Tuesday, May 6, 2008


It's May y'all.

I mean, I didn't wake up and realize that or anything (believe it or not I work and have to write the date all the time), but it HIT ME that it's May. And that summer is approaching. It kinda hit me in a really stupid place.

It hit me watching commercials that were talking about series finales... because ugh, summer is upon us.

And it makes me feel a need for some sort of reinvention. Maybe the whole list thing didn't help. Or the fact that I'm listening to Dave Barnes wishing I had a boyfriend.

Did I just type that? You didn't read it. You read nothing.

Maybe that's a really random thought to have, but I doubt for one second that I'm the only one having it. (The REINVENTION, y'all. Just the reinvention part.) This is, (and I can't believe I'm sharing this) one of my biggest fears/reservations about marriage.

Will my spouse feel the same need for occasional reinvention that I do?

Will we have it at the same time?

Okay, so typing that out makes me feel ridiculous, but I think about the relationships I've had, and looking at those people and who they are now versus who they were then, I can see really clearly that we weren't moving along the same road at all. We just met at a gas station, if you will. A pit stop. Kinda like driving into the pit at a Nascar race, just getting the tank filled, or new tires, or a potty break.... being attracted by the lifestyle, the fast cars, the adrenaline, completely unaware that those cars aren't made for two people, and that life isn't lived on that track. (Miran, don't you love the Nascar analogy?)

And I have friends that, it's so easy to see how they've grown forward together, and how beautiful that is.

And THAT makes my Single-girl-looking-for-God's-Best-for-me-heart happy.

And it makes me pray that I stay as acutely aware as possible of what's going on in life, not just my own, and never get too selfish to grow.

I have no idea where this came from.

What I do know... this is the last year of my 20's, and I don't want to waste another moment.

There are some thoughts in there that may also be used to relate to my issues with hair, but let's save that for another blog, K?

One Day at a time, y'all, One Day at a time.

1 comment:

jonathanstone said...

Jenn, I love your current 'reinvention,' and I'm sure Emily will too, as she's a huge Wonder Woman fan! :) I've been doing some 'reinventing' myself!