Saturday, August 30, 2008
Guess who's outta shape?
That would be MOI.
Then again, I had ten pounds to spare. :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
(Too bad my neck doesn't look like that!)
And you know what I was reminded of: REJECTION.
Without sounding callous... rejection is a way of life. I can't help but find ridiculousness in people who constantly want to eradicate rejection from real life.
NEWS FLASH -- Even Jesus got rejected. I'm not going to give my dissertation on original sin and rejection, but I feel like we all need to be reminded that rejection happens.
You don't get into that club.
You don't get into that school.
You don't get that job.
He/She doesn't love you back.
You don't win every time.
Maybe I sound mean... (that's entirely up to your interpretation), but life is not sunshine, cupcakes, and roses, you know? I would love to be 5'7" and weigh 115 pounds. But I'm not ever going to be that. Unless you amputate above my ankles. Or I spend 5 months starving. So, I have to make choices. Some work out and some don't, but I don't give up. I can't help but think that the only way to avoid rejection is to avoid taking any risk. Spiritually speaking, you put faith in God and believe that His Way leads to everlasting life. Then again, maybe that's why I think Agnostics are really just indecisive. They never risk faith.
Maybe I need to start a colony of people who want to live in a box. No risk, no rejection.
But in the same thought process...
Maybe that club wasn't right for you
Maybe that school didn't offer what you wanted
Maybe there's a better job
There's definitely somebody better!
You don't lose all the time either
P.S. I'm preaching to the Choir here.
"Jennifer Leigh, you have exactly five seconds to get out of that chair and forget about the idea of a tattoo or I will cut you off financially."
So, I got down, because I was broke and scared of my mom. (There was an incident in high school where I lied to her and she slammed me up against a wall.) P.S.... my mom is not violent normally. :) Anywhoo... my desire for a tattoo has never wavered, but my fear and respect for my Mom is the thing that prevails. She would get over it I'm sure, but she would be SOOOOOOOOOO disappointed in me. And the the last thing I would want to do it hurt her intentionally.
This weekend in Gatlinburg, I got a Henna tattoo. With my friends standing around me, I called my mom on speakerphone. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Mom, I got a tattoo.
Mom: (Stern tone) What?
Me: I got a tattoo.
Me: Mom, are you still there? I'm just kidding. I got a Henna tattoo... it'll wash off in a few weeks.
Mom: I don't care what your little twinkie friends do to their bodies, but the well will run dry, Sister. Do you understand me?
Maybe I'll get a tattoo when I'm married.
Clay at Noefool.com put up a post on Monday about tattoos. The comments he's received have been hilarious!!
What are your thoughts on tattoos??
** To clear up any confusion, my mother does not financially support me in any way, shape, or fashion.**
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
search my heart, search my mind, search my soul
make me clean, make me new, make me whole
all of my plans, all of my dreams, I lay them down before your feet
all of my time, all that was mine, I now submit to your design
'cause you are the one and only one who dared to give it all away for me
you are my strength, you are my God, you are my king
you make me laugh, you make me dance, you make me sing
... you never change, but You rearrange my heart more everyday
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
So, I deleted it.
But then I remind myself that it had less to do with online dating than it did have to do with living a life of no regret... and now I can't get it back.
Monday, August 25, 2008
It all started by accident a few years ago, just a bunch of college friends getting together. Our first year, we caught up and rehashed some very funny memories, but the last two years, we've really been able to have a fun retreat! (Next year, we may need a spiritual retreat though. LOL!)
Somehighlights of the weekend including:
1. My name is German. Yes?
2. The "Creekside Puppet sHOw"
3. Rythmic gymnastics
4. Tiger Woods
5. "I pledge allegiance to the flag"
6. Fireho Golf
7. "HOly, HOly, HOly"
Here are a few pictures too!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
And then today I remembered this picture from two years ago:
Clearly, this was not natural. And the more I looked at it, the more I thought of characters in comic books. I look like my superpower is setting things on fire... using my flaming RED hair.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I can say that I would do this everyday if I could. It was that touching of an experience.
But I will tell you that, at our last house, we took a weeks' worth of meals to a couple and stayed to chat with them a little bit.
The gentleman had had a hip replacement surgery several months before, but in combination with diabetes and high blood pressure still slept on a hospital bed in the living room. When we walked in, we all immediately noticed that he was in his underwear.
So we said nothing.
Until his wife asked him to show us his "Shingles".
yeahhhh... We managed to get out "unscathed" (I crack me up!), but then I managed to somehow drive over a cinder block.
Low-riding Lincoln + cinder block = appears that I may be doing driveway demolition.
The lady came running out, to ask if I was okay, (and to check that her home was still intact, I'm sure). Of course, only the cinder block was damaged. Oh, and my pride.
If NASCAR doesn't pick me up, then surely Extreme Makeover: Home Edition could use me as a subcontractor.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
I wish I had some deep philosophical answer about the juxtaposed conundrum that "delightfully" and "cliche" bring together, but the truth is, the title occurred to me while I was listening to a song by The Fray, and that I really don't like Calhoun. I thought it would be stupid to marker a permanent web address with a name I didn't care for.
