Tuesday, April 3, 2007


Last night was relatively quiet at my house. Relative in terms that, there was not a crowd there. Kinda bittersweet -- I love the crowd, but I also need quiet time. I'm running on the assumption that it was a good thing, though.

A friend of mine stopped by the house just to chat, and ultimately pour his heart out. He's going through a lot, and just needed somebody to talk to. It was good to be able to listen. It was really good to not be alone. (Kinda contradictory in lieu of my "quiet time" comment, huh?) In divine fashion, my morning devo was about sharing -- not stuff, but your heart. How often do we really fail to do that? We walk on eggshells to prevent hurting one another's feelings, and then ultimately walk away feeling worse than we do. We don't share. Our thoughts, our opinions, relevant truth. It's sad really. This friend also made me think about the dynamics of relationships. He's a guy in his mid 20's who is really experiencing heartbreak for the first time. TV glamorizes people having their hearts broken in their teens because they're young, and they'll bounce, but I am a firm believer that more people are older when they experience this than not. Case in point: ME. I was 21. I loved hard. And I fell hard too. But I fell hard into God's amazing grace, even though I couldn't recognize it at all. And after my experience, I wanted everyone to be able to experience that same intensity of euphoria: Being Loved 100%. Love truly is a beautiful thing.

And yet, I can be so greedy with my love sometimes. I've got to change my ways. I don't deserve love, but get it anyway, and then hold it away from others who desperately need it. Sheesh.

More oft than not, those things we are so desperate for, we deprive others of, in an attempt to not show our vulnerability. We are totally stupid.

"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." I Timothy 1:5


Miranda said...

I was 24 :0(

Miranda said...

I was 24 and it sucks!

Jenn said...

M., You will bounce... it's just a matter of making it through the next few weeks!!!