Friday, December 29, 2006

... in ten minutes...

In the ten minutes since I last posted:

1) A good friend of mine told me about the best Christmas present shy of an engagement ring. Yay for you (you know who you are!!)

2) I am going to be the facilitator for a bible study at the FBC here in D-Town; the same place I went to the Daniel series. I am honored and excited, especially considering the fact that I am not a member!

3) God just opened a very exciting door for me that I can't wait to share!!!!!!!

It's only 2:20, and today has already been a great day.

12.29.2006

I've been very excited to hear that my friends are reading my blog. I'm a little ____ that you aren't leaving comments, but it's okay. :) (All you have to do is go add a blogger profile. You don't have to create a blog of your own.)

On to other things...

I am totally, completely, ridiculously ADDICTED to CSI: Miami. David Caruso is HOT to me. It's the whole "Redhead" thing. He's just mysterious, and cocky, and intriguing, and I love it. It makes me want to buy all the DVD's and watch them. I had a massive marathon this past weekend, and tonight, A&E will be playing episode for like ten straight hours. I can't wait. I haven't been this into a TV show in a long time. OOH... I have to mention My Boys on TBS. If you didn't watch the series, you can go to TBS.com and watch them all. I need to get on the forum and find out if the station is going to produce a second season. The season finale last night definitely kept me on the edge of my seat. I saved it on my roomie's DVR w/ Moxi so I can watch it again before she gets back.

I'm going to plan a baby shower for my best friend L. I got to see her (and a bunch of other people that I went to school with last weekend), but mostly just had fun with L. I am so proud of the woman and mother that she has become.

I didn't get to work until almost 1:00 today b/c of my lingering eye infection. If the next time I see you, I spray you down with Lysol, don't get offended. I'm actually protecting Me and You. :)

Gotta work a little while... Later!!!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #4

I know that most people don't make NYR, but I am making a few in hopes that they are realistic and attainable. Here are my New Years Resolutions! What are yours???

1. More intimate/Greater/Deeper time with God.
2. I want to finish 52 books this year -- that's one book for every week.
3. 7 states in 2007. I'm already planning to go to a few different states in the spring.
4. 25 Pounds. I lost 40 this year, so 25 should be attainable!
5. More time with my Dad and his side of the family.
6. Snail Mail. 2006 has been a good year for me to send letters, and I've thoroughly enjoyed doing so. I want to be able to, and make time to send more in the new year.
7. Let Go. Part of the way I was made, and part of the mechanisms that make up who I am give me a propensity towards holding on to things instead of releasing them. This year, I want to fully Let Go of those things that are holding me back spiritually and emotionally.
8. Share. I see stuff all the time that is funny and heartwarming, and I don't share them, through any medium. You all may be getting WAY more text messages this year!
9. Love. Part of #7. I want to love like I have never loved before! Honestly, if I loved people like God commanded me to love, then more people would totally like me. I'm not going for a popularity record, but I want people to see God's love through me.
10. Hugs. I realize this seems redundant and/or synonymous with #9, but I'm a firm believer that a hug can change your whole day. The affirmation associated with this specific physical touch has the capacity to change the molecular structure of the chemicals in your brain and make you feel better. I will try to find a link to show scientific evidence for this. I do realize that some people don't like hugs, but my theory (as much as that can be worth) is that those people sometimes are afraid to be vulnerable and openly love.
11. Handmade gifts. I want to be able to knit a blanket for everyone. I'm still VERY slow at knitting and crotcheting, but I AM working dilligently. :D
12. Being a servant. This was my sorority's motto in college, but I want to be doing MORE. We don't know the tree until we see it's fruit, and I think that's so true for our lives. I can't solve world hunger, but I can feed at least one person.
13. Pray. Maybe this resolution and #1 seem to be the same, which is fine with me, but I think it's fitting to start and end with God. It is the quintessential analogy for life.

So again I ask, What are your Resolutions for 2007?

