When my grandmother was here a few weeks ago, she made a point to wait until I was trapped in the car for a good while to ask me about Paul. Paul was a guy I went to church with ions ago. He's 6'4", a year younger than me, and had the great cheeks that I called "hypercolor" (think about the t-shirts). I had a HUGE crush on Paul (partly because he was such a sweetheart and because he was so tall!), and it was my understanding the feelings were mutual. But I was 16, and he was 15 and frankly we were both dorks. I SOOO wanted him to take me to my junior prom (I even bought a dress), but he never asked.
And everytime I go to my Mom's church, his aunt tells me how sad she is that we never dated. And so my grandmother asked me in the car that day, "Why didn't you ever date Paul?". And my response was that he NEVER ASKED.
He's now happily married, but everytime I see his Mom or Aunt or third cousin twice removed, the only thing they can say to me is, "Why aren't you with Paul?". And frankly, it's exhausting. And hurtful. And kinda mean.
All I'm saying is: You have not, because you ask not, and making the girl feel bad about it now: NOT EFFECTIVE. Please stop asking.