1.15.2007

Today is the midmark of the month of January. :)

My heart is bursting with excitement. It has been for a while, and last night was no exception. Last night I was reading and came across this quote:

"Some people say, "God will never ask me to do something I can't do." I have come to the place in my life that, if the assignment I sense God is giving me is something that I know I can handle, I know it probably isn't from God. The kind of assignments God gives in the Bible are always God-sized. They are always beyond what people can do, because He wants to demonstrate His nature, His strength, His provision, and His kindness to His people and to a watching world. This is the only way the world will come to know Him." (Henry Blackaby, my emphasis)

And then... it hit me. I thought about all the pastors on television who ask for money. I am not defending those who have made some mistakes (Bakker, Swaggert, Haggard), but I thought about the dynamic ministries and specifically something that Jesse Duplantis said when I heard him preach a few months ago. I have questioned and judged those who get on television, thinking that what they were asking for was ridiculous, or, since I would never see it in person, wouldn't want to give anyway. I have turned the channels in the name of frivolity. But it hit me last night -- that I have NO IDEA of the vision that God gave them. I realize that this opens a "can of worms" with some people, and I'm not going to waste my time on the differing opinions. I thought of my own dreams and aspirations. You know, sometimes God puts things in your heart and your head that, if you ever REALLY shared them, your loved ones would have you shipped off to padded rooms with little while jackets. But that is EXACTLY what God does. Real callings are doing those things that seem ridiculous and impossible. They're humanly impossible, but totally God-possible. As a matter of fact, they're God-Easy, but we don't have the capacity to understand that. As I kept on reading/studying, I ran across this scripture, and for me, it lines right up with the quote above:

"Do not let this Book of Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:8-9

Did he not command us? Yes!!! He did!! I love that the Lord has to tell Joshua three times in one chapter to "be strong and courageous". God know it wasn't going to come easy. God knew that the task He assigned Joshua was too big for Joshua to get. He needed to be encouraged. His faith needed to be reminded. Mine was reminded twice in October, and once on New Years Eve. I was even more encouraged in my heart last night regarding what I've been praying about in my life. Here are the facts: I am moving. (I'm not moving to Dalton anymore... long story!) But I am moving. When are where -- totally in the Lord's hands. Not mine. If I had been destined for a life of mediocrity, then I would have mediocre dreams and mediocre hopes, and there would be mediocre people in my life. I don't. I don't. And there aren't. This ride, this adventure, this roller coaster -- is Just the Beginning. You know, I'm 28 years old, and I still get excited and can't sleep the night before I go to Six Flags. I have been probably 100 times, but I still get butterflies. That's the way I feel right now. I am at the door of the adventure.... this incredible adventure that the Lord has for me... and I've got the butterflies... and I can't wait!

This weekend, a friend of mine came in town and we ate/laughed/acted silly, the whole nine. But last night, as I was getting ready to drop her off, she made a reference a relationship that I am not longer in, and how nothing good came out of it. I was slightly appalled that she made that comment, because so much good came out of that horrible relationship.

I learned:
1) I deserve God's best for me. What I was holding onto so desperately was not the best. It wasn't even close.
2) The foolish fantasized relationship that I thought I wanted had to be shattered in the process.
3) The dreams that I had, the plans that I made, had to be destroyed and must die a painful death in order for me to realize that what God planned for me, Before I was ever born, is so much bigger than this.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a good thing -- but call me. Hear the excitement in my voice when I tell you of the good things that came out of that bad relationship. Better still... hear the excitement in my voice when I tell you that, while I don't know what waits ahead for me, that I do know that it will be so wonderful that I won't be able to contain it.

Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."