Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Today is one of those days that I’m in a bad mood, and just feel like everything I do is totally worthless. I need Jesus today. Bad.

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirst for you; my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up mine hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63: 1-8

I actually feel better. I have been in a horrible mood today, but when I am, is usually when everything kinda goes wrong. There are some days, I think I should just not be an accountant… I should cut grass or something. Then I remember my ridiculous allergies and am thankful for my indoor job.

I was reminded of a very personal situation in my life, and how through the most miniscule thing, God kept me safe. God is good… all the time… even and especially when I am weak.

Family Drama: for those of you who don’t know – my 18 year old cousin graduated from high school, and less than 24 hours later, moved in with her boyfriend. In the big picture, it’s not really a big deal. She is choosing her life. The chaos that has ensued is just ridiculous, and yes, the police have been involved. Keli is still not home, and frankly, I wouldn’t want to go home anyway, but my family is still flipping out. This has been a long time coming. It’s very sad, but I know God is in control, but this is Keli’s freewill…

Along with that has been many a sermon about how bad myspace is. And so here is my vent: I am SICK AND TIRED of hearing the news and pastors bash myspace. I don’t think it’s some sort of haven for perverts, nor do I think of it as perfect. It’s just a program and giant server. Bear with me: Keli’s myspace has been littered with all kinds of stuff, including some very risqué groups that she’s been a part of, glittery playboy bunny icons, blogs about ‘what girls like’ and a bunch of other crap. My family, even after my making them aware, chose to ignore what her “space” said, and made me feel like a terrible neice/granddaughter. The same goes for a lot of youth in churches… there are kids who DESPERATELY need someone to reach out to them. They are putting their lives online, because face-it, we can now, and no one seems to be impacted until DateLine does a special about myspace predators. They continue to ignore what is right in front of them. My Grandmother and I have had repeated discussions about her desire for me to delete my myspace account, and my insistence that I am 27, and that I just won’t do it. I realize that this little rant is all over the place… but stay with me. Sunday morning, my mother’s pastor gets up and preaches a sermon about the woes of myspace, and how it’s terrible. He also references “EMOS”, and says “I don’t really know what they are. I mean, they could be little gremlin looking creatures for all I know.” And,… I sort of lost it!!! Why, OH WHY, are you preaching a sermon without doing any kind of research? Why doesn't the church CARE enough about the teenagers in your church to see what’s going on instead of preaching an unfounded, uninformed sermon at them and their parents??? I’m just tired of it. I said something to the pastor because it really upset me, and he just laughed and said, well… my computers broken right now, so I’ll have to figure it out eventually. This is from a pastor who doesn’t own a tv. I am not judging him for that, because I know TV is crap. But I believe that we are to be “in the world, and not of the world”, not “In the world, and hidden under a rock”!!!! It’s exasperating.

As far as my cousin, I am probably a little too whatever about the whole situation, but she’s having this “prodigal child” time in her life, and all I can do, all anyone with good sense can do, is pray for her, pray for God’s protection over her everyday, and for her safe return to her senses and to salvation. And I’m praying for my uncle and aunt to have good sense for what appears to be the first time in their life.

Today is six months until my 28th birthday. 30 is ENTIRELY too close...

Well… I have rambled quite a bit, so I’m going to stop now.

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