1.5.07

Last night, I was betrayed. And it just hurt my feelings. But this I had this moment... not quite a revelation or ephiphany, but a personal, emotional milestone (if you will) in that... I didn't want to call anybody. And then I realized that I am not the woman I was ten years ago, or six months ago, or even three weeks ago. Then, I had to ask forgiveness for being angry, and started to read. I'm halfway through a book that I found by accident. It's not a typical book for me, it's blunt and calls things like they are, and surprisingly I love it. Random.

Also, I couldn't sleep last night. I called my brother and we wound up talking until about 1:30. I think my house was too hot. Also, in sad, unrelated news, I am unable to download pictures from my new camera to my computer. I have to purchase a USB 2, or a removable SD memory port that will work with a USB 1. It does mean that I won't be able to have those completely narcissistic moments where I take 40 pictures of myself trying to find the one good shot to change my myspace profile. See... God still works in mysterious ways.

Links

I updated the links today... added a few more too.

:)

1.4.07

Near the end of October, I spent the weekend with a friend of mine, and had the most incredible experience with God. During the Sunday morning service, God spoke through an older lady directly to me. That evening, in another church, in another town, God used an evangelist to speak to me again. I have not forgotten those experiences. This past Sunday night, at a New Year's Eve service, God used a third person to speak to me. I don't know why I didn't share that the other day, but I thought it was worth sharing today. In my life, I have gone through seasons where I feel like I can't hear God. THIS, is not one of those seasons. I don't think that God has ever spoken so loudly to me Directly. And while I think it's incredible and all, I think that I obviously need to be spoken to, or God would not go to this length. I'm listening... that's all I'm saying.

I have several scriptures taped on to a bulletin board, including Jeremiah 15:16. It was included in my daily devo this morning, with a brief story about the words that people say and how they affect us. I immediately thought of something that a lady told me when I was 12. We were standing outside of my church, and I had made some comment about my weight (I was 12, I mean seriously), but she reached down and poked my hip bone and said, "Girl, you can still feel your bones. You are not overweight. When you lose them, Then you have problems." I can't tell you why I remembered that, but it has always stuck with me. In the strangest times, I will reach down and feel my hip socket, just to make sure that I've not gone past the point of no return. Then I thought about all the junk that has spewed out of my mouth, in anger, frustration, times of deep hurt, times of disregard for the person/people I was talking to or about, and times of great personal transition. There is no way I can remember all that I have said or have any idea of what impact my words had. I wish that they had all been gentle, but I know that most of them probably have not been. Many times in great vain, I recited the benediction for my alma mater. May today be the day that I really take it to heart.

"So let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, My Strength, and My Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Tarheels

I completely forgot about this team. Lots to say... kinda. I will update again soon.

1.3.07

My brother sent me this picture this morning. This is the view from where he works.

What struck me is that THIS is new mercy. The Lord makes His mercy brand new everyday -- like the rising of the sun. The darkness has to flee. Almost indescribable.

On a totally different note, The University of Alabama finally has a head coach. Nick Saban is leaving Miami after he vehemently denied ever wanting to go there.

I got excited, then laughed at myself for getting excited over a football team. Then, I started thinking about my love of teams, and why I love them... and it's all about boys. I like teams because of different guys that I had crushes on. The only exception is Auburn. I know I have a few of you who are DIE-HARD Auburn fans, and that's fine, I still love you, but I loath and detest Auburn University with every fiber of my being. I have one picture from the time my youngest cousin was born (19 years ago), where I got to hold her and I'm wearing an Auburn sweatshirt. Somebody had given my brother and I similar sweatshirts for Christmas, and since K. was born Dec 15th,... that's why we are wearing them. So... in a completely un-religeous blog, here is why I have been interested in certain teams, and approximately what time frame.

Georgia Tech -- This is the oldest "fan-ship" that I can recall. His name was Chad Tidd, and he wore something Georgia Tech to school every day during 7th and 8th grade. And I mean EVERY DAY. Every undershirt that he owned was GT, and that's when I fell in love with Navy Blue. I was so infatuated with Chad! For the record, I do still keep tabs on him. He graduated from Clemson with a degree in Engineering, and lives in South Carolina, is very involved with his church, and is still unmarried. I'm not gonna lie -- I'm STILL holding out hope.

Alabama -- I've been an Alabama fan for a while. I worked with a redhead named Nick Benson (I had actually gone to Elementary school with him), and he was the most devoted UA fan I've ever met. It didn't matter what time of year, he always supported his team. I ran into him a few times before my sixteenth birthday, and then we worked together, then worked third shift together (just he and I), and kinda had a thing, but not really, because I was so naive that I thought he'd broken up with his girlfriend, when in reality, she was on vacation. She also was the one who broke into my car to leave me a note to leave her man alone. This is a very funny story for a later date. Another girl I worked with, Angel, was with me when I discovered the note. Aaahhh... young stupid love. Nick married a girl named Hillary and he' s a history teacher now. He's the Biggest reason I love Red Heads! Also, my brother bought me an Alabama license plate that I used until I wrecked that car. And I loved the color of my car because of the next guy. I'm still an Alabama fan because 1) my brother owes them $70K for his student loans, and 2) Bear Bryant, 3) My aforementioned disgust of Auburn, and 4) my love of crimson red. It's all about the blood of Jesus and the Crimson Tide.

