Monday, October 15, 2007

...boring...

Today, I am kind of boring. I am thinking of course, but over stupid stuff.

On the way into work, I was thinking about my Alma Mater's homecoming. It's three weeks away. Some of my most favorite people in the world will not only be in town, but will also be staying at my house. We always have a ton of fun.

And then I realize that, I'm going to see people I don't like. People who make me uncomfortable. I am pretty confident most of the time, but these people illuminate, with great intensity, all of my insecurities. They make me feel inadequate. They make me feel small. (Too bad that can't happen stature or weight wise, huh?)

And then I am at the point where I am confused as to why or how I ever gave these people the capacity to make me feel less than? When did I do this? WHY did I do this? What is so special/wonderful/important about these people that I should feel like this? And I am confused.

For homecoming, I'll put on my game face. The one that says, "I'm doing great; how are you?". Which, I am doing great. And I geniunely care how the other people are.

Oi, this is too much for early Monday morning.

Ugh.

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