05.13.2006

So, I have my page open in another browser and am listening to "Beautiful Love" by The Afters... and I'm just happy. Keep in my mind, my family is about to have to endure a few surgeries, two members are going through physical therapy, my cousin just broke up with her first love, my house is a disaster because I am moving, ... but I'm in this really happy place in my head. God is so good, and SOVEREIGN, and In control, and I don't know what he's doing, but here's to Him doing something Good that furthers His Kingdom, and is for His Glory.

I'm so thankful for things in my life! I found picture of me and BW... and it made me glad that I experienced that, but thankful that I'm not married to him, you know? I'm glad he and his wife A. are happy and are expanding their family. I've looked through other pictures of people I love, yes, there's one other person in particular, and I see two things -- 1) all the many mistakes I made, and 2) I've been blessed with peeps in my life. I'm not proud of anything I did, and I know it was wrong. I also know that I can't undo anything, but move on. I still beat myself up about it, and it's hard and takes time to stop doing that, but it will happen, and regardless, I'm thankful for that person in my life. Who knows?!? There are other new people (Okay, I think we all know I am talking about guys), but I don't know where everything stands right now. Segway... I was also thinking that my life hasn't been so boring or dull. I really am so blessed. I am so thankful for this season of personal redemption, and thankful for future redemption!

Ginny Owens has a song out, and there is a line that is worth sharing, because I've been very encouraged by it:

I can hardly wait until the time
when you will turn my darkness into light
and i'll finally find my way to heaven's door
where i won't need my faith anymore.

It's inspiring and awesome to know that one day, we won't need our faith anymore. There will be no more need for trust, or mistrust... it will all disolve away. Sometimes, I can't get my head around this, but know that THIS is true, and will come to pass sooner than we think!