Thursday Thirteen #3

Thirsty Thursday #3
Christmas Jazz!
1. If you want to walk on water, You’ve got to get out of the Boat by John Ortberg
2. Downpour by James McDonald
3. See the Morning by Chris Tomlin
4. Praise and Hymns by Passion
5. Over the Rooftops by Desperation Band
6. an awesome Liz Claiborne black purse -- no picture available
7. Vera Bradley small duffel Lime Green (it’s too cute!)
8. Pink Sugar
9. A new digital camera
10. Hobby Lobby gift card (for knitting stuff)
11. $$
12. Make-up
13. Memory card

12.28.2006

OOh! Lots to post today. I have two Thirsty Thursdays (because I am behind!), and other stuff.

Got to work at 8:40 this morning, and nobody was here. Sort of had one of those rapture moments where I thought I was the one who got left behind. My manager eventually showed up, but it was very funny nonetheless.

My friend A. came to visit her family and I got to have dinner, and brunch with her. We took lots of pictures ('cause that's what we do) and had good, uninterrupted time to talk. I'll try to post pictures later. I'm so thankful for my friends! I know that I don't always make it easy for them to love me, but I'm thankful for those who are true and stick by/with me. Also, a few of us are planning a weekend away, probably to the Redneck Wedding Capital of the World (Gatlinburg, TN) for this spring. For my friend M., I'm going to try to get tickets to the Dixie Stampede, or as she prayed once, the Damn Stampede. (It's a HYSTERICAL story.) Ha ha ha.

I'm excited about the Passion conference over the next few days! God is doing great things! I'm also pumped about a lot of new opportunities in my life! Yay!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

12.27.2006

I'm really behind in posting things, but wanted to write a little note today! Part of me wants to tell everyone what is going on, but the other part of me wants to wait until I have definitive news to share! Either way... life is busy and exciting for me.

The next three months hold an adventure that I am anxious but excited for. They are a time of restoration and new beginnings. My friend M. put this scripture in my birthday card -- "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history.Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands." (Isaiah 43:18-19, The Message) Really I like every translation, but the Message works wells. The NIV says "I am making a way in the desert, and streams in the wasteland". Sometimes, life is a wasteland. We get sucked dry of the vigor and zeal that we have. However, I can't help but get excited that God is doing a new thing in and for me! He is refreshing and revigorating the wasteland in my life. I love it!

2006 has definitely been an interesting year. I've already been a little introspective, but the pending NYE will bring much more. Frankly, I think it's okay... because I now know what I don't want to do in 2007! I have more goals, I want new things, different things, excitement in my life like never before.

Here's the nugget that I am sharing though: Stop trusting your feelings. They will deceive you. The Holy Spirit will give you discernment and intuition. Trust what you know. If you feel that tinge in your gut and it's telling you to run, then get your running shoes on. Don't stand around or move forward -- RUN. Too often this year, I have rationalized things to pieces, and in the end, I was the one that got burned. Reading old blogs and journals, I see where the Holy Spirit gave me GIANT RED FLAGS about situations and I ignored them anyway. God is still in control, but I know that I suffered more than I should have because I failed to heed what the HS was telling me. After what happened to me a few weeks ago, I also know that if you seek God about ANY situation, He will give you direction. It won't come in the necessary time frame that you think, but that's only because God gets the glory and we don't. Period.

I am simply Amazed at God's love for us. It is unfathomable and beautiful and unarticulatable and worthy of us giving our WHOLE lives back to God. Nothing less.

Monday, December 25, 2006

12.25.2006

Happy Birthday Jesus.

I don't know how I feel about that statement, celebrating the person who was born to die for my sins. But... I'm glad he was born!

Christmas was an experience, as usual, but I handled it MUCH better than I thought I would.

I will update soon! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with those that you love, and remember what CHRISTmas is really about.

Love,
Jenn

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Oh Dear...

This is wrong. Just wrong.

Silence is deadly; Silence is golden.

First, let me start by saying that I made a huge step and finally sent the friends closest to me this website. I actually blogged about it the other day. Anonymity is not always a good thing. Anonymity in a spiritual sense is deception and lies, and frankly I want no part of that any more.