Tennessee -- the Great love of Tennessee was because of a guy in high school named Patrick Doyle. He was in the saxophone section with me my freshman year, and then he was drum major my sophomore and junior years. (He graduated the year before me.) Patrick was a really interesting guy, and I had the BIGGEST crush on him. He wore dark teal Doc's and had a temper. He drove a light blue Jeep Cherokee (Bradley once rented a Jeep Cherokee b/c he knew I loved them; he just didn't know why, but it was b/c of Patrick). But, somebody (I think his Mom) bought him Tennessee Boxer shorts and T-shirts and being the devoted fan, refused to tuck in his shirts. During marching season, when he would direct, he shirts would come up a little bit and reveal the trim of his boxers. Go Vols. Coincidentally, this spurred my love for orange; I even had my class ring made with (brilliant orange) Padparascha sapphires instead of my very predictable blue birth stone.My very BF can attest to the fact that I became a Tennessee fan (and devoted for a long time) because of this crush. To my understanding, he's now a band director in Georgia, married a nice girl, and I would assume is doing well. Yay for Patrick.

Georgia -- I went to high school in Georgia and my parents still live there, but honestly I didn't really care about UGA until I started liking the last guy. It was totally an attention thing. There was a girl at Lee that was a big UGA fan, and I kind of envied her great passion for the team.

Other random sports facts related to me worth mentioning:

Auburn -- I already mentioned the sweatshirts. My dad is a huge Auburn fan. My step-mom graduated from Auburn, and she and my Dad have season tickets.

Florida -- I hate Florida as much as I hate Auburn. I had Florida because my step-brother Billy was obsessed with them. Plus, I'm not a big fan of Gators in general. They do get mad props for inventing Gatorade (the Original Lemon Lime is my all time favorite, followed by Watermelon All Stars). My friend Robert loves them, and has also been a good joke between us when any of the unnumerable teams I followed played them.

Ohio State -- I'm not really a fan, but I love buckeyes candy. My friend Mike makes the best Buckeye candy I've ever had. When the old gang ran around, I would root for OS because I loved Mike. I was indifferent to won the game between Florida & Ohio this year though.

Michigan -- My brother was obsessed with Michigan for a little while, so we all had the fever at my house when we were younger. (It was after my parents divorced but before I started high school. Circa 1989.)

Miami -- Only followed anything about the hurricanes because of my friend Brad. He had a bomber jacket that he almost wouldn't take off during football season. I should find a picture... very funny.

That highlights most of them. I root for Alabama, Tennessee, and Georgia. Alabama over all. Tennessee over Georgia. Florida over Auburn. Not that any of you care, but I thought it was fun to share anyway.

1.2.07

There are days when I really enjoy working where I do. My job is not hard – difficult at times, but definitely not hard. But today, everyone is here, all the doors are open and the entire floor is flooded with light. The wind is blowing outside, but inside, you would almost thing it’s spring. Today is the first workday of the New Year too.

I’m just in a really happy, upbeat mood, and I’m not completely sure why.

Also, my pants have some serious static cling, and every time I walk, I look like I belong in the ‘hood with one pants leg up. I think that my pantyhose are the culprits causing the cling.

Saturday I went and saw my Papa. I love him. He started talking about when he won’t be around, and frankly I just can’t take it. I teared up quite a few times and had to bit my lip to keep from cracking. I think he’s lonely, and the fact that my brother and I kinda suck as grandkids doesn’t help. But I do love him, even though I'm not so good about showing so as frequently as I should. I am however going to get him an Express pass to go through the toll bridge at his house. He decided that he would feel like JM with an EZ pass; he sorta got excited about that.

Our Biggest Loser final weigh-in is Thursday, and I can almost guarantee that I will not be willing. $700.00 would have been a nice belated Christmas present, but I have eaten poorly and haven’t exercised in a while. :(

My next few months are getting busier as time goes along: Baby shower for my best friend L., Mullet night Hockey Game in Knoxville (I’m pumped about that!), My Papa Calhoun’s 80th Birthday, getting ready for another shower for my friend K., LOTSA close friend Birthdays -- like 11 really good friends (the picture at the side should explain where you all will be getting your birthday cards), the illustrious Valentine’s day, a wedding in Florida, getting ready to be small-debt free, and of course my present situation, Year End.

There is a really big change that will also be happening in the next two months, but I’m not quite ready to blog about it… not yet.

New Years was really great! My friend M. and I went to College Park, Georgia to Creflo Dollar’s church to ring in the new year. If you haven’t been – YOU MUST GO. I have been to entirely too many churches in my life, but I can say that those were some of the nicest, most loving people I have ever met! The choir was incredible, and Pastor Creflo was hysterical. At around 12:20 a.m., he told the congregation that he was wrapping up his message, not necessarily because God was finished, but because he had Pancakes and Eggs waiting for him at the house. Too funny! M. and I didn’t get back to her house until 3:30, but we had a blast. This was definitely the best New Years I’ve ever had.

Also, the Silver Bullet is in the shop being fixed right now, so Y’all Pray Hard! She’s got a lot more miles to go on her! Also, I am driving my Mom’s truck… which is entertaining enough just at the thought.

My friend M. bought me a journal for Christmas; the first real paper journal I’ve had in almost 7 years. I blog regularly, but I don’t think that counts. I have a few journal entries for each of the years, but I’ve not been super dedicated since I started at Lee. I wish you all could read that journal; I was just a big ‘ole Dork back then. God REALLY has been merciful!

I’m trying to finish up my new book, and also getting ready to finish up the Beth Moore bible study I’ve been doing. The FBC bible study cranks up Tuesday, but I’d like to be doing another one at the same time.

I didn’t intend for this to be a long blog, but it is … L8G8R!

1.1.07

Heavenly Father, I want this New Year to be a year where I walk in Your will, not ahead and not behind. I want to know the plans You have for my life, and then I want to join You wherever You are working. Teach me not to rush ahead of You. Help me to stop to pray to ask for Your guidance before making any plans. Thank you that You promise that I will hear Your voice. Thank you that You have good plans for my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.