Saturday, August 28, 2010

it's meeting the man of your dreams… and then meeting his beautiful wife.

As I write this, I can’t help but find the irony (get it?) of Alanis Morrisette’s song and how it applies to my oh-so-interesting day Thursday, also one of the occupational hazards of being a single woman.

I need to preface what I write with this: these are my thoughts. I would never in a million years cross any lines because that’s not me. If after reading this, you feel an urge to berate me in the comments, suppress it. I will probably retaliate and you'll regret your choice.

There is a guy that I work with that I have talked via phone to for the last five years. He has the best phone voice, a combination of Good ‘Ole Boy and college education. He is funny, and we’ve talked about everything from church to politics to family. He is married with 2 kids and he knows I’m single.

Thursday, I had to pick something up from him. Despite the fact that we’ve corresponded for so long and that we’ve been a quarter mile from one another all this time, we had never met.

I tend to find 90% of men attractive. I rule them as completely disgusting after I witness something they do. There are exceptions, like the Great Date Escape of Oh-10. Because I lean toward the almost-always-attractiveness-line, I rarely have anyone take my breath away. In my 31 years, I’d say like twice, tops.

But this guy took my breath away. It happened so fast and so instantaneously that it scared me. He walked away from a meeting to stand beside me and all I could think was ala-Joey-Russo – “Woah!”. I mean, WOAH is right. He wasn’t one of your typical drop dead gorgeous guys. (I tend to lean toward the non-traditional hotties anyway), but something about him got me.

I know this is going to sound just as crazy, but I’m telling you I had one of those movie moments where I know he felt it too.

And it scared the bah-ju-ju out of me.

Lest you all think I’m some marriage-breaker-up (WHICH I’M NOT), please know that nothing and I mean nothing will ever happen. I value marriage. What I did realize is that I miss, and I long for, THAT feeling. Someone to take my breath away.

It’s so easy sometimes to fall prey to the thoughts that settling is an option. If you knew what I’d been entertaining the last few weeks some of you would be ashamed of me. I am 31. I’m still single. I’ve foolishly focused some attention on a guy thinking that he should love me! Writing that down is as preposterous as the thinking behind it. I shouldn’t have to negotiate with anyone for them to love me. Regardless of the awesomeness I bring to the table, love should never be forced. Or contractual. It should just happen naturally.

It should be someone taking my breath away…

I think.



Critty said...

I should take our breath away....and I know at 31 those moments are so few and far between....when it happens for just a moment there is such longing. Wishing.

At the same time I can't help but think that that moment gives you hope for a future moment with the right guy.

Sigh. Being single sucks sometimes.

In other interesting news I heard that song on a major ATL station on Thursday. I found it odd...then I saw your title and was like how odd...I just heard that song. It was a favorite in High School.

Mimi said...

First if anyone berates you for your honesty, I'll come after them too, lol!

Second, you totally want that take your breath away. It doesn't always have to be the looks that brings that feeling on. Chris & I are celebrating 7 years married (we've been together for 11 1/2) and he still takes my breath away.

He will come, I beleive it!

slommler said...

Well what a bummer. He took your breath away and he isn't available. That just sucks. But it also means that "he" is out there...somewhere. The one who will take your breath away and you can enjoy it!!!
Hugging you

Kristine said...

:) My college dean once advised me at 21 that when to comes to guys to, "hold out for the joy". The older I become, I think the more I respect her advice. I'm glad you had a moment of joy :)

Randomly Royce said...

Thank you for sharing. I know being honest is hard. Especially online. I encourage you in your wait. This may not sound right but I'm glad that you were able to have your breath taken away. It means you're still human. That you haven't closed off your heart. I'm proud of you for knowing the difference between appreciating God's creation and lust. Not that you lusted. Ummmm I'm gonna stop now. I just wanted to encourage you.

Staci said...

I'm waiting on that same thing, girl!!