In the last 24 hours, I have come clean to my family and friends about me. I am not going to say I'm horribly screwed up, because that is not the case. The reality is that I am human, and imperfect, and have made a lot of mistakes, and haven't always told people how I really feel.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be something different, and looked for means and ways to be different and start over. In some psycho-babble theory that's great, but I'm a child of God, therefore I'm just running away from my problems trying not to deal with them. NO MORE. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of bearing the burdens of secrets. I'm tired of feeling like I am the only one who hurts the way that I do. The bible study that I'm doing calls it seduction. Part if it I call learned behavior. We learn to repress those spiritual things and move on, get better, go higher, leap farther, (you get the picture), to keep those around us from knowing that we are ALL broken and bruised inside. I will not be told that anyone is exempt simply because I know it to be a lie. We have all been tempted and tormented with things. Some embrace them, and refuse to deal with Godly sorrow, others spend years in remorse, trying desperately to erradicate whatever they've done. Jesus, sinless and blameless, even reminds us that he was tempted. Satan wanted Jesus desperately... but instead he got his fate handed to him. Satan knows what is going to happen better than we do. He reads the signs of the times like the Washington Post. And he is pissed off, and wants to destroy us in everyway that he can to get back at God.

But for me... I say no more. I was reminded the other day that the whole armor of God does not include a back plate, because we are never to turn our backs on the enemy. He is out to destroy us. He is out to destroy our hopes and dreams, and families, and ministries, and anything else he can grasp out. He attacks us with sexual sin to destroy the very temple of God. He's just trying to postpone his inevitable demise into Hell. I have allowed the devil to torment me in ways that should have never happened. I have been deceived. Last Wednesday, my Mom prayed for me on my birthday by starting out with "Lord, 28 years ago, I gave Jennifer back to you." Therefore, by virtue of what I know in the deepest depth of my soul, I know that the devil only wants to destroy me because there is something so much greater planned for my life than what I'm in right now. (While I feel this deserves no explanation, I am not making "me" out to be more special than anyone else. God has promised different things to everyone, but this is my blog and this is about me.)

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See! I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

I've already blogged a few times how wild this year has been. Even the last two weeks have been more tumultous than I could have ever expected. But this verse is now my new favorite, because God is doing a new thing in me. He is ripping away the old things in my life that I have desperately clung to, because He has something wonderful for me... like the old song says "More than Wonderful". There is a cheesy line in a movie that simply says "Times... they are a'changin'." Yes they are.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Emergent Church

Over the past several months, I've been bombarded with information about the emergent church, what it means, and what affect it is having on traditional church. I'm not going to take time to debate what I feel.

What I did, was run across this article, and thought the truths from a man over 40 gave good perspective. Thoughts and comments are appreciated. :)

12.19.2006

Today is relatively unimportant. Okay... maybe to me. I'm sure it's critical to someone, a birthday, an anniversary, something, but to me... relatively unimportant. :)

I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately. I'm totally addicted to Post Secret (I actually bought one of their books), and ran across a similar blog site today, but it's really dirty, so I decided that I won't be reading that one. More than anything, I feel like I'm being nosy, but I justify this by saying that through the progression of technology and the change in what's cool (for example -- reality television) that my reading other people's public blogs is okay. In my defense, I am trying to let people know (by leaving comments) that I do read them, and in fact they are welcome to read mine. The only interesting thought here is that, most of my close friends do not have my blog address. I guess this makes it wrong, huh? I have made great lengths to be a more discreet blogger. I have a few other blogs, and in past have used them as a sounding board to attack people that I felt hurt me. I think I've even done it once or twice on here, but am trying to be hyper-conscious of that.

On to other topics...

Last night, I watched another one of the DVD's for the bible study that I'm doing. (When Godly People do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore) I just love Beth. Can I say that? She's encouraged me, and sparked so much in me. I just love it! I was hoping to get to meet her at Passion this year, but I don't think I'm going to be able to. So... I will probably just write her a letter and keep proselyting like I have been for people (women especially) to dig into a few of her studies.

