Friday, March 17, 2006


Yesterday is one of those days when I'm glad I didn't have time to blog! My emotions were all over the place. I was happy, really angry, sad, confused, scared, excited, and probably a few more than were all too much to contain. I was so exhausted after the funeral visitation last night and shopping and doing laundry, I just didn't feel like blogging. (And we all breathe a little deeper.)

The funeral for my co-worker was today. It was so sad. His kids were 30 and 26, and his oldest son is getting married in June. My heart is so sad. The service was done very nicely.

It's strange, because I had so much I wanted to blog about, and now it doesn't seem so important.


So... it's like an hour later, and I remembered what I wanted to blog about. I'm still reading P&P. I read a love letter from one beginning with "Beloved" ending with "Tenderly". I can't wait for the day that I have those kind of love letters. More than passion... real soul.

As far as other stuff, I am really learning about judgmentalness. I sat down with a friend and listened to how she views another friend (don't you hate this -- why can't I just mention names?). I didn't realize the anomicity that friend#1 has for friend #2. When did this happen? The statement was made that "She just makes me feel uncomfortable and disgusting." I sat there like "WHAT?", but didn't say a word. It's really made me evaluate some things. Where is That Line to distinguish 'loving the sinner, hating the sin', and just not being around that person. The bible doesn't say Jesus went to bars, but he did hang out with sinners and loved them and talked to them. I guess my justification is that, I do love my friends, in light of their lifestyles, but I don't really support them by not going. Where is that Line? Any thoughts? Anyway, I just don't want to be like that. I am, but I don't want to be. (I can't point fingers.)

I am still dealing with a big situation. I need to have one of those talks with a friend of mine. I would like to think that I don't avoid this kind of stuff, but I really do. And this talk is so much bigger than I know what to do or how to deal with it. I am still in prayer. I would love to never say anything, but then I struggle with the the fact that I think it makes me a more horrible person for never really loving them enough to confront. UGH. Sometimes being an overly emotional woman is exhausting.

I still have a lot to change about me. Speaking of change, I went shopping last night, and tried on a dress by Maggy London. I hope I never meet Maggy face to face on the street; I might have to hit her. Big girls do no need to EVER wear that much spandex, especially not in a dress!!!! She's probably one of those designers that designs clothes for fluffier women, but only wears a 0 because she's so enthralled in her work. Bless her heart, God bless her little soul.

I did get to watch people at the mall. I really don't go to the mall too much anymore, so it was nice. I love watching the dynamics of people together. Last night's highlights: watching two sixteen year old boys run 'game' on two girls at the table beside me. They were pulling out all the stop, if you know what I mean. The second was a punk couple, and the guy pulled up his girlfriends jacket (to cover cleavage) and said "that's saved for me -- everyone doesn't need to see it!" I laughed out loud. Just couldn't help it.

Got a chance for a little redemption today. I am SO thankful for God's grace!!!!

No comments: