Wednesday, September 6, 2006


It’s 11:00, and I totally can’t concentrate this morning. I have so much on my mind, and no desire to do very necessary and very time-constrained work. Part of me wants to go to lunch, but I’m not hungry, so I realize it would only be to get out of the building. Part of me wants to leave early… well I want to leave early most of the time.

Yesterday was just bad. Last night after I got off of work, I called my mom, partly to vent, and partly just to talk. I had planned on going to a new bible study around 7:00, so I was trying to kill time until it started. To my frustration, she was in a foul mood, and was not very nice. I practically hung up on her, and headed home. As I was driving, I realized that in that very moment, a new bible study was where I needed to be. So with that said, I started going to FBC (No, I’m not switching denoms, because I just don’t agree with the Baptist doctrine – gotta have the Holy Spirit!). They started the Beth Moore bible study on Daniel. Can I just tell you how much it rocked??? It was awesome, and I am so glad that I went. There are about 20 women (only one of whom I know). I did make them laugh; we went around the room and introduced ourselves, and they all shared how long they had been members at First Baptist. I decided to share that I was born and raised Pentecostal. Quite a treat! :) And this is not your average puny bible study, where you get together once a week and share. The video last night lasted an hour, and it’s a meaty message, not some bottle junk. I love it. And I am both encouraged and challenged by it. I don’t want to be mediocre, assimilated, or irrelevant. I agree with Beth,… that is not what God intended us to be. So… if you get a chance, let me tell you that it will be well worth any investment.

I think my bad attitude yesterday is a combination of not enough sleep, and just running myself emotionally and physically ragged these last few weeks. So, I still have lots of room for improvement and growth, and… it’s not about me anyway. In spite of the fact that I get my feelings hurt at little things, I don’t want to fail to show God’s love. Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you…” And… my days are long from being free! After the reunion, life will not slow down, in fact I believe it will speed up, but that’s okay! And I am really excited. I’m excited for all the new adventures that are coming my way. There is the strong possibility of a new career on the horizon, so if anyone thinks to pray for me… thank you in advance for your prayers! I need them!

I did get asked to give a recommended book list:

If Men Are Like Buses, Then How Do I Catch One? Michelle McKinney Hammond
I love this book for so many reasons, but mostly because of the incredible prayers at the end of each chapter. They are raw, honest, revealing, and empowering for a single woman… any woman who needs encouragement.

Ruthless Trust Brennan Manning
Trust is just that … Ruthless. It’s not easy, and takes work, but the more we trust God, the greater capacity we are to be used by God. I recommend this book be read slowly, almost like a study guide. There’s a lot to absorb, and think about and pray on. It’s awesome.

For Women Only Shaunti Feldhahn
This book was written for married women, but truly opened my eyes to a few things about men, and the way that God hardwired them. I am a conversational convert! It challenges us to remember that life and relationships are not about US.

The Day I Was Crucified Gene Edwards
I can’t remember how I found this book, but it is a first person account from Jesus Christ about his time from the Garden of Gethsemane until after the Resurrection. It is so vivid and really gives you a chance to deeply speculate about what was going on in Jesus’ mind. If I could give out a book to every new person I meet, this would be the book. I am so thankful that Jesus took the Cup of Iniquity for me.

Fasting Jentezen Franklin
Other than the bible, I have never digested a book so quickly and deeply. It costs around $18.00, and is approximately 120 pages long. It put sacrifice into a whole new perspective for me. This book truly changed my life.

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