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day. and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:8-9

So here are my questions:
1) What does the LORD God sound like walking through the garden? Does He crunch leaves too? I'd rather not get into a debate about whether this was GOD or a theophany because it's not really relavant. So again I ask, Does God crunch the leaves? Or does He make an effort to step over things?
2) What does the LORD God ask Adam a question He already knows the answer to? I'm with Beth in that, God asks Adam (and all of us) questions that He knows the answers to, to incite confession in us, so that we can draw closer to Him.

I wish I had a better medium to share all of the things I am learning. God is so funny to me. He's awesome, (please don't misconstrude me for being irreverent), but He is hysterical to me. In my own weirdo way, I am really intrigued by the first ten chapter of Genesis. God, in all his sovereignty and omnipotence, could have done things differently, and yet He didn't. Everything could have begun and ended in just Gen 1-3, but He allowed the rest to occur. I wish I could articulate all that says to me about God, and all that I think God is speaking through man, but I don't have the words. To know that God fashioned me in such a way, and my husband in a way that is complimentary, all in alignment with His (God's) personality, is indescribable. And breathtaking. And humbling. And just Cool.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Encouragement

"Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God." I Chronicles 22:19a

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in tents of the wicket. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Psalm 84:10-11

(I'm not blameless... not even close. But, I AM thankful for this promise.)

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." Habakkuk 3:2

What women want

I found this on a blog, and basically just stole it. I think it fairly accurately and simply describes what women need and want from men. If not... it's at least funny.


12.18.2006


Last night, my roommate and a few other people threw a progressive Christmas dinner party. The picture was taken during appetizers. We had so much fun and I thought I would share a picture from it.

Appetizers were fabulous. For dinner, we had spaghetti, and I had the privilege of entertaining Baby H. (She's such a cutie!) Desserts were at my house, and we really had a blast. One of the guy's father came in town, and I had the privilege to talk to him for about 30 minutes. ALSO... found out about a network that places private school teachers. Got online and applied this morning. One of the guys at the party mentioned that he was a math teacher and the Dad asked more questions. Turns out (the guy) just has a business management degree but, through this agency, was able to get a placement with a private school. So... for all of you in cyberland... please pray? I think it would be PHU-nomenal!

Also this weekend, my friend B. graduated from college! I cried at his graduation party. We all were able to say something to/about him and then we released balloons. I know it sounds cheesy, but it turned out to be one of those really special moments. I'm so proud of B. Part of me is sad that we have really grown apart, but I am thankful that he's turned into an incredible man. Yay B!

Other than that, I had a relatively normal weekend. Bought Christmas presents. Spent too much money; you know... the usual.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

So, I was looking at CNN.com today and ran across this article from Jay Bakker (son of former televangelist Jim Bakker).

Having gone through my own ridiculous crisis lately, I have a few questions for you.

I Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

So here are the questions and my responses. I appreciate your comments.

1) Is your love patient? No. My love has been patient (and still can be), but I'm notorious for being impatient.
2) Is your love kind? I'd like to think so. I do love people. I don't always know how to express things, but I'd like to think it's kind.
3) Does your love envy? I'm still battling this currently, so yes.
4) Does your love boast? Maybe by virtue of my doing this, I should be more convicted of boasting, even though (again) that is not my intention.
5) Is your love proud? Not sure. I had to keep my love for one person in particular in secret and it felt like it was killing me.
6) Is your love rude or self-seeking? Yes. Very emphatic.
7) Is your love easily angered? YES. (I feel more convicted now than I can say.)
8) Does your love keep a record of wrongs? I'm sad to say yes. That whole "He hurt me" line is running through my head and it sounds ridiculous.
9) Does your love always protect? No. I desperately want it to, but it doesn't.
10) Does your love always trust? No...
11) Does your love always hope? This is one of those questions I can answer a resounding (loud) YES. My love does hope. My love hopes beyond all the yuckiness I see as evidence and wants to see a miracle (not just in my life, but in everything).
12) Does your love always persevere? After the way I've acted the last two days, I must say no. Sometimes, my love does persevere; other times, I allow love to become frustrated and discouraged.

Maybe I should work more on answering these questions better...