And, for your curiosity, I've wanted a new last name since I was about four. I've wanted a husband since then too, so I can only assume that THAT is the correlation.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
- We get disappointed when there aren't any comments.
- Overwhelmed when there are too many comments to respond to.
- We want to hide when comments are hurtful...
- even to the point that we change blogs (I have 7 folks, I am preaching to me)
- But real bloggers knows that comment(ary) is becoming a dialect of the words of affirmation love language.
I would love to hear your thoughts about bloggers, unless they're #3, in which I'll need to #4. But if you comment, and then encourage a friend to comment, then #5. Unless you tell your entire church to comment, then I'll be #2.
I feel like I've been exceptionally critical lately... of a lot of things, and that can only be an indicator of things internal being off. (Translation -- I'm unhappy with me over one thing or another but instead of dealing with that, take it out being overly critical of things I have NO BUSINESS being overly critical about.)
Then in church today, our pastor preached on champions, but made this one statement:
"It's not the zeal of your start, but the fight of your finish that people remember."
And that one sentence help put my weekend in perspective. I have been known to bring ideas to the table, and a certain zeal to the table, but forget the follow through. I mean, I do follow through with things, but othe things that need my focus,... I don't like I can and should.
- a healthy lifestyle INCLUDING exercise
- bible time/prayer time
- a lot of other personal things that don't belong on a blog. :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
and Frankly,... I couldn't live like that any longer.
For years (and I mean YEARS), my father had pestered me about going away to college. Both of my parents are college graduates, and they both understood the emotional and social growth that I desperately needed.
The reality was that, as a senior in high school, I wanted to graduate on Friday night, and get married on Saturday, and just jump headfirst into this life I had fantasized about. Thankfully, God had other plans.
Me as a 17-year old bride = DISASTER.
I sent off my acceptance letter in April. My mom and Dad both asked me DAILY if I'd heard anything. About three weeks after I sent off my application, my mom called me at work to ask if I'd heard anything. I'm pretty sure I yelled at her for bugging me about college. Because I really didn't want to go away. I didn't want to leave my mundane life that I was actually starting to like. My faux-dreams were kinda nice. So I grudgingly called the admissions office:
Me: "Hi, my name is JLC, and my parents are driving me crazy to find out if I've been accepted. Can you help me?"
Admin counselor: "Yeah sure, just hang on."
Admin counselor: "Congrats JLC, I'd like to welcome you to Lee University in the fall!"
Me: (choking back shock and tears) "Thanks."
I promptly hung up the phone and hid in a bathroom and cried for two hours. I finally had to breakdown and call my mother, but I very distinctly being angry and her and my Dad. I was angry that she was pushing me, angry that they weren't happy with my mediocre life, angry that the stupid guy could tell me that I had been accepted over the phone. I told my Mom and Aunt, swore them to secrecy, and didn't tell anybody for three days.
The months, weeks, and days leading up to leaving my hometown were every emotion that I could possibly imagine. Excitement about a new adventure, sadness for leaving my mom, Relief that I wouldn't wind up like everyone else, and fear that I would not be accepted. I spent all day Thursday packing and preparing, washing clothes, loading my car, figuring out what I needing, and making lists. I'd spent days and nights daydreaming about the people I was going to meet, my husband and how I'd run into him nonchalantly in the dining hall, meeting my future bridesmaids, and graduating magna cum laude. Thursday night, I got NO sleep. On Friday, my car was packed, my mom's car was packed, and we headed off. We had to make one pit stop in Atlanta to buy my first new computer. I cried the entire time we were in Best Buy. I knew it was because I wouldn't be taking this thing home, to set up in my room, to email my friends, and figure out exactly how to use the internet. It was going to be used to email my mom and tell her how much I missed her, and to email my brother who was leaving for college the next week, to tell him how much I missed him. It was indeed overwhelming.
But the time we finally arrived on campus, we parked our cars separately, My mom got in the car with me, and we headed off to find my dorm, my R.D., and start my new life. It took us time to get unpacked, all the while trying to meet new people, watching other girls set up their rooms, watching families cry, and trying to keep our own composure. It was hot as all get out, and after making umpteen trips to the car, and up 15 stairs, we were wiped out. And then it dawned on us all the things we needed from Wal-Mart. The first time I walked in WM in CleveVegas... I remember thinking that it didn't look like my Wal-mart. I didn't know the cashiers, or wouldn't run into anyone I knew. It was so bizarre.
$700 and four trips back to Wal-mart... we finally were able to see some semblance in my room. We even made sweet tea! My mom taught me tricks and gave me all kinds of tips. She encouraged me to let her put my room together, and go out and meet people.
It was terrifying.
All the while, I knew I wanted to make it so she couldn't leave me. I didn't want to go home, but I didn't want to be without her.
