I've rejoined the "Real" world again!
It's good to be back, better than I thought it could be!
Over the next few days or posts, I'll blog about California. I am... disappointed and very let down with California. In my current, bitter state, I kinda think it's overrated. I don't want to write a lot tonight because it's late and I'm tired! Sometime tomorrow, I'll be uploading the pictures from this weekend, although only a few of them are from L.A./Hollywood. Most are from San Fran and Alcatraz.
I did not go to the wedding. I've caught a bit of flack for not going, but I'm not going to feel bad about.
Robert was "that guy" in my life. We met 15 years ago and clicked instantly... even and especially when I didn't want too. He was the one who got me... if you know what I mean. He got me, and cared for me deeply... in spite of my own crazies and my road to self discovery. But, as I've explained (more this last week than ever!), the reason Robert and I aren't together is because of his relationship with the Lord.
Robert didn't love Jesus like I needed him too. If mine and Robert's relationship had gone farther, it would have meant that I would have had to force him to go to church every Sunday. That's not the kind of life, or the kind of marriage I would have wanted. I've harped to my friends about not compromising, but I don't think they've gotten it... that is unti this last week.
And Robert knew it from the beginning. We cared deeply for each other, but I meant I was not going to backdown on this one requirement. Love Jesus with your whole heart first... then me. And it's clear, he made his decision.
It's okay to NOT compromise. Life and relationships and marriage and friendships and complicated whatevers don't look the way we 'imagine' they should. They always look different. And good different too. We live in a society that promotes and encourages compromise, and I have good friends who don't value themselves and see compromise as their only answer. But it's not... It's NOT.
And I chose -- a LONG TIME AGO -- that I was not going to compromise. I've had it thrown in my face recently that, I loved two guys who DID love Jesus, and neither of those worked out. But that does not give me reason to think that God has forgotten about it. If anything, it reminds me that God is most definitely watching out for me.
Robert and his new wife, their daughter, and their baby on the way are going to be just fine.
And I am too.