12.14.2006

So... (the day after), I was thinking about my rather overly-emotional blog and decided that it needs to stay up. This is who I am. I am over my state of whateverness though. Thank you for any prayers.

Yesterday turned out to be a really good day! One my way home from work, TWO friends called who both had sonograms to tell me that they know what they are having!!! So, technically I got TWO babies yesterday as birthday presents. I know this makes me a giant cheeseball, but I love it. AND... I got a boy and a girl! I'm so excited for my friends!!!! And... I am working dilligently on knitting/crocheting baby blankets for each. :)

For dinner last night, we went to Olive Garden (Yay for Chicken Parm!), and my roommate made me a cake. It was an extremely moist chocolate cake with that creamy buttercreme icing with sprinkles. DE-LISH! They sang to me at the restaurant too,... (I wanted to crawl through the floor), and I turned bright red. But... I had a good time! My friends are good to me; sometimes (most of the time) I don't deserve them!

I talked to my friend M. last night for almost an hour too, and was so encouraged to hear her words. And we're going to make plans for New Years!!!! So... now I'm really pumped.

Tonight, I am going to the Atlanta Symphony with my friend H. and her husband J., and I'm very excited. Here's what I'll be wearing this evening too. (I get to recycle it for a Christmas party on Sunday.)



"For your Maker is your husband -- the Lord Almighty is his name -- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54:5

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Birthday

Today's the day... the Big 2-8. I have already cried this morning.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Unknown

"Take the cup I offer, and drink deeply of the dreams I dream for you." (Avalon)

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,..." Jeremiah 1:5a

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Quote

“When you choose to walk with Jesus in a culture that rewards those who take for themselves before thinking about others, you may end up feeling someone has taken advantage of you.”

Rueben Job A Guide to Prayer for All Who Seek God

12.12.2006

This morning I began writing this big blog about how I’m not excited about my birthday, and that my roommate is asking me to plan my own party and how that frustrates me… and I never finished.

I instead went at lunch and checked my myspace, and became even more broken hearted, and… here I am.

Here’s the skinny:
Tomorrow is my birthday. I love birthdays, rather, I love the excitment surrounding birthdays, but the actuality is that I have not really enjoyed my birthday in quite a few years. It has to do with my age. Tomorrow I will be 28. I am not married, and this, albeit a ridiculous thought, is something that I cannot shake, and I therefore become discouraged. I know that you’re supposed to be happy and blah blah blah on your birthday (God knows I give other people a hard time when they aren’t excited), but I am now a hypocrite as, I cannot muster up excitement.

Two years ago, I was at a miserable job and had a corneal ulcer on my birthday. A year ago, I had just completed my 90 days on my new job and I was in charge of planning the departmental Christmas party. This year I, have been kicked out of my house, had my ten year high school reunion, lived with a roommate for seven months (that’s HUGE), and had my heart broken. (I allowed him to break it, so I guess that makes me the stupid one, huh?)

I was thinking about the heart on the way back to work. There are an innumerable amount of medical journals and books about the workings of the human heart, defining shape, function, abnormalities, diseases, etc. Medical science has developed ways to correct problems with hearts from using pig valves to pace makers, to complete transplants, expanding arteries, and so much more. But they can’t fix a broken heart. Doctors can’t even see it. I know this is trite to somebody, but I have been praying for God to fix my broken heart. As much as I want to blame somebody else, it’s my fault. In case I have given anyone the impression that all is calm within, the fact is, that is a fa├žade, and within is tumultuous and empty. I know that the process takes time, but I keep finding ways to open up my own wounds and re-injure myself, and frankly, I’ve got to stop. My natural inclination is to run. I have these moments where I want to throw on tennis shoes and yoga pants and run like a mad woman. As though adrenaline will make all my problems go away. (Note: this is probably why I’m NOT a runner.) Other days, I want to move and get a new start and come back in five years and say “Ha… your loss”. But, I know God will never give me that opportunity because I know better and He keeps me humble. Alas, I must endure the brutally painful healing process knowing that God has bigger things in store.

Monday, December 11, 2006

12.11.2006

I have no idea how to start this blog today.

As of right now, I have started it three times, and erased each one.

