04.25.2006

Today... was a lot of fun.

I have really been doubting alot of things in my life, but I am assured that I have an incredible job. I have really testified about God's greatness in my getting this job, and I know in the depth of my heart that I couldn't ask for anything more. For four days (starting yesterday), I am in an orientation training. Yes, I have been there for seven months, but this class has been so packed, and now is the earliest time I could take it. Yesterday, was fun. Today... was awesome. We went to Fort Mountain State Park, past Chatsworth, for a team building day. I got sunburned, ran ALOT, and my team won second prize after I successfully failed duplicating a project from my senior physics class. :( But... it was still awesome. I have met a few truly incredible people.

As far as trust goes... I am still learning about trust. Some trust is inherent, but for me, most trust is a very conscious choice. I am good at giving the benefit of the doubt, but relinquishing total responsibility is a whole new adventure. But... I'm trying. I'm reading Brennan Manning's book Ruthless Trust, and it's helping.

"The challenge to actually trust God forced me to deconstruct what I have spent my life constructing, to stop clutching what I was so afraid of losing, to question my personal investment in every word I had ever written or spoken about Jesus Christ and fearlessly to ask myself if I trusted him."