I took my blog down for the first time ever this morning. I needed to clean up some stuff. Seems to be a metaphor for life, dontcha know? I actually, for the first time in a REALLY long time, removed an entry. I obviously didn't delete it, but raving like a lunatic is getting old.
Last night, I worked late, got home late, and had completely forgot about the bible study at my house. When I got home, there were people having dinner. I was on the phone, and literally did not speak to or look at anyone, and I didn't come out of my room for an hour. I was actually deep in conversation, but also I just wasn't up to putting on a happy face to deal with folks. I left bible study early, and then wound up hanging out with a good guy friend of mine. And as I was pouring my filtered frustrations to him he said:
"Stop getting offended at everything, Jenn. We lost the right to get offended when Jesus died for us on the cross."
I know he's right. I don't necessarily think I get offended at everything, but I do get aggravated at alot of stuff, and it probably comes across as being offended. I totally get my feelings hurt alot. But I don't think I look at it as offense. I kind of look at it as people being inconsiderate and rude, hence my aggravation. But the flip side is: I disappoint people all the time, by being inconsiderate, and therefore lose the right to feel that way, or at least that's how my little brain processes things. And, in the aftermath of me looking foolish and talking out of my frustration, my good friend did the nicest thing.
He gave me a hug.
Not a dirty hug, or inappropriate hug, but just a good, tight hug. He recognized that I just needed a hug. And it blessed my little heart. Coming from such a huggy family, and a huggy home church, and even a pretty huggy college, I have discovered that in adulthood, hugs are in short supply. (That's one of the reasons that I pray for a husband so intensely too.) I am thankful that my friend took the time to recognize that I don't always need words and advice. I need physical affirmation that I'm gonna be okay.
Go hug somebody.