This weekend... interesting. Life is interesting, you know? There are always surprises. Surprise #1 -- I actually taught myself to crochet and knit this weekend. My roommate has been trying to teach me how to knit, but it's been unsuccessful. But this weekend, I bought books and sat there until I learned. Right now I am very proud. Surprise #2 -- A friend has succeeded in doing something that I wanted to. He took the Math Praxis, and passed, and starts teaching in January. I'm not going to lie; I am SO jealous. I am rather aggravated with myself for being the perpetual procrastinator that I am. UUGH. Surprise #3 -- Church yesterday. My church doesn' t often NOT have preaching. Yesterday... was just one of those days that was different. I had to go to the alter and confess some anger and unforgiveness that I have been harboring. I have allowed a situation to continue to hurt me. And I had to go let it go. And Cry. I had to cry hard to release those things inside me that I couldn't articulate. And... God is good. I love that God wants us to do that, albeit brutally painful, for us to not hurt anymore. Maybe that's an oxymoron on a theological sense, but it makes sense to me.

I bought a few Christmas presents this weekend, but I spent WAY too much money. I did buy my Christmas cards, and even have a few ready to mail. There are even personal notes in them too. I'm excited.

My brother is in Utah, Salt Lake City, as a matter of fact. He's not excited about it either. In his way of being funny, he sent me a text last night to tell me that he would not go overboard and would only come home with three wives. He said four would be too many. (Please don't anyone take offense at that... it's JUST a joke.) He'll be back this weekend.

I went to Atlanta this weekend by myself. It was so theraputic. I miss my days of driving, and hate that I can't do it as often.

Okay... I'm totally boring, but I thought I would blog. Oh yeah... my step-brother is in jail, and in currently being arraigned to see if they'll release him or sentence him. Oi Vay.

Friday, December 8, 2006

12.08.2006

Well.. I hit another blocked site at work. This morning on the radio they played Elliot Yamin's version of Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas". Elliot reminds me of a guy I went to college with, but E's version rocks. Go to Aol music or ITunes and download it. It's really good. I may even spring for his Christmas album.

Funny thing... this morning I was putting my make-up on at my desk (at almost 10:00a.m), and all of this sudden this voice says, "Well Hey There Purty!" I almost poked my eye out with my eyeliner. Only in the south would something like that pass for acceptable. It was very funny.

I did not make it to Atlanta last night, because the only jacket I had was leather (not good for keeping out wind), and it was in the teens in the ATL. Plus, my car was almost blown off the road because of the winds, so I decided to head back home and chill. Did have dinner with my friend K., and we had a good time. Bible study was good too.

In other really exciting news... my service engine soon light came on a few days ago. It's repair (had it been significant) could have cost me upwards of $700. Instead, God healed my car and the light went off. (Turns out that I just didn't tighten the gas cap enough the other day and it threw my ultrasensetive Emissions system into a frenzy.) But... God is good all the time. And He heals cars in case you didn't know.

My weekend is now super-busy, but I secretly have a desire to go home and see my family. At the rate I'm going, it will have been an entire month since I've seen them, and sometimes, that's just too long. We'll see. I do have to find something to wear to the symphony this weekend, and may be driving back to Atlanta to find something apropos.

To all my friends who read this, my question is, just shy of world peace, absolving world hunger, or solving the national deficit, What Do You Want for Christmas?

Thursday, December 7, 2006

12.07.2006

First off... we got some snowflakes in Dalton today. Yay! I am hoping for lots of snow this year! I am probably the only one, but that's okay.

