03.15.2006

Today is the Ides of March. I had the phrase "Et tu Brute" running through my head all day. Weird.

I started a "real" journal yesterday -- with a little different spin on writing.

Got a phone call today that I didn't expect, but I was definitely glad to hear the voice on the other end.

They brought a grief counselor to work for the other department. Visitation is tomorrow; the funeral is Friday. I will have worn black five days in a row.

My brother had to work until 4:00 a.m. this morning. He had to be back at work at 8:30 a.m.

I got several compliments on my hair today, which I weird because I feel like it looks terrible. That also happens when I wear shoes that I think are totally hideous. Maybe I should just buy clothes I think are totally tacky and be the fashionista. Yeah right.

Today was not particularly a good day at work for reasons other than the grieving. Spent alot of time thinking today too -- about habits that defeat me. Thought about marraige too. I talked to a friend on Monday about what she wants her wedding to be. Any woman would tell you that this is a normal conversation. But this is from someone who enjoys "the game", but she's at a point where she's actually thinking about all of this. I used to know what I wanted. I had everything planned out. I knew bridesmaids, colors, songs, all of it. Life is very stranger how it makes things change.

Thank God for perspective. Thank God for sending my husband in His Perfect timing. I am thankful that God really knows what I want, even though no one would believe it. Thank God.