeeps, I'm a sleeper. I can't help it. I love sleep. To be snuggly and warm and in dreamland... is.a.beautiful.thing. Indeed. So, I am fighting the urge.

In funny news, the crush called me last night, under the guise of coming by to watch Dancing with the Stars. (I know, I know... don't fuss at me. Pray for me!) He got to my house about thirty minutes before anybody else, and we chatted briefly and then I realized: He and I can have quiet time and I don't freak out. I say, candidly, that I cannot do that with a lot of people. Silence makes me nervous. But either last night was the calm before the storm, or I'm in the presence of a good man who doesn't make me want to talk incessantly about nothing just to occupy space, time, and frequency. It was truly MAH-velous.

So my mind, gaping black emotional, relationship hole that it is, is filled with these thoughts:
1) I am so thankful for being able to just meet guys who aren't married, divorced, angry at women in general, complete jerks, or total heathens.
2) I am thankful for meeting a good man to remind my heart that God has not forgotten me.
3) I am thankful for learning how to not act crazy around a boy.
4) I am thankful for the emotional incentive he provides that I can't articulate fully.
5) God is still working on me. To make me what I ought to be. It took him 7 days to make the heavens, earth, and man,... so my husband should be 1/32 of a nano-second in Holy time. How loving and patient He must be. He's still working on me. :)
6) There are still really incredible men out there, who are totally sold out and in love with Jesus -- one for me, and others for my wonderful Godly female friends. That's right girls, God didn't call us all to be celibate.
7) I'm thankful for meeting people who remind me that being 28 and unmarried is not modern-day leprosy. And being 28, and a non-mother is not cause for banishment to said lepper colony. Props to my great friend A. for always being that encourement for me.
8) I read a blogfriend's post about her boyfriend "popping the question" with a ringpop, and it made me think that those aforementioned great-guys-who-will-make-incredible-husbands are not only husband-material, but they are:
a) creative
b) smart
c) funny
d) they get us!
e) passionate about the Lord
f) silly when necessary, or unneccessary
g) Not late, but On Time. God's time, that is.
h) will be spiritual heads of our households

Okay... I could keep rattling on, but you see the point. Be encouraged, single ladies. We are not forgotten. Isn't that what Israel Houghton taught us? LOL.

The only other thing I read/did/saw yesterday, and I know this should be funny, but I laughed, WAS:

The archbishop in Chicago fell. On Holy Water. Then proceeded to graciously remind people that he falls down, but He got up.

I loved it. Just loved it. He did hurt his hip, but he's doing okay.

Oh, BooMama's post about Wii makes me want to get one and play with it and make my own Mii.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Now I've got time!!

Yep... me again. Two posts in one day. Quite the rarity, huh?

Life is ever-bustling for me. As my busy social calendar below gives indication, this week will truly be hectic, but hopefully, (and I am crossing my fingers, toes, and arms)... good for my soul. I am very excited about getting to be a part of a DVD taping. That, and I absolutely loved When Wallflowers Dance. If you haven't read anything by Angela Thomas, start with Do you think I'm beautiful?. It's such a good book! My new problem -- what to wear. :(

A friend posted an easter picture this morning from 1984, and commented on carrying a purse. I had to comment, because, being the effervescent pastor's kid in the Church of God during the 1980's, I was subjected to ginormous puffy dresses with krenlin slips and enough lace to circumfrence the globe once, as well as patent leather shoes, lacey anklets (as they must match aforementioned dress), a white sweater for those times when church was chilly or it was cool, and the matching purse. As I shared with J., my purse was always filled with the essentials for a young PK, that is Kleenex and pennies. And the occassional lego toy, which I can only assume was to keep my punk little brother occupied so that he wouldn't crawl under the pew. (He totally did anyway, and invariably would bang his head on the pew.) While I'm on this note, I thought I would share a few Easter memories... some I remember, and some I am retold as often as someone feels the need to give me a hard time for being a brat.

