Thursday, January 3, 2008


I'm waiting on some reports to be updated at work so that I can get to cracking... I mean, it's 10:38 and I've accomplished nothing this morning! Take that back... I did order a water bottle like the ones from the Biggest Loser b/c the stupid service wouldn't work yesterday, and I'm very excited.

As I type all of this, I am suddenly and acutely aware of all of the emails I am deficient in sending.

Whoops... my bad.

My distraction this morning came via the Ipod. I finally figured out how to use it yesterday, only because I actually tried. Genius, I know. Anyway. I have a LOT of songs saved on my computer at work. Songs I love 'cause I'm kind of a dork. Everything from movie soundtrack songs to Backstreet Boys, lots of worship, courtesy of Passion and Chris Tomlin, topped off with some Poison and Def Leppard. Def Leppard is my weakness y'all. Please NEVER give me tickets to a concert. I promise I will come home with less undergarments than when I left home. TMI? Who cares.

Okay... not so secretly, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to go see D.F. It would be the highlight of a decade. Undies and all. Did I mention LOVE????

Back to the point. I heard the faint lyrics of a song that I didn't realize I had nor had the track info populated this morning. It caused me to stop in my tracks. One of my idiosyncracies is that I relate music to my emotions. There are songs that, as soon as the intro starts, I break into a cold sweat, or start crying, or wig out, or something combination thereof. It's something I've done for the last fifteen years I guess, and I'm not sure how it happened, and I don't share the full extent of it with folks for fear that I may be deemed weird.

Let's face it. I'm weird. You're weird. It's not an issue any longer. There's not judgment here.

I have taken great strides to not hear this song in almost thirteen months. And yet, sometimes, you can't hide from your mistakes, or memories, but you have to face them. This morning's tune is "True" by Ryan Cabrera. It was my ringtone for a year and a half, and the sound of it would make me lose focus on everything else. I was focused on the emotions and the person tied to that song.

But today, it made me feel differently. I'm not that person anymore (can we all say AMEN?). The pain is fading. The love is gone. The truth is actually not so bad.

But mostly, this song, and it's memories, and it's ridiculous lyrics, are reminding me how excited I am about this year. I'm excited... (I can't believe I'm actually saying this...) but I'm excited about turning 30. I'm excited that this year will not be like the others. I'm excited about new memories!

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