Here's my schedule for the next four weeks:
Last night -- Birthday dinner for K. She gave me the sweetest gift ever. I just love her. And... I totally cried at dinner. Sometimes, I'm too emo for my own good.
Today -- Atlanta
Friday -- Dinner with my friend S. from Nashville and J. from Benton (she's a SAHM -- it's a big deal)
Saturday -- Birthday dinner with M.
Sunday -- get to hear Gordon Mote. I may get to see Alan Jackson because of Mr. Gordon too. Now wouldn't that just be fabulous?!?
Monday -- Belly dancing
Tuesday -- God willing, I will be in Atlanta with Patrick Kerney shopping at Macy's. Ya'll keep praying.
Wednesday -- My birthday! (I know this is conceited and is a cheap ploy, but I really have nothing going on wednesday and I needed something.
Thursday -- going to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra with H., her husband J, and C. I haven't been to the Symphony in 17 years, and I am very excited. It's so beautiful. I will probably cry again too.
Friday -- Commissioning for my friend B. (I graduated from college exactly five years ago on this day.)
Saturday -- B. graduates and we have graduation party! I'm so excited.
Sunday -- Trip to ATL, and the Progressive dinner with roomie & friends.
Monday - Thursday -- Work and MUST finish Christmas shopping.
Friday -- Work, Home to WP, pick up JM at the airport.
Saturday -- Dad's anniversary, and Christmas with Dad and C.
Sunday -- We do Christmas Eve at my grandparents house. With my cousin being knocked up this year, this should definitely be interesting.
Monday -- Christmas Day!!!
Tuesday -- Chill and head back to my apartment. :(
Wednesday - Friday -- Work. Also, the couch at my house is being fixed by the manufacturer so I will be crashing on the love seat. :) Friday, I will also head back to WP.
Saturday & Sunday -- getting ready to celebrate New Years!
Sunday -- I will definitely be in ATL. I have not finalized what I'll be doing, but I have a few really good options!
Monday -- Happy New Year!! sleeping. :)
Tuesday -- back to work.

So... that's what's going on.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Comments

Okay... so I'm a big giant nerd, and didn't realize that I had to go into the "moderate comments" section and approve them. I thought you all were snuffing me.

Instead... I'm just a moron.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. This made my whole day... 16 comments!

12.06.2006

So today... I am over my temporary insanity blogged about yesterday.

Today has been fairly unproductive for me... but that's mostly because I chose not to be superproductive. Ergo... productivity is down. :)

I did run across an interesting article. (Go Here.) I'm not going to defend it, but I will say that there are definitely parts that I must admit are true. I've run across several articles as of late that discussed what I call diminished christianity, where people are being discipled and taught to disciple others with "feel good gospel". This articles intrigues me... to say the least.

Also (Drumroll please)... I am going to begin the arduous but delightful task of preparing and mailing Christmas cards. My goals are as follow:

1) 100 Christmas cards out. I have 400 friends on myspace... surely I can wrangle 100 addresses.
2) Personalize at least 50. I want to stretch beyond simply signing my name. Including a picture of myself will not happen, but a simple note to say more than a greeting is extremely personal to me. (For the record, I do not expect that from anyone in return. That's why it's MY goal.)
3) Photostamps. I've got to get on the stick and get the picture to them today or tomorrow in order for them to get back to me in time. I took a lovely picture in NYC in May and had them developed into photostamps and have become a convert ever since.
4) In the mail, and delivered to Your Doors by December 19.

I know... it's ambitious, but a girl's got dreams!

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

12.05.2006

Do you ever have those days where you just want to scream? Today's that day. The check engine light came on in my car. The teller at the bank processed a deposit $30.00 shorter than she should. And I'm frustrated.

I know this is one of those moments where I'm supposed to count my blessings. Yes, I have many. But I'm totally frustrated. I wish I could say that this was all I am frustrated about, but that's a total lie. I'm frustrated about alot of stuff.

Today I was thinking about my life and how different it is from everyone else (that I know) my age. And I don't think different is a good thing today. I know this is just me being frustrated, and I'll get over it. Just not in the next 35 seconds.

Today... this is not what I wanted my life to be. I am not where I wanted to be ten years ago. Approaching my 28th birthday, I find myself very frustrated. Yesterday, I was very excited about the prospect of winning a contest with a football player. Today, that seems totally inconsequential.