1982 -- Our first year in Gadsden. My mother got me dressed first, then my brother, in a baby blue shorts suit (a little blue suit jacket with lovely matching blue knee shorts) with cute little knee socks and Buster Brown shoes. She then proceeded to leave me alone with JM while she got dressed. ** BIG MISTAKE** Being the wonderful nurturer that I am, I allowed my brother to get into his easter basket full of chocolate. After JM lathered his face and suit in chocolate, I got a prompt spanking (and my Mama is not one of those sissy spankers either, so I'm sure I went to church with lace and handprints on my upper thighs from her beating me!). Then, my mother had to bathe JM, and wash his suit. Needless to say, we missed Sunday school that morning. It was also this year that some sweet person that attended our church made matching pink and blue macrame Easter baskets for us that didn't even burn in our house fire. We still have those up in the attic. :)
1983 -- One of the women in our church knitted me a sweater and matching purse for Easter. It was white with little flowers on it. I left the purse at a Chinese restaurant one Sunday after lunch, and when we went back to get it, they had thrown it away. I have never forgotten that purse. :(
1984 -- There is a picture from this Easter of my brother and I early that morning still wearing our pj's posing in front of our Easter baskets. My pajama shirt says "Down With Bedtime". It was my favorite shirt ever.
1985 -- I somehow convinced my mother to let me get my hair cut to look like Dorothy Hamil, and I wore yellow. Two things -- 1) I do not look cute with a Dorothy Hamil haircut, and 2) Yellow ain't my color.
1987 -- the was the last Easter my parents were together, and I somehow convince my mother to let me buy a navy dress with white polks dots that, after one wear, I hated, and refused to wear again. She still remembers that dress.
1990 -- I got the prettiest dress that Easter and it had a deep purple in it. I convinced my mother, ever-the-fashionista, to let me buy purple shoes with a heel. I absolutely loved those shoes! But... I had a wretched perm that year. I'll try to find a pic.

Just thought I'd share....

Life and Times

It’s 10:55. I have been at work for three hours and I still haven’t put my make-up on. I haven’t blogged in what seems like a really long time. My friends have been concerned enough about me to call each other and ask if I’m okay. I’ve been really busy, and haven’t made time like I should have and now they’re all starting to take notice. I have a close friend that I no longer enjoy being around, and I don’t really know why.

But enough of that!

I have a busy week this week:
Today -- returning all the crap that I bought for Easter and a friend's baby shower that I don't need/didn't use. Grand total $157.00. (Ridiculous, ain't it?)
Tomorrow -- work and Angela Thomas DVD taping in Knoxville
Wednesday -- work and Angela Thomas DVD taping in Knoxville
Thursday -- work and... I'm torn. We had Beth Moore Bible study, but it's the last night of taping for AT, and it's only a six week study. I don't know what to do!!?!!??!!
Friday -- recuperate from Monday through Thursday.

Easter was good! He got up!!! I did manage to buy clothes that are too big for me since I apparently am no longer able to shop for myself. I looked like a really clean homeless person yesterday in my clothes that were obviously a size too large. Go figure.

The crush came to my house on Friday night, and a good friend got to meet him. Saints, please pray for me that I won't act stupid. Seriously!!!

My heart has been so richly blessed by John 17. If you haven't read it, do so today.

Thursday, April 5, 2007


I didn't blog yesterday, because I was trying to be productive at work, and I really didn't have anything to say.

Please pray for one of my co-worker's family. He lost a 3-week old niece to a very rare, untreatable, uncurable genetic disease yesterday, and the family is not doing well right now.

I've been scrambling in my brain thinking about stuff the last few days, being trapped in my own ridiculous thoughts. But perspective has come more than once. So, I have been reminded of purpose.

I had good intentions to do something this week in honor of Easter, and have fallen short. Provided my department doesn't have to go to a funeral, I am going to find a Good Friday lunch service to attend.

He died for me. He bore those nails, that crown, that cross, for my wretched self.

But He got up. And for that... I have no words.

So, even with my not-so-positive attitude lately, and my horrible judgmental nature, He died for me. Wretched, born-in-sin, undeserving of grace, Me. And defeated it all.