The next morning, we had an orientation session, and a young guy got up and sang these words (that I have not forgotten in NINE years):
"I'm so happy I'm in college; I"m so sad, I miss my Mommy".
I literally fell apart in the balcony of the Conn Center. But I was too terrified that I was going to miss something, so I had to just wipe the tears and snot away and pray that nobody was watching me.
The rest of Saturday was a blur to me... only because I knew Sunday was coming. My mom and I went to church, and then went to Applebee's. I cried the whole lunch because I knew the moment had arrived where she would have to go. It was awful and scary, and as much as I wanted to stop it... I knew I had to endure it.
I knew that in just 48 hours... my whole life had changed and I would never be the same.
Over the following weeks and months, I met girls I wanted to be like, guys I wanted to marry, and the club I desperately wanted to belong to. I talked alot and listened alot, introduced myself multiple times daily, and called home as often as possible.
Looking back now, I see how much really did change in those first 48 hours. I also see how much changed over the last nine years... finding my first love, having my heart broken, getting into that club, being friends with those girls, going to the weddings of those boys, finding another love, and figuring out who I was.
Also finding out that, everybody back home though I'd only last three weeks before I came back.
I am not the 20 year old that walked on that campus that day. But in order to be who I am, I had to find her first. Finding that strength was one of the greatest discoveries of my life. Realizing where that strength came from... only from Heaven.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Anybody wanna go????
The only downside is that my friend and I usually wind up staying up WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY too late, and I'm exhausted the next day. Today's exhaustion provided a funny that I couldn't resist sharing.
I was asked to lead a team from my company for United Way and had to give two 25-minute presentations. As part of the team, we picked a volunteer opportunity for our building:
Me: "There are XX agencies that the United Way of Northwest NonofyourBeeswax supports, and to give you a chance to volunteer and see what your money goes toward, we have picked two agencies on the opposite ends of the speculum."
Clearly I meant SPECTRUM.
I completely cracked myself up, but since no one caught it, I corrected and jumped back into my shpeil.
Bits, I will need to log at least at 11:00pm bedtime at your house from now on. Thanks.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Go Here if you'd like to read it!
And share yours! I'd love to hear what wisdom and insight you'd impart to yourself. :)
Friday, August 8, 2008
I'd appreciate your ideas to trump his trip and go somewhere cool.
Salt Lake City
that is the opening ceremony to the Summer Olympics ALWAYS makes me cry.
I just get all verklempt and emotional.
Something about fulfilling a dream and being on tv for a few billion people makes me weepy!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I have wanted for some time to start a topic of sorts on relationships, and am taking now as a critical opportunity to do so. Apparently the radio station I listen to has recently acquired a small magazine, and in the magazine is a column called "He Said, She Said", a sound-off on different issues with a man and woman weighing in their opinion. On the radio this morning, they asked the burning question:
"Can men and women just be best friends and no more?"
Somewhere in combination of my life experiences and what I believe to be common sense, I've formed the opinion that your best friend should either be your spouse or your same sex. I think we see a lot of teenagers and even people in their early 20's who can maintain these relationships, but I'm a firm believer that the older you get, you're looking for a mate, and the person who you confide and trust the most is one of the first people that you'll start to look at differently. Secondly, (and I need some married people to chime in), I think it's a very dangerous thing to have a BF of the opposite sex when you're married. It opens the doors for a lot of distrust and communication issues in a marriage. (Realizing I've never been married, but trust me... a guy in an office next to me is filing for divorce because the boundary lines got crossed.) The male radio host this morning truly believes (or played Devil's advocate well) that you can be without anything happening.
I do believe that there are exceptions to the rule on this... but the general majority is not the exception.
What do you think??
I'd love to hear from marrieds, singles, younger, not-so-younger!!! (Also, I'm opening unmoderated comments to start the rolling dialogue.)
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I'm sitting at the home of friends (whom I've stayed with for two days).
I've spent almost nothing in gas.
Things are peaceful.
Other than that, we are watching some show (not Jon & Kate plus 8), but another show about sextuplets (a family in Alabama). I am suddenly reminded of the old cliche that
"You are who you hang out with"
So... does that make me an old married couple?
Or a split personality?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Then I went home after that and attended the bowling birthday party for one of my favorite five-year olds.
Then I watched one of my roomies nail another room in the neck with an ice cream sandwich. (Hilarious!)
Yesterday, I attended the remembrance service of a 15-week old who passed away Thursday.
Then I came into work for five hours.
Then I ran errands.
Then I got home at 11:30.
Then I talked to my friends who have stayed with me all last week and are moving to Knoxville (officially) today.
And we all got in the bed (separate ones of course!) after 12:30 last night.
Then another friend calls me and asks me to buy her a pregnancy test today because she thinks she may be "with child". (And now I get to make up this great story about why I'm buying a pregnancy test! You can imagine how exciting my Monday is going to be!!)
(And no, my blog will not be turning into one of those blogs... fear not.)
And now, I'm at work. And it's Monday. And I have a crazy busy week!!!! Wow!!!!