1.16.07

Nothing really incredibly profound today... but that's okay.

I'm a woman, therefore, I'm a worrier. I'm overly analytical (often times to the wrong), and a deep thinker. Lately, my thoughts have made me restless and sleepless (until I fall asleep and then I don't want to get up to go to work in the a.m.!). Saturday was an especially rough day for me, as I had a lot of time driving. Normally... typically... driving is very therapeutic for me. It's been that way for 12 years. But during times of healing and restoration, when I know that I am still very involved in the process, driving can be the "anti" of what I really need. So Saturday, I found myself rebuking my thoughts and cranking up praise and worship music in the hopes that my ears would hurt too bad for me to think. (It didn't really help and I think I have temporary deafness in one ear.)

There are times when I read scripture and I don't always understand the context. But last night in my reading, I understand something David said with complete clarity:

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to you word." Psalm 119:37.

I can imagine David going through the land, thinking about what his enemies were plotting against him (see the rest of Psalm 119), and worrying about what they're next move was, or what they were saying about him, or what he ever really did to deserve this. If David could drive, I'm sure he'd be flying through the desert at Mach 3 trying to get out of dodge. But, his heart is pained as he cries out to his God to sanctify and re-align his mind by saying (my paraphrase) - "God, help me get this crap out of my head, these thoughts that I can't do anything with, that only hurt me, and help me focus on You, and take care of me Lord. By Your words you promised to take care of me."

Do you ever find yourself worrying endlessly about stuff that you have no business worrying and fretting over? I do. I can't stop "them" from saying ugly things about, or thinking terrible thoughts about me, based on lies. But I can stop wasting my time worrying and being anxious over those things, and get my focus back on God's will and God's work.

"You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Psalm 23:5-6