Sunday, August 8, 2010

oh sunday eve.

This weekend, I have been a BUSY girl! 

Friday night, I helped decorate for a friend's lingerie shower.  I wasn't feeling well (and I'll expand on things in a moment), so I headed back home.

Yesterday, I woke up entirely too early, did my workout in blazing heat, took care of laundry, and finished off last night with a birthday dinner at Hooter's for my friend Josh followed by two hysterical rounds of miniature golf!

Today, got up early, talked to my brother for a bit, went to an AWESOME church service, and then headed back to the Vegas and then Knoxville for another birthday party tonight -- a viewing of The Other Guys and dinner at Pei Wei.

And I arrived home to find my rarely here German neighbors having blocked half the driveway, and a giant puddle of water in my house.

GOOD TIMES, I SAY.  Good times.


I am... struggling.  Struggling with some things that I don't know how to process any other way but by prayer.  I KNOW that God answers prayer.  I've witnessed it, I've been on the receiving end of it, I know it works.

And Friday night, amidst my already feeling bad, I was sort of overcome with emotion and wound up crying the entire 40 minute ride home.

It's a feeling that I can't quite articulate (I find myself not being able to articulate a lot of things lately!), but this one really bugs me. 

It's an uncomfortableness, of sorts.


On Friday night, I drove around my Alma Mater.  I am so blessed to have gone to Lee University.  It's not a school for everyone, but it definitely was the perfect fit for me.  This time each year is so special to me, because August 19th will be my 11th anniversary of moving away from home. 

I left all the security blankets I had and took a giant leap of faith by moving away.  Lee has such special, wonderful memories for me, and I can't imagine what my life would have been without that place.

Who I would be without that place.

And maybe all this introspection comes from that.  Remembering the naive 20 year old I was.  Never been kissed.  Never been loved.  Never been away from home for that long.  Never stepped out with that kind of faith before.

As I was driving around campus, I was struck at how much has changed physically.

And yet, my memories are frozen in time.  Stuck in that first dorm room.  Stuck waiting in the lobby for those boys!  Stuck on the ped mall for the most hilarious story.  Stuck.

Maybe I'm stuck??????

Maybe... I'm stuck.



slommler said...

Boy you were a busy girl!! A shower and two birthday parties...wowzers! Great picture by the way of you and the girls!!
Yes He does answer prayer and especially when you can't articulate what is making your heart heavy. He knows and He has a way for you!
How wonderful for you to have such special memories of your Alma Mater. It is good to re-visit a place that changed your life for the better. My school is far away...but I too have fond memories and it changed me for the better too!
We are both blessed!!

Critty said...

Sounds like a good weekend with lots of friend time. And I know exactly what you mean about the college you attended.

I know what you mean about that uncomfortableness. That stuck feeling. Both have been a BIG part of my life this year and it has left me feeling... well...different. I am still processing it all and trying to figure out if different is good or bad.

I am stuck emotionally too....I know this.

And I don't even know how to go about fixing that. (ha...I am giving you a preview of my post on Thursday about being stuck and uncomfortable in my own skin.....)

Praying for you... sometimes just knowing someone else is praying along with you helps.


Gina said...

Praying with you.
Someone sent me a quote the other day
"Tears are liquid prayers that need no interpretation." -C.H. Spurgeon.

It fit where I am right now very well.
God knows and hears even when we can't figure out what/where/who/anything.


Mimi said...

Oh I hope you can get unstuck. I have the exact same feeling in my life right now.