Food for thought.
So, I bought another book. Big surprise. This one is “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldman, and I mean, it’s AWESOME. So, I share with you this nugget of wisdom paraphrased (somewhat) from the book.
“Wives, submit to (respect) your husbands as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
“ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25
I’ve only read about 50 pages in the book (this makes ME a slacker), but what the entire first portion is about is Respect and Love and how men and women are designed totally different. We give what we want, but fail to give what the other person really needs. We women will tell our men “I love you” but fail to show them respect (or affirmation) in the ways that they need it. They need to be trusted and their worth valued, even in the smallest things, such as fixing a tire or letting them drive and not force them to stop and ask for directions. Men (most, not all) respect us by their actions, but have a more difficult time saying “I love you” to the depth that we want. But the reason for the scripture is that we are admonished to give what our spouse or significant other needs (I’m husband-less… remember that). It’s made me think about the relationships I have been in, as well as the dynamics of the relationships of family and friends, and where I see shortcomings. I am not pointing fingers, because I realize especially now how faulty I have been. The man that I really love, I fail to respect. I have fallen short so many times, and now think, “Well, DUH”. Even in the most mundane ways, I have failed to respect him, and there is no conclusion except to see this as one of the greatest reasons our relationship went nowhere. I think about my first love, and although I was naïve, I was following the path of family and friends to my detriment. This is not to say why things didn’t work out, (I believe that to be divine intervention), but I see why the pain lasted so long for me.
I’m able to see better in family and friend relationships too. My grandparent’s marriage is not perfect, but I see where my grandmother learned this rule. My granddaddy can make fifty things out of wood, but she is so proud and forces us to look at everyone of them. What we see as redundant, my grandfather sees as respect… and therefore… LOVE. He is proud, and we should be proud, and this all equates to Love as he understand it best. It is simply the way God wired him.
The book also talks about the “Nag” factor, and how we destroy relationships by bad-mouthing and venting when there is no need. Again… GUILTY. And I wonder why I’m not married. I can’t stop talking about some poor guy long enough to celebrate the best part of him. More on that later.
There’s still a lot more to the book and I am excited to read.
As far as other stuff… I have to go to Charlotte this weekend (this will be the seventh weekend I won’t have been home straight), and I have three more after this. I really am enjoying living with another person. I am hesitant about a new roommate, but I know this is me being prepared for a spouse. So, Yay.
Supposedly, my cousin is getting married July 1. We’ll see.
Work has been B-A-N-A-N-A-S. (Sing along with Gwen’s version… it’s much prettier!)
I had to get my car fixed, but got to eat lunch with some old friends and see my former boss. You can imagine that was very interesting.
Uploaded a few old pictures to my myspace slide show to really showcase my hair through the last five years. My, My, what a Wild Ride! I think that’s all.
OOH… if you haven’t heard her yet, you should go listen to Vicky Beeching’s “Captivated”. It’s incredible. Way to go U.K. :)