Tuesday, December 18, 2007

**Warning** Enter at your own risk.

That's all I can say. I have been unbloggy, unemaily, relatively unsocial due to being trapped in my thoughts and such for the last few weeks. But the fog, IS LIFTING, and leaves me with the urge to share what I've been thinking about lo these last few weeks. But it's like watching a birth, it's gross and kinda nasty, but something good comes out of it. Should you choose to keep reading, thanks.

I do not deal well with the holidays. Some hairy combination of Thanksgiving, My Birthday, Christmas, and New Years, being alone (no spouse y'all), parents divorce, sometimes makes me crazy. Okay, so it's made me kinda crazy for a lotta years. Most of it is self-induced disappointment that I am not at the place in my life where I thought I would be and that I am somehow not the woman that I thought I would be.

I mean, surely by now, I expected to be a wife and mother.

And nary, I have not a pet.

But I have ridiculous allergies and really am not that crazy about animals anyway. Except for Panda Bears and we ALL know about their excessive presence in the South. Right.

Back to what I was thinking. Several weeks ago, I was running late for work and took pictures of the leaves changing color. It was truly spectacular, and was both literal and metaphoric for me. The season in my life was finally changing. The year that, for all purposes, has SUCKED, this year that I have spent grieving and healing, is finally, FINALLY coming to a close. And with it, my 20's are wrapping up. I don't want to spend the next twelve months of my life the way that I have spent the previous twelve months. And let me backtrack and say how blessed I have been to spend some of that time with family and good friends that I love, admire, and respect. But it's time for me to "get my head in the game", if you will.

So... here's to a new year, with new blessings, deeper relationships, greater truth, and more love.

"Don't just pretend that you love others. REALLY love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9-10

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