Monday, December 31, 2007

Resolutes and more...

I know many people don't make NYR but I really like to!!! I kept ONE of my thirteen from last year. (boo!) But I still like making them anyway!

My motto this year is: _____ in '08

1) Lose weight in '08 -- it's time to get healthy!!

2) Get in Straight in '08 -- more time in the Word!!

3) be great in '08 -- Just to be fabulous. I want my 20's to go out with a bang as I welcome 30 in this year!

4) don't be late in '08 -- they laid the law down at work!!

5) tempt fate in '08 -- fun stuff!!!!

6) create in '08 -- "to be creative in context..." (a quote from B109). It inspires me to want to be creative wherever I am -- work, home, church, small groups, Wal-Mart, etc.

7) don't be irate in '08 -- I have had the worst attitude the last few weeks, and I'm tired of being ill and aggravated!

8) decorate in '08 -- my apartment, cards, crafts, my black wardrobe... whatever strikes my fancy!

9) be bait in '08 -- be a witness for the Lord this year!! I know somebody is dying that I used bait in terms of luring people to Jesus, but if you're light is shinin' (so to speak), then you technically are bait for the Lord!

10) find a mate in '08! -- I'm ready!!! :) Do you know anyone? They 1) must love Jesus, 2) preferably taller than 6', 3) would prefer gainfully employed. Phone numbers available on request.

What are yours?????

2008 and more...

Can I get an AMEN???

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

the day after Christmas...

is such a big shopping day for most folks. I... am at work. Slaving away. Yeah right. Blogging, playing on the internet, reading the love story and finding myself completely entranced as I read about Ree and Marlboro Man. Seriously, if you haven't read it, or at least caught up lately, stop by and show some love. Except for the excessive making out (which I'm sure is only my bitterness talkin'), it is an incredible sweet story that gives me hope that my masculine, God-lovin', taller than 5'9" man is just around the proverbial bend for me. Ahh, sweet hope. Other than that, I've paid a few bills and laughed while reading about the frontier thrills and trials. There are only seven people on my entire floor, so it is deliciously quiet.

Oh yes, and I'm a little sick. I have "seen the rainbow" (Bits, I'm leaving the apostrophes for interpretation), and wish it would go away. I do sound as though I 1) need to take out my lungs and hose them off, 2) am round about early stage four Emphysema, 3) I'm really 97 years old fighting off bronchitis.

And all is well except for a little incident with a co-worker down the hall who, well frankly, she is not nice, and when broached on the topic, proceeded to send me an email that I was unprofessional. Ridiculously unimportant story short, I went to clarify her rude email, and she promptly lied to my face. Oh well.

aren't y'all proud??? just an "Oh well!"!! Remember... this is melodramatic me!!! An "Oh well" is a breakthrough!!!

See, I'm growing and it's not even 2008 yet.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas and all that Jazz...

I don't remember my last post, and for fear that it was probably bitter or cynical or some mix thereof, I'm going to start on a clean slate!!

Christmas this year has been a whirlwind and, while I'm not excited about going to work because I have been sick the entire Christmas break, I'm thrilled to jump into a new year!! My favorite Christmas presents this year included a gift from my Dad, a sweet card from my aunt, and IPod (for me to work out with!), and a diamond pendant from my Mom.

But mostly I'm thankful that I was able to see my family and love on them, and remember that if it weren't for Jesus' birth, we would never have Jesus' death, resurrection, and grace.

That Grace is worth it all.

And oh yeah... getting my Mom the best Christmas Present E.V.E.R.

Hope you all had a good one with your family... and Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

"For unto us a child is born..."

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Various and unsundries... Part Cinco

  • Now that I'm up to part 5 in spanish, maybe I need to learn a new language.
  • A friend of mine shared the other day that when he used to cut grass on a riding lawn mower, he would translate conversations into spanish.
  • When I did the same with my grandfather (cut grass, that is), I would have these extensive theological debates.
  • It's a little much for a 14-year old, huh?
  • My Christmas shopping is ALMOST complete. I have four gifts to buy!
  • My Christmas cards have not made it out of the house though... those may get to you b/f 2008, but I'm not making promises.
  • A co-worker who I adore got me a Calligraphy set for Christmas. I may not have many talents, but I do like to think I have nice handwriting. I'm excited to use that gift!
  • We gave a lady down the hall earmuffs since she hates noise at work (don't ask). I do not think she got the joke. (But, they are cute earmuffs.)
  • Hollie from this season's Biggest Loser is my new inspiration. When (notice not IF), WHEN I lose 40 pounds, I will chop my hair off like hers.
  • So, add six months of growth, and I think I'll be chopping off about 12 inches.
  • That... is alot of hair.
  • And is kinda scary.
  • (But, boy won't I look cute!)
  • I need to make resolutions for 2008,... goals... if you will.
  • 2007 Soundtracks are ready. I will try to post the emo list of songs shortly.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I saw I Am Legend this weekend, and it scared the hoo-hah out of me.

But the scapes of NYC are phenomenal. They even panned up my brother's street... you can see his Front Door!!!


I saw a Britney Spears video (for like... the first time in six years), and I no longer believe she's crazy, I think she's manipulating and planning her every crazy move.


On the schedule of the Twelve Days of Christmas, I believe today is "FIIIIIIIIIIIVE GOLDEN RINGS!!!!!"
**Warning** Enter at your own risk.

That's all I can say. I have been unbloggy, unemaily, relatively unsocial due to being trapped in my thoughts and such for the last few weeks. But the fog, IS LIFTING, and leaves me with the urge to share what I've been thinking about lo these last few weeks. But it's like watching a birth, it's gross and kinda nasty, but something good comes out of it. Should you choose to keep reading, thanks.