This is not a pity party. It's just lack of contentment with where I'm at. And today, I think it's okay to feel that way. I have more than a handful of friends who are having babies, and it's hard not to be jealous. It is sadly convenient not to be uber-compassionate when their bodies ache or creek, and they can't see their feet, seeing as how all of them wanted to have babies. I've also thought about the guys that have come in and out of my life in the last ten years. One of them, I was just awful to. He was wonderful to me, and I was a total brat. Now he's in a relationship and has a six month old daughter. And I'm still alone. Some call it Karma -- sometimes I call it karma -- others find it to be the consequence of the Golden Rule, and I can completely agree with that too. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I am totally reaping what I've sown.

Contrary to the diatribe, I don't want my life to be all about me. I want more. I just want more now, and I don't know how to quiet my desire. I don't want to be selfish, and self-serving. But I'm having a bad day. And that's my blog about it.

Dear God, there's got to be more. Help me to be patient while You figure out what is "more" for me. Amen.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Year in Review

So, I can't answer a few of these yet, but I wanted to post this for anybody else to answer. I also don't know why a few questions are missing, but ... make 'em up, I guess. :)

Jenn

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Tried to learn to knit

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? A few of them. Yes, I wil make more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Merinda. Yay for baby Jude.

4. Did anyone close to you die? A guy in my building. Not really anyone close.

5. What countries did you visit? USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Ha ha... I could be crude in answering this. Financial freedom.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Not sure yet.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Losing 40 pounds.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don't think I have any big failures this year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? My ankle (but it mostly hurt my pride.) :)

11. What was the best thing you bought? A new purse and Aigner wallet.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Why?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My ten year reunion.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2006? Stumble -- Natasha Beddingfield. Dontcha -- Pussycat Dolls. How can I keep from singing your Praise -- Chris Tomlin. Amazed -- Desperation Band.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? More blessed!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Read

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Jap my jaws!

20. How did you spend Christmas? Soon...

22. Did you fall in love in 2006? No...

23. How many one-night stands? None.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Grey's Anatomy & Biggest Loser.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No

26. What was the best book you read? The Five Love Languages

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Didn't have one this year.

28. What did you want and get? Later...

30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Devil wears Prada.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Soon!...

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? See question #6. Probably actually knowing who my husband is.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? I'm getting better. Slowly.

34. What kept you sane? God.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Patrick Dempsey. I can't help it. I'm weak.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? GAS PRICES.

37. Who did you miss? My far away friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met? All the women at FBC Dalton.

12.04.2006

I updated the links on the side. Burnside Writers Collective is now one of my favorites to check on a regular basis. It's just too funny. And Post Secret, is not for the faint of heart. Some of the secrets can be appalling, but the premise is what strikes me. We, as people, are more comfortable telling strangers how we feel than those we love. I am not exception. I want to send something in soon. And I might buy the book for Christmas. It would be an awesome coffee table book/conversation piece.

Life is busy. Had friends in town this weekend; as always, it's good to see them. Ran into a random person on Saturday that I haven't seen in seriously ten years. He was either interested in me at one time, or his sister put him up to it, because I still have a card that he gave me. I'm sure he's a wonderful person, but in my awfulness, I never gave him the time of day. Now he's married with a kid on the way. Karma.

I applied for a contest to win lunch and shopping ($1000.00 from Macy's) with Patrick Kerney of the Atlanta Falcons. You had to send in why you thought you deserved to win lunch and the shopping. Here's my response:

Five Reasons I want to Shop 'til I drop and have lunch with Patrick Kerney.

1) My dreams of being a trophy wife won't happen because I don't wear a size 2.
2) Patrick should be able to have the lobster.
3) Because I'm trying to get out of debt and Christmas will be slim this year.
4) Because you had mercy on my slightly pathetic list.
5) My 28th Birthday is December 13, and I can't think of any better early birthday present than lunch and shopping with Patrick!!!

Yes, I know it's a cheap ploy, but who wouldn't love to have lunch and $1000 with a professional football player?

Gotta get back to work... Hasta La Vista.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Holy Cow, it's December.

For the record, my birthday is in twelve days. I'm pumped.

Secondly, I was looking at a friends blog, and ran across a comment, with a link to this article about a scientific study on speaking in tongues. I'm very intrigued to say the least. This in a strange way reiterates what I believe as well. Neato.

Been really busy at work today. But,... that's a good thing!