"and when I look at the stars"

I had good intentions to post this Sunday and then again yesterday and somehow that never materialized! sorry!!

Let me preface my post by saying this -- if I could undo my college experience, I would have moved my happy little butt across the U.S. and studied astronomy/astrophysics at the University of California Berkeley. I have ALWAYS been fascinated with stars and astronomy and the heavens, and was only too cowardly and dorky to do anything about it. But I love the study of the heavens and have since I was 7 in the second grade when we intensively studied Halley's Comet. With that said, any mention of Jesus and science makes me giddy inside.

Sunday, I had the privilege to watch Louie Giglio's talk from Chris Tomlin's most recent concert tour. (If you had heard it or heard about it, I apologize for the redundancy, but still think it's worth mentioning briefly.) The bulk of Louie's talk involves the enormousness of the heavens, stars specificially, in contrast to the minisculity of the earth and ultimately us in comparison to God. I should have done my homework and provided the statistical information (so bear with me).

The earth = holds roughly 6.2 BILLION people
The Sun = 93 BILLION Earths
Kanis Majoris (the largest star discovered to date) = holds 2.73 QUADRILLION earths.

"By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth." Psalm 33:6

YO. God Almighty BREATHED the stars into existence. Think in contrast of you spitting a spitball out of your mouth. Put that in context of God BREATHING the heavens into existence.

Feel Small Yet??

And yet...

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your words are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were writtein your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

There is nothing that we go through that God does not see. Our struggles are not immaterial to God, in spite of our seeming insignificant size. He created us. He loves us. He sent His son to die for us. More importantly, HE is on the throne working things out for us for His glory!

I post all this to say... I don't know the details of what you're going through, but I have faith to know that God is moving and is in control, especially when You can't see it.

upcoming...

• a new computer.
• a trip to New York City
• a trip to Mexico

Can I tell you how excited I am???

managable

Things I may be able to do this year:

• Donate my hair to Locks of Love.
• Payoff all of my credit cards.
• Make a dent in my student loans.
• Run a 5K

A girl can dream can't she?

cache...

i was going to do this really fun top 10 list of stuff, and then I got distracted.

then i was going to do a list of recent happenings in my life, and then I got distracted.

then i was going to try to finish the first one, and got distracted.

upon trying again, i got distracted.

ARE WE SENSING A THEME HERE?

Here's the recent highlights as brief as possible for fear of, well, another distraction.

• I received a big surprise at work on Monday.
• This further serves as confirmation that I am in the right place (location wise)
• I cried like a baby about it; it was so AWESOME.
• My friend Miranda is an official CleveVegas resident. I'm beyond pumped.
• We've been able to walk on the Breezeway twice in the last three days. Thrilling I tell ya'.
• Biggest Loser started last week, and it just makes me happy thinking about that show. Bob Harper -- such a hottie!
• Bible study starts up tomorrow night and I. CAN'T. WAIT. Beth Moore and my FBC ladies. It's almost too much!
• My bro started an awesome new job on Monday.

I've been telling my friends that since whatever funky fog has been hanging the last year has finally lifted, I'm a lot more vocal to tell you my opinion. I've mostly told people that this thing -- whatever it was -- kinda made me jaded, but I'd like to think in a good way. I'm still me. And after a year of feeling and internalizing everything like I have -- those days are finally over. Thank God!

... okay... I got interrupted again. I'm posting now, and I'll update later.

Nirvana

Further confirmation of why I think Dave Grohl is a cool kid.

Go here.

$$$

I've been identity thefted.

AGAIN.

:( Fortunately, my bank is going to put the money back in my account and prosecute (if possible) on my behalf.

Clarity

I'm waiting on some reports to be updated at work so that I can get to cracking... I mean, it's 10:38 and I've accomplished nothing this morning! Take that back... I did order a water bottle like the ones from the Biggest Loser b/c the stupid service wouldn't work yesterday, and I'm very excited.

As I type all of this, I am suddenly and acutely aware of all of the emails I am deficient in sending.

Whoops... my bad.

My distraction this morning came via the Ipod. I finally figured out how to use it yesterday, only because I actually tried. Genius, I know. Anyway. I have a LOT of songs saved on my computer at work. Songs I love 'cause I'm kind of a dork. Everything from movie soundtrack songs to Backstreet Boys, lots of worship, courtesy of Passion and Chris Tomlin, topped off with some Poison and Def Leppard. Def Leppard is my weakness y'all. Please NEVER give me tickets to a concert. I promise I will come home with less undergarments than when I left home. TMI? Who cares.

Okay... not so secretly, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to go see D.F. It would be the highlight of a decade. Undies and all. Did I mention LOVE????

Back to the point. I heard the faint lyrics of a song that I didn't realize I had nor had the track info populated this morning. It caused me to stop in my tracks. One of my idiosyncracies is that I relate music to my emotions. There are songs that, as soon as the intro starts, I break into a cold sweat, or start crying, or wig out, or something combination thereof. It's something I've done for the last fifteen years I guess, and I'm not sure how it happened, and I don't share the full extent of it with folks for fear that I may be deemed weird.

Let's face it. I'm weird. You're weird. It's not an issue any longer. There's not judgment here.

I have taken great strides to not hear this song in almost thirteen months. And yet, sometimes, you can't hide from your mistakes, or memories, but you have to face them. This morning's tune is "True" by Ryan Cabrera. It was my ringtone for a year and a half, and the sound of it would make me lose focus on everything else. I was focused on the emotions and the person tied to that song.

But today, it made me feel differently. I'm not that person anymore (can we all say AMEN?). The pain is fading. The love is gone. The truth is actually not so bad.

But mostly, this song, and it's memories, and it's ridiculous lyrics, are reminding me how excited I am about this year. I'm excited... (I can't believe I'm actually saying this...) but I'm excited about turning 30. I'm excited that this year will not be like the others. I'm excited about new memories!