I do not deal well with the holidays. Some hairy combination of Thanksgiving, My Birthday, Christmas, and New Years, being alone (no spouse y'all), parents divorce, sometimes makes me crazy. Okay, so it's made me kinda crazy for a lotta years. Most of it is self-induced disappointment that I am not at the place in my life where I thought I would be and that I am somehow not the woman that I thought I would be.

I mean, surely by now, I expected to be a wife and mother.

And nary, I have not a pet.

But I have ridiculous allergies and really am not that crazy about animals anyway. Except for Panda Bears and we ALL know about their excessive presence in the South. Right.

Back to what I was thinking. Several weeks ago, I was running late for work and took pictures of the leaves changing color. It was truly spectacular, and was both literal and metaphoric for me. The season in my life was finally changing. The year that, for all purposes, has SUCKED, this year that I have spent grieving and healing, is finally, FINALLY coming to a close. And with it, my 20's are wrapping up. I don't want to spend the next twelve months of my life the way that I have spent the previous twelve months. And let me backtrack and say how blessed I have been to spend some of that time with family and good friends that I love, admire, and respect. But it's time for me to "get my head in the game", if you will.

So... here's to a new year, with new blessings, deeper relationships, greater truth, and more love.

"Don't just pretend that you love others. REALLY love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9-10

Being friends with a boy can make you an alcoholic

Read here:

Thursday, December 13, 2007


I wish I had the words to tell you how blessed I feel today. All I can do is smile, cry, and say Thank You.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Worth it...

Eight and a half years ago, I moved to Cleveland, Within two and a half months, I had met six of the seven people who became the most influential part of my time at Lee. At the beginning of the second semester, I met #7.
If I were to write down every memory that involved these people, I would not have the pages or the words. I believe, with all of my heart, that God divinely orchestrated all of us meeting each other, for both a time and season, as well as forever. That sounds really corny, but I don't care. For my graduation (I was first), I wanted all of us to get together, dressed up, and take a good picture. (See, I'm not as materialistic as you might think.) We had a fight while taking the picture, but it still turned out pretty good. Of the original eight, five are now married, and one has two kids.
I forgot how good it was to be around my friends, and how much I missed them. This weekend, Adam married Ashlee. It was a beautiful wedding that only reminded me that I want a wedding, not some "I do's" in front of a random minister on a Tuesday. I want a real, full-scale, hopefully-not-breaking-the-bank kind of wedding.
And I want all of my friends there too.

Pictures from this weekend (post to follow soon!)

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


Thank you God for the hard times.
Thank you for making me incapable of seeing what is in front of me.
Thank you for not always giving me what I ask for when I want it because You know I won't know exactly what to do with it.
Thank you for making things difficult so that I see that Your Grace really is sufficient.
Thank you for not answering all those tearful requests to let this boy and that boy be "The Boy".
Thank you for closing doors when I have no strength of my own to close them.
Thank you for not responding to my frustration and foolishness so that I can hear you in the quietness.
Thank you for making me wait.
Thank you for making patience a virtue, and a good thing.
Thank you for rough patches that cause me to grow.
Thank you for "sandpaper friends" who are divine instruments to rub away things that are displeasing in your sight.
Thank you for the thousands of words that articulate pain and suffering.
Thank you for tears that wash away those words I can't articulate.
Thank you for uncomfortable situations that make me lean on You.
Thank you for waking me in the night to show me that worrying is futile and that I must talk to You.
Thank you for the burdens.
Thank you for wrestling with me in the night.
Thank you for loving me enough that you fight for me.
Thank you for loving me more than I can comprehend that you sent your son to die for me.
Thank you for being so incomprehensible.

I know that few of us really sit down and thank God for the hard times, but we have to. And in retrospect, I am always thankful for those hard times, whatever they may be, because I see how God uses those situations to shape and mold me into who He wants me to be.

"He's still working on me... to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth, Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be! 'Cause He's still workin' on me."

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Challenge 2!

Last year... I just adored Sunburned's 2006 CD! She sent me a copy in January or February, and it's so good! And ... it has left me thinking about every song I hear this year... so that I can compile my own 2007 Soundtrack of my Life.

My soundtrack is all over the place, musically speaking, but that should come as no surprise.

(I was surprised that either noone read my last blog, or y'all thought I was too fragile or crazy for comments.)

But... irregardless, I've had a blast compiling songs that describe my roller coaster year.

One of my favs this year is Over You, by Daughtry.
Here's a nibble of the chorus:
"Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

And of course, there are some old school tracks that describe my year with precision.

What would be on your soundtrack???

Monday, December 3, 2007

Uh oh.. here goes.

I haven't blogged in almost a week, and frankly the last things I blogged were passing info and crap.

I feel some shame/worthlessness in that.

I am happy to write that my brother has a new job that he will start the first of 2008. Yay JM.

There are other, very deeply personal notes that I could add to that, but alas, they are 1) deep and 2) personal, and don't belong on the blog. If you get my drift.

I am not in the Christmas spirit. I have something that has been wrestling in my spirit and I haven't done it yet and I don't know how to approach this, but I know that if I don't do it -- it's sheer disobedience, and I don't want to let it get that far.

That probably makes no sense.

But, I'm not in the Christmas spirit yet.

Although, A Charlie Brown Christmas comes on TV tonight and I really love that movie.


Twenty years ago next Thursday, my own personal Nagasaki came down and shattered alot of the naivety that I knew.

And I have spent the last two decades of my life trying to figure out how in the HELL to make sense of it all.

That's what I spent my weekend thinking about.


I did color my hair this weekend... and I love it!