Last night I was reading John 17, where Jesus prayed. "Sanctify them by the truth; Your Word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." (vs. 17-19)

Tuesday, April 3, 2007


Last night was relatively quiet at my house. Relative in terms that, there was not a crowd there. Kinda bittersweet -- I love the crowd, but I also need quiet time. I'm running on the assumption that it was a good thing, though.

A friend of mine stopped by the house just to chat, and ultimately pour his heart out. He's going through a lot, and just needed somebody to talk to. It was good to be able to listen. It was really good to not be alone. (Kinda contradictory in lieu of my "quiet time" comment, huh?) In divine fashion, my morning devo was about sharing -- not stuff, but your heart. How often do we really fail to do that? We walk on eggshells to prevent hurting one another's feelings, and then ultimately walk away feeling worse than we do. We don't share. Our thoughts, our opinions, relevant truth. It's sad really. This friend also made me think about the dynamics of relationships. He's a guy in his mid 20's who is really experiencing heartbreak for the first time. TV glamorizes people having their hearts broken in their teens because they're young, and they'll bounce, but I am a firm believer that more people are older when they experience this than not. Case in point: ME. I was 21. I loved hard. And I fell hard too. But I fell hard into God's amazing grace, even though I couldn't recognize it at all. And after my experience, I wanted everyone to be able to experience that same intensity of euphoria: Being Loved 100%. Love truly is a beautiful thing.

And yet, I can be so greedy with my love sometimes. I've got to change my ways. I don't deserve love, but get it anyway, and then hold it away from others who desperately need it. Sheesh.

More oft than not, those things we are so desperate for, we deprive others of, in an attempt to not show our vulnerability. We are totally stupid.

"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." I Timothy 1:5

Monday, April 2, 2007

Psalm 139:23-24

So... I'm really trying to get past this blogging funk. I used to blog first thing... right after I got to work, and it seemed to work. So, I am returning to old habits in the hopes that I can move past this *thing* whatever it is.

Last night, I wrote these scriptures in the prayer journal that I keep by my bed. And this morning, my friend A. send me an email from her friend C., and low and behold, something I call confirmation. And Perspective.

Here I am worrying about something that, in the grand scheme is probably not all that important, probably just me being a drama queen, with this friend, Mr. C. has serious issues, but faith like nobody's business, and I am reminded that, I must count my blessings for I AM BLESSED. And the Deuteronony 28 blessed too. But, it is easy to forget when I stop focusing on Jesus.

That's right folks, this morning, I am Peter, looking at the water instead of the Savior. (I'm gonna have to read that book again!)

I am asking for your prayers as this morning I am applying for a very substantial position, in the hopes of sticking around town for a while. Yes, putting Hawaii on God's time not mine. (I know my FBC ladies will be rejoicing when they read this... (you should comment too!).) In doing so, I am publicly acknowledging two things: 1) I am not, nor have I ever been IN CONTROL, and 2) Nothing has ever worked out in my time frame, only God's, and for me to be foolish and think otherwise is well... FOOLISH. I am also cognitive that this position may not work out, and that's okay, but I'm at least trying. So, pray for me if you will.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Sunday stuff...

I don't normally post on Sundays, but I opted to make an exception for today.

I bolted out of church at 11:15 this morning.

This is not normal for me.

I was sitting in front of a friend of mine, and I could hear (them) praying, and I heard murmurings that just tore my heart, as they sounded like one of my camp kids spelling out C-O-C-A-C-O-L-A, mocking the Holy Spirit. And I just couldn't take it. This same friend is changing (their) story on alot of things, and I just can't be around that. Ironically enough, the guy who spoke in Sunday School talked about separating yourself from people who mean well, but ultimately wind up trouble.

So... I bolted out of church at 11:15 this morning.

Considering that I can be a confrontational person when necessary, I am saying with assurance that I don't want to deal with this situation, and just need God to move.

But my luck, God's going to make me deal with this one head on. Yikes.

And I think the boy had such a good time on his date with somebody else, that he went out with her last night too.

So ... that's that.